35 :: Feelings for her ::

"Something bothering you?" Cullen's icy tone poked at me as I sauntered about the museum, reading the inscriptions introducing the history of each item. Names of countries in this strange world that did not exist in my world floated in my mind. Cullen coolly gave me a brief collection of the Silk Road and the history of the trades between China and the rest of the world.

I had never seen or boarded a boat or ship all my life, be it my present or past life. Due to this, the story behind the Admiral Cheng Ho's expedition to Southeast Asia was very mysterious to me. All of a sudden, Cullen must have read my thoughts, as he whisked us away into a strange vessel.

"Where.. Are … We?" I muttered out aloud. The mist inside the vessel cleared within seconds, and I studied the unfamiliar surroundings. 

"We are in the cabin of my boat," Cullen said with a satiated expression on his face. It did not amaze me that he had now swapped his rich boy outfit earlier into that of a seafarer's uniform. I know it's a uniform because I have seen such uniforms worn by people on TV. Sadly, Andophia is a smaller city, and there is no chance for me to have such an experience. Fortunately, Cullen took it upon himself to show me the wonders of the world that I have not seen.

"Cullen, I.."

"Are you enjoying the trip?" Cullen asked straightforwardly. I responded with a few fervent nods. At that juncture, I was suddenly aware how close we were standing on the boat.

"A few waves are up ahead," he said nonchalantly, and before I knew it, the boat was shaking vigorously. I landed unceremoniously in Cullen's arms.

Without cutting our eye contact, he trailed his cold fingers across my face, stroking my cheeks and moving downwards teasingly. His fingers stopped just inches from my collar.

"I…."

Less than an hour, we had shared a passionate kiss in the museum, and it took me some minutes to realise he had used his abilities to shelter our private moment from prying eyes. It was like a force field in those games. Nobody could get in or out. Cullen had done it so well, that even the sound of our voices were blocked out from being heard by others.

When Cullen touches me, I go into 'hyper' mode. I don't know why, but I feel I want more. But he always stops at just kissing. My body yearns for his touches, as cold as they are. While his touch is like ice, it has the opposite effect of warming up my body and sending tingling sensations all over me. I know what I am going through, in spite that I do not know what to anticipate, being a twenty-odd-year-old virgin.

"Shengyi," he whispers my name deeply into my ear. "All I want is for you to be mine." 

I take a deep breath. "Cullen..."

"I know you can't resist me, Shengyi… But until you say yes, I will not go beyond that."

"What is beyond that?" I decide to play dumb. He gazes intensely into my eyes upon hearing me what I had just said.

"Shengyi, do you really want to know?"

My body is convulsing with desire as I speak. I don't know how to react, but I feel hot.

"I..."

Is this a natural reaction, because Cullen is so irresistible? His eyes, his hair, his muscular figure, and the darkness about him that tempts me…

I don't think I can hold it off for long…

"Cullen," I manage to mouth his name. 

"Yes or no?" he torments me. I am slipping into desperation. I recognise those feelings. Although in my past life I had never experienced them before, I am desiring his touch so badly. But at the same time, I don't want to come off as being cheap and slutty.

Pull yourself together, Lu Shengyi! I snap in my thoughts. You can't… Not now!

To my surprise, Cullen suddenly helps me to my feet and presents me with a basin of water with a small towel in it. The water is icy cold like his temperament.

By now, the boat had ceased rocking. Cullen smiles.

"Your body wants it, but your heart isn't ready."

So… is he respecting me? 

"Yes, I am respecting you, Miss Lu Shengyi," he retorted to my thoughts. "When you say yes, be mindful that from that point onwards, you will not just be my lover, you will also be my partner and fiancee. My wife-to-be. You cannot look at any man out there or even think of being with another. I am a very jealous and possessive lover, Miss Lu. You will be mine and mine only."

I shudder at his statement. "But Cullen… isn't it only an act?"

"Definitely…. Not. Did you think your comeback here and what you have now is an act?"

"But Cullen," I squeaked in panic. "You have all the women in the world!"

"In your world, you mean? Did you really think it was I with those women? Have you forgotten the other Cullen Fu?"

I swallow nervously. "But I am just a human-"

"You are no normal mortal, my Shengyi. Everything is fated," Cullen states. "Everything happened for a reason. But now is not the time for you to know. When the time is right, you will know."

Again, this left me in utter confusion. My suicide attempt, my rebirth and the wealth I have now… everything was planned?

Then what about my half-sister and my father's new family? The fact that he is very much alive… were those also planned by Cullen?

"Let's just enjoy the scenery," he interrupts my thoughts and leads me to the deck. I see a beautiful sky with shades of pink and purple plastered around the clouds.

It never occurred to me that sunsets could be so beautiful, and in no time, Cullen had his hands and mouth all over me, tickling me and sending me into the depths of a bottomless pit of danger and yet, pleasure.

So that was how it was like to be in a relationship with an ethereal being, a demon. Even without doing the deed, it was surely pleasurable. His arms presented me with the comfort and security that I had wanted for so long, and furthermore, his enticing appearance invited me to enjoy my view of him for a very long time.

"Shengyi, do you have feelings for me?" He surprised me with the question. His voice was cold and piercing, seeming to impale right through me.

I put on my strongest smile, and taunt him, "Mr Devil Cullen, you just need to read my thoughts to have the answer."

During this time, my eyes were closed as I relaxed in his arms, basking under the moonlight. The sun had set hours ago, but we were still calmly laying on the deck. 

"I want to hear it from you, my Shengyi," he whispered, caressing my cheeks.

"What about you?" I retort, still keeping my eyes closed. "What do you have for me?"

"I not only want you to fulfil your end of the bargain, but I want you for eternity," he mutters, gliding his fingers on the exterior of my clothes. "Do I have to remind you that the contract you signed with me in your previous life binds you for eternity?"

"Until I die?"

He looks at me strangely, as if I had said something wrong. 

Surely, if I am a human, I will die someday, unless….

I stop myself in my thoughts. I don't want to think about the day I am set to leave this world. There's a lot I haven't experienced and achieved for me to die.

"Cullen, my question to you is, do you have feelings for me?"

He frowns. Creases form all over his handsome face in comparison to a human frowning. "Isn't it obvious? I want you because I have feelings for you."

"Why me, Cullen? I asked you before, but I don't seem to understand. Why me, when you can have anyone and everyone?" 

"I said you will know when the time is right. Now, all you need to know is that you are meant to be my wife in the future."

I open my eyes and look at him unbelievingly. But before I can say anything more, his lips meet mine again. It is the third time today he has kissed me so passionately and I know he isn't willing to let go.

While our lips are entwined together, I can hear him call out to me. "Shengyi, isn't this ample proof of my feelings for you? I can't take my lips off you, and I can't wait till you are mine. I could do more and force myself on you, but why do that, when I know your feelings for me?"

Nothing stopped me from kissing him back heartily when I heard him say what he just said. From this point onwards, I knew the answer in my head.

I wanted to be his.