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A Nihilists Guide to Optimism(indefinite hiatus)

Sine Helmuth, a popular kid at Izayoi High, Meets a Girl in the pouring rain, and thus a fateful encounter, will the girl help Sine learn how to care again? and will she be able to have someone care for her finally? (updates every 2 days ish if i stay consistent kek)

Sounare · Realistic
Not enough ratings
7 Chs

The Deal.

Time: 5:40 pm

Location: Cafe, Zin

Me and May enter the cafe, we find a seat in the corner. And begin to talk.

"So as I said, I'll listen to your problems. What are they?"

I asked calmly and while tilting my head to the side.

"I- I'm always alone, bullied, and no one cares about me. Everyone just sees me as this loser otaku. I feel like I don't belong anywhere at all..."

May's head is looking downwards at the table, and saying these words with a soft tone, like she has given up on it all.

"Hmm I see, speaking of what are your hobbies?"

I asked another question, this time asking something I was curious about.

"Its anime, and drawing. I use them to cope with the lonelyness"

("To cope huh, how relatable she is..)

I shortly recall back to my childhood days, but immediately squash that memory as quickly as it popped up.

"Do you... Like Drawing and anime?"

I asked again, deciding on this being my last question for her for now.

"Yeah. At one point, I just did it to deal with the stress. But nowadays, I genuinely enjoy it."

(".. but this part is not like me")

A question pops up in my head. Asking it before I forget I look at her seriously

"Do you even know my name Ms. May Evony?"

I ask her with a deadpanned look

"Sorry no..."

She looks away, blushing lightly. Embarrassed that she didn't know my name.

And I looked at her, still continuing the deadpanned expression on my face.

"We were seatmates for a whole year and you don't know my name? Dang. Do you live under a rock or something?"

I said sarcastically, as I look at her with concern

"I-- may consider myself sometimes living under a rock, I just keep to myself.. I'm sorry"

Trying to justify her ignorance. She looks at me with puppy dog eyes.

but it was futile as it does not work on me, but I'll let it slide for now.

"For the love of... I'm pretty sure I'm one of the more popular students. HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW ME"

I say over reacting to her ignorance, but only jokingly.

"I- Sorry~ I forgor"

Getting the hint, May replied jokingly too.

"Sine Helmuth"

I say kindly, as I give her my name.

"It's nice to Meet you Sine, you already know my name, But. I'm May Evony"

She says, greeting me surprisingly well for a self proclaimed "loner"

"Let's cut to the chase, since I asked you a whole plethora of questions, you can ask me as many as you want too."

I tell her, with my fingers doing the trade offer gesture

"Why. Did your eyes look so dead before?"

May asked the question running through her mind when she first saw Sine

"..."

I stay silent as I compose an answer as this is a difficult question for me to answer.

"At some point in the past, I broke. My sense of care was gone. I never really had anything to care for in even before then. I just gave up. Thought everything I did was meaningless, and at some point I just became like this. If I had a word to describe myself as, A nihilist

I explained to May the best I can as tried to explain my complicated feelings.

"That's.. I know it's hard when no one cares abou-"

May gets cut off by my calm but domineering voice

"It's not like that... There are those who do care for me. (I begin to think about the classmates who supported my attempts on trying to find a new thing to care about, and even my decision to try and change my class schedule.) I.. feel awful, the fact that I can't genuinely care for them. The fact I didn't feel anything leaving them for just a bit of convenience on my part...

I correct May in her assumption In a calm manner, trying not to have a angry tone to not scare her.

"I- i'm sorry for my assumption. I think what your dealing with is a lot worse than mine..."

May says, speaking the truth that she believes, she believes that Sine's situation is awful. The fact that he cant reciprocately care about those who care for him must hurt.

"It's fine... You were only trying to console me. I can see that,

And you shouldn't downplay your situation either... We both have problems. And I have already confirmed we can help each others problems"

I tell her truthfully, and remind her that she also has her problems to face.

"Now I'll just cut to the chase and assume you wanted to ask why I wanted to help you.. and I believe you already know the answer to that.."

May nods at me, already knowing where this conversation is going.

"Now I am here to propose a deal. You use me. And I use you, as a fake lover, a friend, or whatever. As long as I get to learn how to care about something, or someone eventually... I'm quite popular you see, so you can use my vast social circle to find a group you can belong to."

I tell my offer to May, saying so with a more serious tone this time, looking at her straight in the eyes.

"I- accept. Then i'll be in your care"

She offers her hand to shake, and I shake on it sealing the deal.

"Now lets talk about the details. How about it? A lover, a friend? Or do you have something else in mind..."

I talk casually about this like it's nothing, meanwhile May while slightly blushing, composses herself, as she affirms what she is about to say.

" I think becoming a fake couple is the best, move..."

May says truthfully, as she blushes more as she says it.

"So. What's the reason for you to choose this arrangement?, I already formed my conclusion but I want to hear your thoughts."

As I was genuinely surprised because she actually said herself the best arrangement for us to be able to help each other.

"Well.. my thought process is that just being friends is not enough for me to take advantage of your social networks. And not only that, having a more intimate relationship may prove effective in you caring about me...."

May says with a proffesional tone, right until the last part where her face becomes flushed with red.

"Hmm the same conclusion as me... Good to know we atleast think alike, and now I don't have to explain why being a fake couple is our best route...."

(This seems to be a great deal for both parties. I'm glad its her I'm doing this deal with...)

I didn't notice but, I made genuine smile. For the first time in a long time, although only a small one and it, was for a short duration. But this was progress nonetheless. Because of the this May also didn't notice the smile.

"Then at this point we'll be lovers. Atleast to the public eye..."

May says, blushing while she looks at me.

"Yes. And I just realized something.."

I then had an epiphany, about our location

"We're at a cafe we should order something, for today it's on me so order whatever you like.."

As I usually try to save a bit of money in my allowance everyday. My savings eventually pilled up to a staggering amount. Since I don't have much I want to spend on. The least I could do was this. So my savings can atleast be used to threat my new "lover"

I then raise my hand to call for a waiter to take our order.

"Hi welcome to Cafe Zin, may I take your order?"

The waiter said so with a beaming smile on her face

"I'll have a Dark Chocolate Mocha, Decaffeinated please, and with extra sugar"

I go with my go to drink after classes, as I already had 2 shots of coffee today(one before going to school, and one while in the library) I ordered it decaffed as too much coffee is bad for my heart.

"And I'll have a chocolate milkshake please."

May also had gone with her usual order, she hasn't been here before so she doesn't feel comfortable getting a drink that isn't familiar to her.

"Alright, One Dark Chocolate Mocha with extra sugar, Decaffed , and one Chocolate milkshake. Anything else?"

The waiter asked, as she waited for out answers.

"No that is all."

I answered for the both of us and the waiter left to tend to more customers.

"Do you like coffee Sine?"

May asked curiously, as she wanted to get to know her new "lover"

"To be honest at this point it has become and addiction... Its really painful for me to be in the morning schedule, for a whole year I barely had 6 hours of sleep a day, and a cup of espresso to keep me going for the day."

I sigh, reminiscing about the many days of lacking sleep and many the copious amounts of coffee I have drunk this year

"Ohh I see, then why did you order a decaffeinated drink? I kinda have a guess, but I want to confirm why you ordered it?"

May asked, although already having her own conclusion she decides to ask anyways.

"Well. I set my caffeine intake to a maximum of two shots per day. And this is going to be my third so I ordered it decaffed."

I explain my reason, and May nods to my answer as I satisfied her curiosity.

"then, do you prefer hot or cold coffee?"

May asks yet another question. Stirring the conversation further.

"I prefer hot. But I do like cold too, especially cold brew and the dark chocolate mocha I just ordered"

"I also keep a few bottles of cold brew stored in my fridge for whenever I need a pump of energy. I can let you have some if you come over my house at some point in the future.."

May blushes at the mention of coming over to Sine's house. But notheless accepts the offer

"Yeah... I accept, you better not forget Darling~~"

May is blushing a bit, but decides to try and tease Sine

"For a self proclaimed loner loser, you sure are bold, and very talkative..."

I say my usual, being brutally honest about what I thought.

"Hey. I am a loner. But that doesn't mean i'm shy or anything, you nihilistic little shit-"

Sine looks at her, with a surprised with her vulgar wording... He didn't think she can banter like this with him, It makes him more interested in her as a result..

"Ok, ok you didn't have to mention that you know..."

I say acting sad, from her words. I smile again, still short in duration, and small in size, but this time. May noticed but didn't comment on it.

"Hehe"

She just giggles at Sine's antics, seeing him in a new light.

"And you said you're a nihilist. What a total load of bull~"

She teases further , although Sine deflects with a good argument.

"Nihilism and apathy are different dumbass..."

May nods, agreeing with his point

"Yeah.. fair point"

They continue to banter, and "flirt" until their drinks arrived, then drinking while talking. May and Sine grow closer really quickly, they now feel as though they knew each other for a long time.

Time:6:30 pm

Location: Outside Cafe Zin

We walk together outside, casually speaking a bit and then May realizes something.

"Hey Sine. We don't have each other's numbers don't we?"

May mentioned a good point to Sine, and now Sine took out his phone, and May following after.

"Here ya go."

I put my phone on the add contact list, and gave my phone to May.

"And here you are"

Likewise May also gave me her phone. So I can add my phone number, getting an idea I add my contact in and snap a picture of myself and made it the contact profile.

"Well here ya go..."

We exchanged back our phones and looked at each other's contact info.

"Hey."

We say at the same time, giggling a bit as we realized that we did the same thing.

"Still.. how thoughtful of you to put your face in my contact's list..

I thanked her, looked at her face in my contacts, while she also does the same.

"Say cheese"

"Wha"

May grabs me and snaps a surprise selfie of the two of us. And she sends it to me.

"Here's a suvenir for our first meeting.. and to our new relationship"

Like before May says the first part proffesionally, then gets embarrassed by the last part of her sentence.

"Hmm what a great suvenir.."

I pat her head gently as a thanks

"That feels.. nice"

May smiles as she looks at Sine happily.

"Welp. It's getting pretty late now. We should go home."

May replied, agreeing with Sine's Reccomendation.

"Yeah I'll see ya soon."

"Yeah bye.. thanks for the date~

I said teasingly as I turn around and go to my usual route to my home

"Wha. That little...."

May then turns away. Blushing From Sine's words. Now going to the route to her home.

Time: 12:00mn

Location: Sine's Bedroom

*ring* *ring *ring*

As I try to fall asleep, my phone rings, and I check It out

"Oh its May."

Hey ya'll author here. I am stilll starting this writing thing recently, so a review of the story so far will be helpful for me to try and become better.

I thank you in advance!