Annoying God
Two men were walking down an alleyway. They were not walking straight, stumbling and bumping into things. They were obviously drunk out of their minds.
"Hey, Dwamien, we's gotta go two zat puv gain someday kay? " A raspy voice said, the sentence being dreadful due to the man being drunk af. But the other person understood what they were saying.
"Surz fings, Zachy that waz quite the night zat waz. " The man named Damien replied back. "But, we'z gonna getz a huge fucking hangzover tomorrow nowz aren't we? "
"Who carez, i like being drunk outta my mind. Helpz me slip away from mah problems."
The men were chatting happily and drunkenly while walking down an alleyway, when a the sound of something crashing on somewhere came from above. One of them instinctively looked up and one of them uttered.
"What'z zat? "
The man named Damien looked up only to see a black object that seemed to be shattered coming down on his head full speed. "Oh shiz. " was the only thing he got to utter before everything went black.
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Damien woke up in a completely black room. Getting up he said still drowsy from just getting up.
"That was one hell of a night, wait I don't have a hangover, ain't that great? And wheres Zac- wait. " He stopped mid sentence when he registered where he was, but only for a moment before Continuing to no one in particular. " Damn, have I been kidnapped again? "
He was not expecting an answer but someone or something answered.
"Mayhaps. " The voice sounded... old and young at the same time in the simplest of terms. The voice sounded like it held wisdom from an old man but held the knowledge of the younger generation. But it was clear that the being behind voice was neither as mayhaps wasn't an actual word.
"Oi ya pansy. Show yourself, don't hide. " Damien said trying to ask his nervousness with pointless bravado. " And learn how to speak English properly. " He added an insult to boot, and although it wasn't a good idea to insult your would be kidnapper, he wasn't scared as because Damien was a police officer he still had his gun with him. Though he did feel strange as to why the 'Kidnappers' did not take away his gun, he wasn't complaining.
The voice then retorted back. " What a colourful vocabulary, do humans not have a sense of inferiority in the sense of absolute perfection? "
"Hah perfection my ass. " Said Damien. "From where I am standing you merely some disembodied voice. Why don't you show yourself to me scumbag, or are ya afraid of my gun. " While still firmly believing he was kidnapped my some narcissistic faggot.
"Very well. " Said the voice, albeit in a clearly more irritated tone than before. "Gaze upon on perfection, human. " Before a bright ray of light exploded in the already white domain.
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After a good 10 seconds, Damien was able to open his eyes, and what he saw next left him in awe.
Before him stood a gigantic bird, which was judging from his position about 300 meters tall. It's wings, although tucked neatly to its side could probably be over 500 meters. The entire bird had 3 eyes, and a patch of glorious red feathers on its forehead. It's claws where glowing golden as did the ends of its wings. It also head a bunch of feathers in its rear end that glowed red. It looked like a glorious, large
....no overgrown Chicken.
"Gaze upon my form, human so that you may know your inferiority. " Said the voice clearly coming from the gigantic and majestic bird. " If your kneeling and asking for forgiveness it's not nece-"
The voice was cut of from a huge laugh coming from somewhere. The laugh was so loud that it somehow dwarfed even the voice coming from the bird. The huge bird turned his head to look at the place the voice was coming from, and instead of the source of the laughter, it only saw Damien. But instead of the puny human kneeling and apologizing, he was actually laughing. It turned out that Damien was actually the source of the laughter.
"Hahahahahhahaa Its a chicken, a big overgrown fat Chicken!!! " Said Damien, who was thinking that the scene before him was a crazy dream he was having due to drinking too hard.
The bird in front of him was dumbfounded for a moment. This human, this little,puny,weak human was actually mocking him. After a moment of time, the brief moment of shock turned to rage. "YOU DARE MORTAL!?!? " Came the loud voice of the bird as the surrounding white area turned orange.
Damien who was laughing his ass of was suddenly pushed to the ground with an extreme force. He would've swore that his bones should be broken but it didn't oddly enough.
"Heh this dre-am is s-so real-istic. Turns o-out I'm Lu-ci-cid. " Said Damien while still smiling.
When those words came out of his mouth all the pressure suddenly stopped. The bird looked dumbfounded at Damien's statement. Did this dumbass still think that he was dreaming?
"You know you aren't dreaming right human. " Asked the bird.
"Of course I am, watch me. " Said Damien as he tried to make a fireball. He had Lucid dreamt many times so making a mere fireball shouldn't be too hard. Except it didn't. He tried and tried again but failed. After a dozen failed attempts, he paused, looked at the giant bird before him and only uttered a single word.
"Uhhh... guess this isn't a dream.... sorry i guess? "
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After apologizing profusely at the giant bird whom he found out to be the literal god of the universe Damien learnt that had died back on earth and was about to be reincarnated into another with all his memories intact. Except he had a few problems
"So let me get this straight, I ended up sying to a flowerpot that was dropped from a balcony, by a cat? " Asked Damien. "Also why should I get reincarnated into another world? Can't I get reincarnated back into my old world with all my memories? Also why am 'I' specifically getting reincarnated? "
"You ask to much questions human. But to show my limitless generosity i will answer them. " Said the overgrown chicken in an extremely narcissistic fashion causing Damien to nearly roll his eyes. "For your first question the reason your getting reincarnated is because your world and your world's humans posses an extreme amount of latent soul energy. This extremely high amount of soul energy means that you're race is the only one that can get safely reincarnated into another world without immediately getting obliterated out of existence, and you are getting reincarnated to another world, to save it from the demon Lord, or whatever cliché ass shit they have. As for you third question well I just chose you randomly is all. "
"And for my second? " Damien asked further.
"Well...uhhhh.... that is a question for another times. "
"Are you hiding something from me? " Said Damien while squinting his eyes at the overgrown chicken.
The giant bird before him looked..... nervous? It's eyes wildly darting everywhere all the while avoiding making eye contact with William.
But soon the bird cracked on the soul piercing gaze of Damien and relented. "Fine you win. The reason I'm not sending you back your previous world, even though you disrespected me was the fact that i dont have the authority to do so. "
Damien was puzzled. Wasn't the giant bird before him the god of the universe? Or was that simply a lie?
"How aren't you the god of the universe? "
"Let me finish human! " Said the bird. " Like you said I am a god. 'A' god mind you not 'The' God. I rule over a universe but it's not the only one. Your universe is ruled over by the Supreme God my father thus the soul energy of the races if your universe is the largest.I had to beg for him to give me a soul of a random human from his universe. I'm an extremely young god barely a billion year old,and my universe barely a million.Thus it can only harbour 1 world. For universes to grow they need energy from their respective god, and the gods of that universe require faith from the mortals to grow in strength. Any faith will do as long as they believe in atleast 1 god. But these bastards of my universe, don't believe in any god, instead they believe in their ancestors, which don't give me any energy. "
Damien though for but a split second and concluded. "So let me guess, you want me to be your herald in this world and bring forth a new religion to increase your power? "
"Nice guess human but no. " Said the bird confusing Damien. "You do not need to do anything. Well actively anyways. I need to start over, this universe of mine is a hot mess meaning that nothing can save it. I will seperate my connection to this universe so that the universe will automatically merge back with me. But the planets that harbour life inside wont. It's also taboo for gods to leave any planet that harbours life without a universe or a god, meaning I have to destroy that planet. But that would only be a waste of energy. So I've brought you here. The original explanation of you getting reborn to beat the demon Lord is nothing but a lie. I merely intend to pass you a Millionth of my divine strength. It will create a loop hole, since you still have my divine strength, you will be like an avatar of mine, meaning that I will still technicaly be with that universe. "
Damien pondered for a while and then asked a question that had been bugging him for a while. "What if I refuse. "
"Than you shall cease to exist. " Replied the bird with a cold voice. "And what makes you think you have a choice in this matter? "
Damien then immediately concluded. "No. No you won't. Judging from your narcissistic character, you would've killed me as soon as I called you a chicken. But you didn't meaning you need me, and the fact that you needed to beg your father to take one of his human's means that you won't be getting any other anytime soon. Thus you would probably try to persuade me to go to that universe. And for your second question. If you didn't need my permission then you would've already sent me to that world, instead of conversing with me. "
The Bird looked a bit shocked. How did this human come to that conclusion so quickly? Somehow 'small' beads of sweat the size of an adult giraffe started to drop down it's feathers. It then asked.
"Do you refuse? "
Damien then answered. "Of course not. If I can't reincarnate in my old world I may as well reincarnate in this fantasy world. "
The bird upon hearing his answer breathed an audible sigh or relief. It's orange eyes than glowed a bright white colour before a pillar of light erupted upon Damien.
"Farewell Human. "
As Damien felt his 'body' get transported to the fantasy world, he also uttered a farewell to the other party.
"Good bye overgrown Chicken! "
"WHY YOU LITT-" Damien didn't get to hear the end of the sentense as he got transported to another world.