How Does One Hide Who They Are?

She could tell they were leaving the towering mountains by how much warmer the air felt on her skin. The light snow that would occasionally fall on their journey had stopped completely and the forest landscape around her felt slightly different.

'I wonder how far we have traveled from home.'

No, the Arco Viscountcy was no longer home to her. She must not think that way. Earning merits was the only way to get that right back. She must strive to improve herself so that she could live up to the expectations of those that came before her.

Still the realizations over the last few days had hit her hard. Especially now that she had opened up her eyes and saw the many ways in which Lucas showered her with affection.

Eva hated how it made her feel shy and it seemed her face was cursed to forever burn with her embarrassment. Seeing the often worried expression on his face was tugging her heart strings more and more.

How could she tell him that she knew and that she felt the same way? She was unable to deviate from the path she had chosen for herself. It would be unfair of her to expect him to follow her forever.

She was not a fool. She knew that relationships took more than just love and affection. Her noble education had prepared her for these types of feelings. Sure she had been caught off guard with Hanz, but this time she would make better choices.

A sigh escaped her as a sad expression came across her face. The ribbon she had used to tie her hair fluttered in the wind and tickled her arm for a moment. Thinking ahead is what nobles did. It was of no use to be sad over her decision.

All of her failings could be summed up with one answer. She was weak. So weak that her father decided she needed someone by her side. However, having someone strong beside you was not always a good thing.

She should not let the lesson Hanz taught her go to waste. Eva believed that people who showed you who they were should be believed the first time. Perhaps that is why she could never give up on her father in the first place.

It was because he showed her how much he loved her early on. All of his actions could be summed up with him just trying to protect her. His love for her must have blinded him to Hanz' true intentions.

The scant amount of Arco blood in Hanz must be so shallow that he is unable to conduct himself as a true noble. And most nobles did not pay attention to the happenings of territories that were so far away from the Capital.

It was a perfect recipe for betraying her father. All of these realizations made Eva feel bitter.

'Father must have been desperate.'

That was why he boldly declared Hanz his successor and let him into their lives. Not having any male successors was the same as saying that you failed as a noble.

Eva pulled her knees up and rested her head on them. The beautiful scenery around her did little to lift her mood. Perhaps the worst thing she had going for her is that she had never been debuted by her father. So no one even knew who she was.

'It would be difficult to use the Von Arco title in the Capital then. I can not prove my lineage. Even if the nobles in the sovereign lands believed me, I am still but a girl with no merits.'

Her only real choice was to become an adventurer and earn merits in hopes that one day she could earn a noble title on her own. But how could she hide the fact she was born a noble?

She did not know how commoners acted. Her father kept her locked up in their estate from a young age. All the knights who had trained her had been hand picked because of how they interacted with nobles.

By the time she ended up at the Capital she might even act more like an elf than a human. As her only companion had been Lucas all this time.

'I will just have to blend in with the other students at the Adventurer's School.'

"Eva, are you done?" she heard Lucas call from somewhere behind her.

Her heart immediately started beating loudly inside of her chest.

"I-I'm almost done!" she called back, hurriedly picking up the dry clothes next to her and pulling them onto her body.

She looked at the reflection of herself in the water and quickly smoothed down her ruffled hair before turning and walking back to today's campsite.

She stumbled a bit with the bundle of blankets in her arms, but a strong set of hands carching her waist steadied her.

"Let me carry them." Lucas' clear voice was too close to her ear.

Eva's cheeks burned and she felt like returning to the stream to splash the cold water upon her face before he could see it.

'There has got to be a limit to how many times I blush in front of this elf.'

The hands on her waist disappeared and the bundle of blankets that was partially obstructing her view was taken from her hands. Eva turned away and silently cursed the fact she had tied back her hair.

She desperately wanted to hide the redness in her face. Even if it was only a thin layer of her hair. However, when she turned to look at Lucas he was already halfway to the fire with the blankets.

She felt unsatisfied with the fact that he didn't try to look into her face. A small bubble of anger pooled in her stomach and she stomped behind him back to the fire.

"Do you mind if I wash up as well?"

Lucas asked as soon as he set down the blankets back into the bedroll for her. A moment of silence followed and he looked back at her questioningly.

His question had momentarily distracted her, allowing the slight anger she felt to slip away from her.

"Oh, sure."

She agreed to his request and he picked up a small bag and headed back into the trees. They had camped closer to water than usual this time. She would only need to walk a few meters in order to watch him wash up.

'What am I even thinking?'

Still, Eva was staring at the space between the trees where Lucas had disappeared.

'He would hear me if I got close.'

******

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