Insecurities

Hearing the soft breathes and feeling the tension leaving the body laying against his. Julian carefully removed Raynare's arm from around his waist and got up from his bed.

Staring at the now sleeping form of the so fragile-looking girl for a bit, Julian's gaze softened just a tad before hardening.

Hardening not at her but himself. 17 years was a relatively small period in the scheme of things. But it was plenty long enough to almost lose sight of himself. His humanity... It had decayed much over the last years.

Putting a pause to his thought process, and not bothering to dress up yet. Julian put on a sound barrier around his part of the room and proceeded to practice every single move from every martial art he had ever learned. Not at a normal speed though, but at around half of mach one speed in the hope to relieve some of his recently get pent-up stress. By the way, the speed of his practice wouldn't affect its effectiveness as long as his mind could keep up. So why wouldn't he possibly make use of his speed for training?

As he was mechanically going through every move and putting his entire strength behind each one of them. The sharp sound of whistling wind and occasional sonic booms only he could hear resonated through the room.

Spreading his still one pair of wings and trying to assimilate them in his practice, Julian quickly came to use them for blocking moves, bashing attacks, and assisting his body weight in every one of his movements.

Finishing a complete set of movements after a whole thirty minutes so much there was in his repertoire. Julian then played around with all his magic, trying to come with new uses for them and improving his already great control over his energy.

Already feeling much better about himself, Julian destroyed the sweat on him and dressed up in his school uniform. Throwing one last glance at the still sleeping Raynare, Julian left for downstairs.

It wasn't that obvious when it came to Melissa's case, but it became grossly so when it came to Raynare's situation that he was more and more doing whatever he wanted. It was okay in itself, but not when it came to playing with others' life. It wasn't who he was, not how he was brought up.

At this particular thought, Julian felt a sting in his heart. A feeling that came and went in a blink, so he didn't delve into it more than that.

Anyway, if he didn't want to stray from his humanity more than he already had. He would need an anchor, something, or someone, who would know of the entire nature of his being and put him back on track if needed.

A role that was taken upon, for an unknown reason, by Kass previously.

It was good, as maybe he would have gone deeper in the rabbit hole if not for her intervention. But he couldn't possibly rely on her for it, as one, it would indebt him even more than before. And two, he was almost certain that what happened was a one-time thing. He heard it in her voice earlier, the subtle warning underlying beneath it.

To what end was it for? He didn't know. But... Julian had the strange feeling he would know soon enough.

As for the person he would put as his anchor, he had the perfect candidate sleeping in his bed.

He said he would give her a chance, then that would be her chance.

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Arriving in the kitchen where he saw his parents already eating breakfast, Julian absentmindedly took a seat and began eating the pre-made breakfast his dad cooked for him every morning.

He was currently pondering on something concerning his parents, but it wasn't something he had the time to think deeply about before his dad spoke happily to him.

"Good morning, son? Why don't you finally tell us a little about this girl you brought home yesterday? And more importantly, did you use protection?" Jacob asked with wriggling eyebrows and a lewd smile.

"Ouch! I was just kidding, no need for domestic abuse!" Jacob half-huffed half-yelled in indignity as his waist was pinched by Kassidy who only rolled her eyes in response.

Focusing her gaze on Julian, Kassidy continued for his dad. "Still, is something the matter? You seem bothered by something, is it related to the girl?..."

Pausing for while Kassidy eyed Julian from up and down and said suspiciously. "Did YOU forget to use protection?"

Smiling a bit at their antics, Julian shook his head and answered. "It is partly about the girl, but no. I just need to tell you something that will probably change everything, for you two that is."

His parents meeting eyes in a questioning manner, they both shrugged a moment later and crossed their arms, all of that in a frankly freaky synchronization. Jacob stated for both of them. "Go ahead, I doubt anything could surprise me or your mother anymore with you around."

Julian only raised his brows in skepticism and accepted the challenge.

Spreading his wings for maximum dramatic effects, he said simply. "I'm not human, and magic is real." Summoning a ball of light in his palm, Julian waited for his parent's reaction.

And it came soon enough.

"You have a portable light at all times on you? That's so useful!" - Kassidy

"Hey, that's pretty cool. Can I get wings too?" - Jacob

Grasping his chest in pain, Julian now knew why the expression of feeling like throwing up blood existed.

This was probably the most damage he had ever received in this life.

Anyway, Julian was still a bit perplexed by his parents' reaction.

"You know I'm not kidding right? It's not some prank I'm pulling out for the fun of it."

Jacob scratched behind his head while Kassidy put a finger to her cheek and tilted her head in a pensive manner.

Jacob opened up, saying uneasily. "We know you're not kidding Julian. You're not the kind to pull out pranks. Well, not on us at least..."

Clearing his throat and receiving a nod from Kassidy when he threw a glance her way. He resumed. "Anyway, we're not blind, son. Since you came into our lives, way too many strange things would happen around us. Putting your abnormal talent for everything aside. There would be times when you disappear from your room without any traces and reappear back later like nothing happened. Or when you would enter a room with your eyes already on us, pretty creepy by the way. And the most obvious thing would be related to the day you were dropped at our doorsteps."

Just as Jacob was about to continue after taking a breath, he stopped and looked toward Kassidy as she touched his shoulder with her hand in an indication that she want to take over.

"Indeed, plenty of strange things happened that day... Firstly, when we asked around in the neighborhood if someone ever saw the instant you were deposited in front of our home. Nobody remembers even seeing anyone with a child roaming around at the time. Something that is not that strange overall. But..."

Beginning to shake from emotions and tears leaking uncontrollably from her eyes. Julian watched as his mother face's contorted itself into a happy but bitter smile. Even Jacob's eyes reddened at all the feelings the topic she was bringing up invoked in him.

"We... *sniff* We were never believers before. And we still aren't, but... *sniff* We sure were a hairsbreadth away from becoming ones when you were delivered to us just a day after we discovered we could never have a child of our own. It's just, you know..."

Jacob took over when Kassidy couldn't follow up in sheer emotion from what she wanted to say next. "Yo... You just have no idea how much it meant for me. For us... To have you sitting there in our time of need. Like life itself took pity in our plight."

Trying to maintain a little of his composure before his son, and failing miserably. Jacob smiled wrily. "I know it's kinda out of nowhere, and I think I can speak for both of us. But when we saw this girl with you last night, we realized that we were a failure. Not because of the girl. But because we don't know shits about you."

"We don't know about your dreams, we don't know about your wants, we don't know about the kind of things you like. Hell! We don't even know why you do half the things you do!"

Letting out a little self-loathing laugh, Jacob shook his head sadly. "You never needed help for anything. You... You always seemed to know where you were going. You always picked up things at the fastest of speed."

Jacob's puffy eyes met with Julian's for a moment to afterward turn it away in shame and clenched his jaw. "I... I shouldn't bring it up to you. But I... I always felt like I was kind of useless in the family. Your mother's at least trying to make the most out of your gift. But me, I was just cooking and cracking jokes in the background, for 17 years it was all I did... I mean, what purposes did I fulfill for you? A father is supposed to be a model for his sons, to teach him how to be a 'man', or at least interest him in sport. As for me, I'm not even good enough to give you si..."

Julian immediately disappeared from his side of the table and reappeared between both of his parents. Surprising them and at the same time stopping Jacob from finishing his sentence.

With a furious expression and glassy eyes. Julian forced himself to not scream and looked at both his parents. "Shut up... Both of you..."

Julian poked his father on the arm and firmed his gaze. "Especially you, you are saying such crap that it hurt me physically."

Julian took multiple deeps breathes to calm himself while his parents were still shocked by his outburst. His eyes finally softened, letting out a few tears in the process from the raw feelings he felt right now.

"Just to be clear, I'm not angry at you. I'm angry at myself, because this situation, it's my fault."

Just as his mother was about to open her mouth both in protest and to interrogate Jacob, his father as for himself still too ashamed of what he had just done. Julian interrupted her. "No, I don't want to hear anyone saying otherwise. You both aren't aware of much too many things to make a sound judgment of the situation."

Closing his eyes, Julian wiped the few tears he had on his face. "I can already see the root of the problem, and it's in how raising me is not a typical process for multiple reasons. But above all, it's because I didn't realize how you two wanted to feel that you were doing a good job as parents and that you were useful."

Julian opened his eyes and said softly. "So let me say this, you are both the best parents I could have hope for."

Seeing as how they didn't seem convinced at all, he smiled a bit. "Don't believe me? Then let me tell you why you should..."

"You put a roof above my head... You put plenty of food on my plate... You put clothes on my back... You pay for my education... You pay for my hobbies..."

Slowly enunciating each word, Julian kept on. "You both trust me unconditionally... You are there for me if I ever need you... You support me in everything I do... You let me have my own space... Yet despite all of this, I also know you both wouldn't hesitate to make me hear an earful if I ever did something wrong."

"And most importantly, you both love me."

Julian laughed at his parents' disgruntled faces. "It's not important if you were useful in making me the person I am now. What matters is that you are here, right now, for me."

Julian took his mother in a hug as she threw herself crying at him. Julian took upon a darker look when he threw a look at his father for multiple reasons. "As for you, it's even more my fault, so I'm sorry. But it's not important anymore. It's obvious for me that you want a more normal experience at parenthood..."

His mother forced his confused father into the hug, she sniffed a bit and wiped her eyes while saying softly. "It's okay we were thinking about adopting another child for quite some time now..."

Jacob, who had rapidly retaken his composure and was a bit embarrassed about hugging his son that was taller than him. Teased his wife jokingly in a bid to lighten the atmosphere. "Well, congratulation dear. It wasn't as if it was supposed to be a surprise."

Her face getting a blank expression for a second, she then shrugged and told Julian. "Well, surprise I guess."

Julian just rolled his eyes and smiled only to frown a moment after. He had the expression he was forgetting something.

Then, shrugging much like his mom, Julian spoke to both of them hesitantly. "You know, we were speaking about magic and all. So I think it would be possible for your infertility to be healed, dad."

Jacob and Kassidy widened their eyes a bit both in disbelief and hope of the possibility. The former asked in a low voice for confirmation. "Yo- you're not kidding, right? You could seriously heal me?"

Julian then thought about it, healing something like biological impotence should be pretty easy with magic, right?

Just as this thought passed through his mind, an ethereal voice he heard just a few hours earlier denied him in the form of a whisper.

"No... Unfortunately, it's impossible to heal your father. Not with anything other than a wish made out of existence energy..."

Julian closed his eyes and clenched his teeth so hard you could hear them make small creaking sounds. Accelerating his perception of time to the maximum so that his parents wouldn't notice an abnormality in his behavior. He asked in a voice that sounded almost mechanical even in his mind. 'Is it... Because of my own... Wish?'

The goddess of death didn't say anything for what seemed like an eternity to Julian before answering. "Yes..."

A pure feeling of wrath building gradually within his heart, directed at no one other than himself. Julian was on the point to go on a red-filled 'walk' outside before, like a bucket of ice-cold water, Kass intervened with the right words.

"There is still a way, Julian. I think you are ready to begin fulfilling my favor, it is also directly related to the way to heal your father... Are you ready?"

Not responding for several seconds, Julian gained a neutral expression and responded.

"Yes."

"As you wish... My destined..."