The Stillness in the steady quiet .

As I held my Diary between my hands and started to journal about my busy crazy morning adventure , I sighed in relief for the blessing of still being alive and closed my journal, and just when I was about to put it back on the shelf a paper of a painting dropped on the ground .

I kneeled before myself and grabbed it only to see that little painting I once did of me and ...my Ex _crush .

The Stillness I felt when I looked at it , the feelings related to that incident, the heartbreak , everything was Still but I moved on .

Except, I went to the special section of Atlas and decided to give it a little look back to what I journaled back then to three years ago .

✨" Dearest Soul secrets keeper , I know it's so random and crazy , but just when I thought it's over and it's been a couple of months since the last incident when I said I would move on from Atlas ... it's kicking again . I haven't seen him in months , I haven't heard a thing about him , I haven't talked to him , but then why is he still invading my thoughts day and night ? why do I still wish to randomly bump into him outside!? Why do still switch places from left to right in the bus just so when we pass by his place he might see me ?! why do I still create fake scenarios of us meeting and mostly talking it out !

I feel like there's a rock in my heart still blocking me from moving on from him and instead of facing it and melting it I jumped reality and pushed it to the back again ...I need closure and the only way to find out is by doing the obvious that was scaring me for a while now, going there and seeing him myself.

It's Finals season again , and Today I am meeting with my friend and her sister and bring them home with me , so what an opportunity, I talked to them about my Still Feelings for Atlas and decided after all these months of disappearing without a clue to appear again at his workplace, that supermarket, and at his old shift time and I prayed the whole way there while it was raining that he would be there and we get to interact .

So we arrived , and I was nervous but as the adrenaline kicked in I could feel less of it . So we entered and at the first look I didn't see him , and at the moment I put my bag at the entery and look up I saw him appeared out of now talking with his friend who was clearly asking him something about work and looking at me with one eye closed , his arm to the back of his head and his posture! his posture was everything haha ...he looked surprised though . But the rest of it was just him suddenly appearing where we were and I didn't wanna take anything for a hint , But honestly, on my way back home I was happy , not just happy for that but because I felt a bit relieved that I showed up after the cursed incident and he saw me ...But now that scary feeling is back ...the desire to go back again and see more of him " ✨

I finished reading that day with a smile all over myself . My twenty_one year old self really liked the guy , she did unknowingly as she was trying to deny it claiming it was only a soul connection and nothing romantic . It was that day I realized I liked Atlas more than I thought .

Silly little me .

It was already 8:00 and I knew it was time to start my day in my bakery and do some creativeness .