I LOST MY APETITE

I arrived home feeling very angry and upset. I tried to not let Josh's words get to me but I couldn't help it.

 As soon as I walked through the door, I shut it hard, unable to contain the force of her emotion. I vented my anger on the poor door. 

Julie must have heard the noise as she came out of the bedroom with a baseball bat. " Who is it?" Julie asked with a worried expression on her face, peering around the corner to see who the intruder was.

 She sighed in relief when she saw me,"Oh, it's you," she said, slightly relieved but also a little confused by my behavior.

 "What's gotten your panties in a twist tonight" she asked as she kept the baseball bat on the round table. 

Julie looked at me with a raised eyebrow and shook her head in confusion. "Didn't your meeting with Mr. Romanov go well, dear?" "The meeting went fine," I sighed as I laid down on the couch and put my bag aside.

 "It went great even...I just ran into Josh today..." I paused and took a deep breath before continuing, "And he said...something that ruined my mood." "What?" Julie pressed. 

"It's nothing actually...he's not that relevant,I don't need to worry about him" I trailed off as the memories of Josh's hurtful words weighed heavy on her mind.

 I abruptly changed the topic, eager to move on from the unpleasant encounter with Josh. "Is there any food? And it better not be Pizza" I asked, as I was very hungry and hoping it wasn't pizza. 

Julie chuckled softly in response. "There's leftover rice," Julie said, "You just have to microwave it.

" I made her way to the kitchen but felt a gnawing sensation in the back of my throat and a growing feeling of nausea wash over me as I awaited my microwave dinner. 

With the microwave's gentle beep, I retrieved the meal but found my appetite had vanished. "Uh...I was hungry just a minute ago..." I mumbled to myself sadly.

 I covered the food before heading to the living room to watch television. "

Why aren't you eating?" Julie asked. "I just don't feel hungry," I explained, my attention focused on the television"And I'm feeling a bit nauseated, too." I added.

 " Maybe you're just stressed out," she said. We settled in to watch some television shows in silence. ******************** After watching all the episodes of Euphoria and Scream Queens, Julie broke the silence and said, "I can never get tired of watching you," to the television screen which sparked a fit of laughter from me. 

"Me too...Zendaya and Chanel are icons for real" I added as I stretched my already stiff bones. With a yawn, I decided it was time for me to head to bed. 

"I think it's time I retire to bed," I told Julie, "I'm so tired." "Good night," Julie replied as I got up and headed off to my room.

 After taking a quick shower and putting on my pajamas, I threw myself onto the bed, and before I knew it, I was already fast asleep. °°°°°°° I suddenly woke up in the middle of the night with a feeling of nausea and a queasy stomach. 

I quickly made my way to the bathroom and emptied my stomach contents into the sink. After rinsing my mouth with water, I looked at myself in the mirror and wondered what was wrong with me.

 As I checked the time on my phone, I realized it was 3:34 am. "I don't think I'll go anywhere tomorrow" I said to myself but groaned as I remembered that I had to visit my mom this afternoon or in the evening.

 I laid down on my bed and stared at the ceiling, unable to fall asleep again. After tossing and turning in the bed for close to 2 hours, I was finally able to get a few hours of sleep, but I was still feeling uneasy and sick in my stomach. 

I hoped that I would feel better when I wake up in the morning. I was rudely awakened by a cacophony of bird chirps, and I quickly covered my ears with the pillow to block out the loud noise. 

"Shut the f*** up, you stupid birds!" I shouted at them, Thankfully, the birds decided to stop their singing and I was able to get another 3 hours of sleep. 

I finally got up as I lazily dragged myself to the bathroom and brushed my teeth in an effort to get rid of the foul taste in my mouth caused by the nausea of the previous night.

 I slowly made her way to the kitchen and upon reaching the fridge, immediately spotted a note taped onto the door. "I'm off to work," the note read, "There's cereal in the cupboard xoxo Julie.

" A slight smile formed on my face as I remembered when my mom used to do the same thing when she wasn't on the hospital bed struggling for her life,which made me feel a sense of gratitude and warmth. 

I opened the fridge to get myself an orange drink, feeling a bit more at ease and happy. I decided that I'll go to the hospital a little earlier than planned. 

I poured myself a glass of orange juice and decided to make a sandwich with it, taking both the drink and food to my room. 

After settling in with my snacks, I opened the new book I had just purchased with my little spare savings "It Ends with Us" by Colleen Hoover, a book I had discovered through TikTok recommendations. 

I started reading and soon became engrossed in the story, eager to see how it would conclude. I've always loved reading from an early age,my mom would always make sure that I got a new book every week when I was little.

 I was so engrossed in the book that I quickly lost track of time. After a few hours, I realized that it was getting late and decided to pause reading to take a break. 

I washed my dish and glass in the kitchen sink before heading back to my room to get ready for my upcoming visit to my mom. 

I quickly dashed into the bathroom and took a shower, washing off the stress and anxiety from the previous days. 

Once out of the shower, I tied my hair up into a messy bun and put on a simple floral knee-length gown. 

I then applied some gloss to my lips and picked up my phone to call an Uber to take me to the hospital. Once the car arrived, I checked myself once more in the mirror before stepping outside, locking the door behind me.