1 The beginning.

(The start will be a common cliche one because I couldn't think of one)

Here we go~!!-

Well, hello there. Welcome to my jumbled mess of thoughts. Hope you had a toasty arrival. You must be wondering now that who the hell is this dumbf*ck? Well, my name used to be Damien Andros. I know, a very cool name that sounds like it came from a main character of some typical wish-fulfillment fanfiction. Unfortunately or fortunately not.

I was just an above average person with a cool name. Yeah, I feel bad for my name as well. Poor thing, couldn't get a better bearer of it. Anyway, as I was saying. I was an above average person. But you see, I was not so average when it came to my imagination and getting distracted.

I wish I could be so less talented at something so useless. Then I might be able to become better than I already were and live a more fulfilling life than I already have. huh? you think I'm being greedy and ungrateful? So you don't want a bigger penis than your already average 5incher?

Thought so! So don't judge my regrets. Again, anyway, as I was going through my pretty boring life I stumbled upon something. A stray dog living outside my house. Little shit liked to shit right outside my house which caused my distress to increase alongside it's barking towards the other stray dog-gangs.

So one night after a sorrowful drinking session I was returning home. I was deadbeat drunk. Yeah well, try drinking 2 bottles of raw whiskey as a venting method. I promise nothing will go wrong. I swear!

So, as I was going to my house with stumbling steps, I accidentally stepped on some fresh dog poo right in front of my house gate. Surprise surprise,~!! I fucking slipped. And what did my head land on to? A fucking brick. That was okay. I could be saved. But no! Everything has to fuck me over. My neighbors went to a wedding that day. So I was literally all alone, and left to die from blood loss.

And that my friend, is how I, the great Damien, perished.

Hmm, I wonder why I feel the sudden urge to close my non-existent eyes and why do I feel a sudden pull? huh. A thought for later. Time to sleep~! See you lot on the next episode of dragon ball Z!!!!

Wait- huh? I didn't get the DBZ world ticket? And instead got a webtoon one? FU~CK~!!!!!!!!!!