A Shaking Heart

---Born as the middle child of a peasant family in the Belica Empire, Raul Durand was given a second chance at life after dying, as Isaac Brenton.

Located in the furthest north part of the Simus continent, it was a large and developed country. A nation that received immigrants all over the year, as it was a highly commercial nation. Elves, dwarves, humans, it didn't matter to them. His parents were immigrants to this country too, coming from Locus, a small and poor nation to the east.

Born in such a situation, Raul got quickly used to the feeling of hunger and cold, as well as to the frustrated and tired expression of his new parents.

He didn't receive proper education in this world and was essentially illiterate. Since his 'advanced' knowledge of his past life didn't help him, he decided to start working to feed his brothers and sisters.

And that's how he lived for a long time. He worked in many jobs, mostly physical, and was able to feed his family. His parents and older brother looked ashamed but didn't dare to stop him. They knew better.

Raul had long since accepted the reality of his second life, and so wasn't bothered by it, no matter what job was given to him.

It was when he was 13, that a light of hope finally appeared in his life, as he discovered his younger sister was a genius. At the age of only 10, she was able to cast <Aqua Sphera>, a basic offensive water spell.

However, that was enough to impress him and his parents.

'If she can become a Royal Magician, or at least a Royal Knight, then we can get out of this shitty place.' That thought came to his head.

And so, at 14, he joined the mercenary corps to pay for his sister's education.

His parents objected adamantly but were eventually persuaded by the basic salary and the privileges of a mercenary. He promised them he would only take on safe jobs, as to ensure his own safety as well.

And barely a few months after, a war between Belica and Sacrada broke out unexpectedly, catching him completely off-guard.

He had never heard of any ongoing conflicts between the two, in fact, as far as he knew they were allied countries that dealt in goods to each other.

And to mess with the country that was under the protection of the Saintess like Sacrada, there was nobody crazy enough to do that.

Nobody, except the queen of Belica, Melty de Belica, or so he heard. A seemingly hot-tempered woman who became queen by, as the rumors say, killing all the other heirs along with the previous king.

It was this completely irrational decision, that would start the spiral of tragedy in Isaac's life.

Becoming a foot soldier, Isaac held no authority, not even over his own life. Had he deserted the battlefield, he would be hunted down and would've put his family in danger, as he's seen happen to some of his peers. So he did the only thing he could: send his family most of his salary to pay for his sister's school and their food.

With each passing battle, Raul's sense of self deteriorated further, the horrors and cruelty he had seen on the battlefield had slowly aged him beyond his years. The grit and grime of the battlefield clawed at him as if it were conscious, a tragic reminder of the things he did and the things he saw.

Battle after battle he'd find himself stained and bathed in the blood of his enemies, and he felt his identity as Raul slipping away. He could no longer carry that name, the name of a man who had known nothing of the brutal realities of war. It was only in embracing his new self that he could confront reality head on, shedding away his former self as Raul.

He learned what it feels to be overwhelmed, to feel like you're going to die, and that there's nothing you can do.

That hopelessness and despair, he always felt during every battle.

And now---

''Rrhaaa...!''

It was more present than ever.

He smoothly dodged the incoming sword.

He stepped forward, gripping the wooden handle of the halberd tightly between his hands, his eyes locked onto the armored man in front of him. With a swift motion, he pulled the weapon back and lunged forward, slicing through the air in a deadly arc.

The blade struck the man's skull, generating a sickening crunch and tearing through skin and bone. The blood and grayish brain matter went flying through the air, and the man's face split apart, his eyes rolling back in his head as his body fell limp to the ground.

The battling knights moved in a frenzy around him, but for a moment, all he could hear was the sound of his own heartbeat as he looked at the man's body.

''Shit, how many are the-----''

His words were cut off, as a sword came swinging toward his stomach from below. He dodged the incoming sword by jumping backward. Tightly gripping the handle of the halberd, he lowered himself and pushed the spearhead of the halberd forward, crashing against the man's helmet and penetrating through his skull.

---Right now, he found himself in the most hopeless situation he's ever found himself in, fighting against Sacrada.

It had been probably only a few minutes since the battle began, but they were already being pushed back. During the first minute, it was obvious they would lose. Despite managing to break the formation of the cavalry, it soon became a chaotic free-for-all where most of his plan had been ruined. The only reason for him knowing they haven't yet lost were the erecting fire pillars that spread throughout the battlefield, showing at least some of the magicians were alive.

Suddenly, a spearhead appeared in his field of vision, snapping him out of his thoughts and threatening to stab right through his skull. With lightning-fast reflexes, he deflected the oncoming spear with his halberd and effortlessly threw his attacker off balance. Stepping in he pushed the halberd forward and stabbed the man in the throat.

His body fell to the ground and his disturbed breathing caused bubbles to come out along with the blood. Isaac looked away with a dark expression on his face.

''Shit, there's no end to them...''

He wiped the blood from his face and thought as he viewed the battlefield. If things kept going as they were, they weren't going to last very long. The enemy outnumbered them by a large margin, and most of his troops were inexperienced knights.

There was only one light of hope in his troops.

''<Ventos secare!>''

A woman's voice echoed, and his spiral of thoughts ended abruptly. He found his body stunned for a second, as a powerful gust of wind washed over his entire body.

It seems he was exempted from the true power of the spell, as the body and limbs of several people around him had been cut by the powerful wind. They writhed on the ground, holding their fallen viscera and exposed muscles with their hands, helplessly trying to put their bodies back together.

In the distance, he saw the trembling figure of Ana. She was looking towards him, with wide open eyes, showing just how much horror she saw in these last few minutes.

'Scary...' The thought entered his mind, before returning to his senses.

He took a deep breath, but before being able to finish, he was interrupted by a dagger coming toward him from the side.

'Shit, I can't dodge it!'

Barely being able to react, the dagger cut horizontally through his right arm, creating a large crevice just below his shoulder, from which blood gushed out. If it weren't for his armor, he was sure the wound would've gone even deeper.

He moved back to gain some dostance, but before being able to catch his breath, a kick came whirling toward his head.

The attacker's heel landed brutally on his ear, throwing him off balance and filling his head with a deafening, screeching sound that rang obnoxiously inside his skull.

'What the hell was that?!'

Regaining his balance, he looked at the person in front of him. There stood a beautiful bronze-skinned woman as tall as him, with jet-black curly hair that reached her shoulders. She wore the typical iron armor for a knight. She held daggers in both of her hands.

''...Fuuu,''

Isaac took a deep breath and released it, stopping the shaking of his hand. Although he was still terribly shaken, and he couldn't hear from his left ear, he regained a bit of calmness.

'I have to make this quick.'

Isaac switched the position of the halberd, instead of the typical front-facing middle guard, he lowered the position of the halberd, in a way the blades were almost touching the floor. A low-guard.

The woman looked confused for a second, before jumping forward to attack.

''---?!''

As she rushed toward Isaac, the halberd was suddenly swung in a vertical arc upward. She froze, and threw her head back to narrowly dodge the halberd, which just barely grazed her chestplate.

The halberd hovered menacingly above her head and hreatened to strike down, but Isaac's arm failed him. Noticing his struggle to properly react, the woman seized the opportunity and charged forward.

Isaac was helples, unable to dodge the strike. The blades struck and crashed against his lower abdomen and tore through the weak and battered armor.

The force of the impact sent his body flying backward, with agony and stinging pain wracking his entire body as the shattered iron dug into his skin.

''Ghh...''

'This bitch, she's a fucking monster!'

Since he wasn't in a position where could make large movements like before, he decided to change his approach.

Regaining his beginning stance, the halberd now returned to its typical front-facing position.

He stepped forward and attempted a piercing attack. The woman changed the grip on the dagger on her left hand, as a way to parry the halberd upward. Isaac, noticing this, changed his grip on the halberd too. He pulled the halberd back and now held the weapon diagonally, in a way that the axe blade of the halberd now faced the woman from below.

The woman didn't have time to change her attack as she was midway through it, and could only receive the full impact of the halberd. The weapon struck and pushed her left hand towards her and the blade inserted itself into the woman's neck, crushing the meat and bone under it.

Due to the moment stopping for a second, it barely even went halfway through, but that was enough for her to stop fighting

He pulled out the blade of the halberd and stared at the fallen woman, who was grasping at her bleeding neck, having let her daggers fall to the ground.

''...I'm sorry.''

He uttered those words and then inserted the spearhead into the woman's skull.

With a complicated expression on his face, he moved forward.

His movements became more and more erratic as he fought. Due to the injury on his right arm, he slowly started losing his grip on the halberd, limiting himself to parrying and thrusting, as large movements became increasingly impossible.

An enemy soldier came right from the front and attempted to thrust a spear toward his head. He parried the spear upward and then tried to launch the halberd forward, but was stopped as another spear came from the left and was aiming for his lower body.

Seeing this, he quickly changed the direction of his halberd and blocked the incoming spear with the wooden handle, redirecting the blade away. The knight from before took this chance and pushed his spear forward, stabbing right through his armor and puncturing his chest.

'Shit, this is way too much!'

He stepped back and held the halberd in his hands, which had grown completely numb at this point.

'This is impossible...'

His hands had grown numb, his breath started to falter and his legs started to ache. Even if he somehow regained some energy, his body probably wouldn't respond due to how much blood he's lost.

As if time slowed down, he began contemplating just giving up. He fought with all his might, and it still wasn't enough, so what was the point? Pessimistic thoughts invaded his head, and he slowly started closing his eyes, accepting his fate.

But something woke him up, a certain sound. The distant sound of thousands of small footsteps approaching in his direction.

At first, he couldn't quite distinguish what the sound was. It was like his brain couldn't process what was happening.

But then he realized.

'It's... the second charge?'

---His answer came to him in the form of a blinding light that only lasted a second, and then, a sea of red blood that bathed his body.

The light forced him to cover his eyes with his hands, and when he removed them, he saw a familiar scene. There were bodies on the ground, with their head and bodies cut. It was similar to the effects of the wind spell from before.

However, as he looked up ahead he understood it was not nearly on the same level. Unlike before, this was a wide-range attack, killing a large part of the enemy forces.

He was confused for a second. This wasn't the power of a normal witch or wizard. This was the result of extreme talent and power. There was not a single person in his troops who could do that.

''That's...''

''No way...'

He heard the trembling voices of some enemy knights. He looked in the direction of their heads and found the incoming cavalry of Belica troops. He didn't see anything strange, until he saw the person leading them.

It was a man with dark, short hair, and brown eyes. He was wearing a suit unbefitting the battlefield. His looks were completely average, unlike the woman who was riding alongside him.

The woman who was riding with him seemed to be the one responsible for the spell. She had short platinum hair, and she was wearing a shiny silver armor Even though he was faraway, he was shocked by her ethereal appearance. But was even moe shocked when she noticed her long ears.

'An elf.'

''Move forward!''

The man in the horse shouted to the knights beside him. They shouted and kicked their horses to go faster.

In just a second, the entire battle was overturned. The previously excited enemies now had a grim expressions on their faces.

And it was all thanks to that man. Although Isaac was confused, he quicky recognized who he was. He had never seen him, but heard of him before.

''....Lucas Lundberg.''

---A man from another world, and the ''hero'' of this world.

-----------------

''....What the hell''

I tightened my hand into a fist. I could only grit my teeth in frustration.

Sitting in a bed inside the tent, I took a deep breath and tried to relax.

It's been a few hours after the battle ended. I was treated for my injuries and was told to rest for the time being. In a bed opposite of mine was Ana, who became unresponsive after the battle, uttering nonsense after nonsense.

Well, I can't really blame her, she saw her two best friends die, after all.

But still, I was frustrated. Not so much because of my injuries, but because of all the 'what ifs' that I kept playing inside my head.

I couldn't help but think about what would've happened if instead of stupidly charging forward, I told them to retreat. It seems so logical now, but for some reason, I didn't even think of it as an option in my head. As soon as I saw the enemy cavalry, I felt trapped, like I had no choice but to fight.

There was nothing I could do now, however. I already made my decision hours ago, and there was no going back from that. All I could do now is rejoice in the fact that I didn't die.

''...I wonder how my sister is doing.''

I lay down on the hard bed and tried to catch some sleep. Who knows if maybe I'll get deployed to another battle tomorrow, after all.