34 Chapter 34: Shownu come back to us
Shownu POV
I fall, I fall to my darkness, through my abyss. Yet as I fall, I keep thinking, am I a coward? Did I do enough? Is my pack, okay? Still, I'm Falling; falling I am, falling I was, falling it is. Into a void I go, vacant and barren, warm and frigid, til I hit the ocean, no a lake, no a bottomless trench that just happened to have water.
Shownu: Am I dead? Is this what death looks like? Nothing.
I hold my breath wishing this pit wasn't so endless. Holding my breath, I swim up; there's land up there, land over here, there's land everywhere, that's it heaven must be within a lagoon. I can feel my breath slipping more and more as I swim, creatures begin to swim by me, not fish, memories, that's it, my memories are swimming in here, each one floating around me ever so florescent. Looking at them for a second made drowning feel not so bad, seeing memories of me and my close squad members bond of food, fighting over what boy we like, going shopping together, eating at fancy restaurants, and fighting for each other, memories of moving into wealth alongside the sins, all the times they taught me something I didn't know before, the times they comforted me in my times of need even though it wasn't their responsibility to care for wolves like us, even though they had every right to kill us where we stood they never did. The pain of water infiltrating my lungs and filling my brain resurfaced; as much as I want to, I can't stay here in a prison of memory, so I push my self up; it looks like I have 40 feet remaining until I reach that paradise. Trying with all my might, I begin to notice my memories bright fluorescent light fade the water under me crept in darkness, I look up to see a shadow arising from the island, it's silhouette completely cambering this lagoon. A black mist emerged from the depths swimming hastily projecting terror and hostility I can see my worst memories within them. Memories of before I turned into a wolf as a six-year-old, I could see my father drunk and laid out on the couch, memories of my mother working three jobs to support three people, memories of her coming home to a man who'd put his hands on her, memories of his coffin being buried and how empty his funeral was. The memories devoured me while I swam up, I could feel it trying to push my mouth open so I can consume it. But it was too late. The waves pushed me aside... I've surfaced, my eyes closed as I pulled myself through the sand. I pull myself further up beginning to feel my body, I can tell I'm wearing the same outfit I wore the day of my fathers funeral. I could tell by the button on my chest that hang off, it was an old suite that mother bought from an elderly lady down the road from us, it had imperfections all over, but the button was always my concern, how am I in that suit? I'm no longer six years old. Opening my eyes looking upward, I see seagulls flying over the thick island forest; I coughed up the water then stand on my feet.
Shownu: Why am I dry? Why am I on this island? Why am I wearing this outfit?
Questions I ask myself while looking down the lagoons deep forestry, Suddenly emerging from the distance was two figures one the size of a wolf, a alpha wolf to be exact, and a human, I can't fully see who she is, but I know its a woman in a dress, her face was too far to pick out and her dress was the one my mother wore the day of my fathers funeral, I could tell because it was her wedding dress, it was an autumn themes dress that had falling white leaves down into it, tassels fell down her shoulders. They drifted like water in the wind exactly how my mother's dress flowed the day they got married. The wolf that stood by her side was snow-white, walked with elegance, an inflated chest, and the eyes were ocean blue. Steadily they come closer, and I couldn't do anything but fall in tears.
???: My baby rise to your feet, Mama raised a strong boy.
Mothers calming voice echoed through my ears like a symphony played passionately through an open opera.
Shownu: No you didn't mama I was strong because of you were with me but that was a long time ago, since you've been gone I'm weak, weak for you, weak for my pack, weak for the sins that have tried there hardest to keep us together.
I looked down in shame and dared not to look up.
His mother: No baby you got it wrong I didn't make you strong, you made me strong, you gave me the reason to live a good life, even though I worked all the time, even though I wasn't able to hold you always, I placed my heart in your hands, and now it's time for you to relinquish that love, my child, you're a natural leader, and no one can take that away from you, you're my superhero, but I am no longer here, so it's time for you to be the hero for your pack that needs you.
She pulls my chin up to look at her, yet I closed my eyes because I wasn't good enough for her.
His mother: Now let me see the eyes of the leader I know you are.
Mother moved her hands from my chin to my cheeks as I slowly open my eyes.
Shownu: My one and only son I did everything I could for you to make sure you succeed in life, even when I was at my breaking points I still looked at you and smiled because you were my anchor keeping my on this earth. If j had to relive the torment of your father all over again I would. I'd relive being beaten by him thousands of times over just to witness you sprout into the man you are today.
Mother stared me in the eyes.
Shownu: But mama your gone now, you left me to early. There are so many things I didn't get to show you
Tears ran down my face in streams.
His mother: Your right honey I left too soon but you seen how hard I worked and look at you, you're strong, fast. A leader of a pack. And still you'll forever be my son so remember as long as your wolf remains with you ill always follow behind, my soul will carry on with you through every moment in life, when your weak ill be here, when you're strong ill be here, I'll be here for you when the sun rises, I'll be here for you when the stars fade into the night sky. So rise baby lift up on your feet and show me what a true alpha is, what my son the alpha is.
Mother said wiping my tears off my face with her thumb. I pull myself up face to face with her than hugged her.
Shownh: I love you mama even though our time was short you've made me who I am
I take in as much as I can because I knew this would be the last chance to hug her.
His mom: i neglected to teach you my son and I'm truly sorry there are so may thing that you don't know but I can't explain it now.
She points at the wolf next to her.
His mother: time is running short for me here, baby. I need you to wake up. Your pack needs you right now. If you don't wake up, you'll be pulled with me to the afterlife. Your wolf has granted me this deal to see you one last time, so don't allow this opportunity to wage your will to live.
Shownu: But what if I want to stay with you? Mother, what if I want to be with you?
His mother: I can't take you with me, my love, I can't bear taking you away from a life of happiness. You have a family that needs you; you have vampires and humans that need your guidance. You have places to explore, experiences to share with your family.
Shownnu: BUT YOU'RE MY FAMILY!
Tears broke loose falling from my cheeks again.
His mother: I am, but I am not here, we will see each other again, baby boy and then well be family.
I blink noticing my vision shift from seeing seeing normally to seeing mostly blue colors.
Shownu: What is this mamma?
His mother: I don't know baby
a single tear leaves her face.
Shownu: Why are you crying?
His mother: because I noticed how beautiful you've become over the years and that this is the last time I will see you for a while.
Mother said as blue sparkles begin to engulf us both.
Shownh: last time?
I question before her body faded away.
The wolf howls and within a couple seconds everything around me turned white, my mothers warm embrace faded but her tears stayed stained in my mind. Consciousness, I feel it, seeping from my soul and into my body. Wake up Shownu... WAKE UP!
RRROOAARRR!
Shownu let out a vigorous roar. The ground beneath him shook and rattled in fear. His eyes were as shiny as the rarest emerald green gems. His body began to enlarge stretching and expanding into something different. He was transforming into a wolf but not his regular wolf and not the Lycan that Wonho transformed into before. Everyone slowly turned there heads to see Shownu rise onto his four legs. The wolves began to heal quickly again thanks to the help of an alphas roar.
Taehyung: what... The hell?!
