2 Chapter 2

It was a cloudy day, a day that indicated that things were just as bleak and dull as living in this rundown orphanage.

In my past life I thought that these days were days to laze around and lie in the couch watching TV.

But these days they have a different meaning, they hold a meaning of loss; about how hope can die over a short period of time.

But against this, I try to cheer myself up. I know that I can stay cheerful despite the dampness in the air. I prefer staying by myself reading; I was able to move onto the first tome on mechanical principles.

It's really awesome how I can keep reading this from the library and actually the matron gives had go and get an library card. I have a suspicion that the matron likes me because she knows I'm smart. After all since I'm smart I can do what I want because adults don't know how to handle genius kids. Aside from throwing college level books at them.

It earns me a free pass most of the times. I don't have to do dishes or stay with the rest of the noisy and bratty kids angry at the world. It's good being smarter than every kid in this place.

Today's a Saturday I'm just happy reading the book as to get away from doing chores. I could just syphon through it and remember but I do want to spend my time reading.

The rain cleared a few hours ago, so I had the chance to go outside sit on a bench in the porch that leads to the backyard and read. It's refreshing to feel not glued to a phone, or a computer it's liberating for me to feel this way. Relaxed reading on mechanical uses and principles.

"Chicken Alien Freak." Three shadows are covering my light for reading the sun is barely out not seen by the gray sky the smell of wet dirt makes me feel comfortable a warning as if it was about to rain. But these kids; I hope they don't bother me.

"Molly, what do you want?" I asked as I sighed and looked at the page in my book. 'Page 155.' I looked up to see her, but she seems cocky, even pleased. Alarms sound in my head.

"Well I find out what was that weird looking blue paper on the black pipe thing." She said as she just opened her hand so I could see the lock I use for my trunk, but, its broken, like someone smashed it. I felt my blood run cold.

"This is my lock." She let it fall down to the floor clanking against the creaking wood.

"Yes, hey James are you ready?" James is a kid that is older and bigger than others he's seven and Molly is five but he's a mindless grunt. A stupid kid who is bound to be adopted for following orders to the T.

"YEAH!" He screamed I looked at his direction to see him take out the blueprints and opening them. His gaze is in the mud. 'NO, no, no, no!' I bolted before I knew it, only that as I was running I felt a foot trip me, my footing lost and ended up with me crashing into the mud face first earning laughter but I couldn't let anything happen to the blueprints they're the only thing I can call mine. They've been with me for 10 and a half months.

I stood up, the mud sticking to the pink hand me down dress that is now almost white from the use, weighting me down but I kept going. Not caring for the weight only focused on getting to the blueprints. I reached him my legs and face with mud sticking to them.

"HA! YOU CAN'T GET IT!" James said as he just raised his hand and out of my reach. I jumped and tried but nothing. "Do it James!" I heard molly yell out James just raised his other hand, I heard a crumple.

The blueprints were getting damaged!

I did what came to mind and punched, aiming at the base of his stomach relieving him of any air in his lungs. He buckled over I took my chance to take the blueprint and run but I got reminded that I'm just a small 4 year old.

Grabbing them and tried to run but a punch got me in the cheek, I felt tears stung my eyes followed by pain and ended with me crashing to the floor in the mud. My hand rose to avoid the blueprint getting damaged. 'Ouch.'

"She still protects it." I felt a kick in my stomach probably Molly or one of her goons.

"So lame and freaky."

"She is a freaky alien chicken." Another kid said I opened my eyes as I pulled myself up only to be pushed back to the mud by someone stepping on my back making me fall again face first into the mud. And the blueprints were ripped from my hand.

"No!" I replied but it was muffled by the mud in my face. I removed it fighting against the tears but it was useless, I'm useless against them.

"Oh the alien is crying. A crybaby freaky alien chicken." She said as I used my strength to stand up, which isn't much. My face is in pain; my back is going to bruise, like my stomach and ribs.

"Please don't break them." I pleaded with tears in my eyes; I could feel the rain beginning, small drops landing on my back. I looked up to see Molly holding the blueprints up as James threw a ball of mud at it, and then one at me.

"Please." I begged but got kick to my chest and another one to my ribs, soon the kicks and punches came from different directions, it felt like an eternity since they began beating me up until I couldn't move from the pain.

"I'm bored." She kicked me again making me groan. "She's not moving anymore." Molly said I only had a chance to raise my head and see as she tore the blueprints right down the middle once, twice, three times, four times. The sound of that paper breaking will hunt me, the only thing that I can say is mine, got destroyed by a kid angry because I was better than them. I felt my heart break, as well as my will to do anything, that hope I clung to... just vanished.

That same sound pulled me out of my thoughts as it was ripped again. It got thrown down into the mud right beside me the only thing I could see was the word ARC in bold capital letters.

As the five kids were walking away the rain got stronger, but before they left I received another mud pie to my face. I couldn't believe what just happened. I felt everything dim down, as if everything around me just took a tone of grey, everything looked so dull and empty. I didn't feel the rain, I felt the cold on my clothes, I could feel the pain in my face, arms, ribs, and stomach it was hard to breathe but I couldn't move or scream from the pain. So no one was coming to help me... huh, guess this is it looking straight at the thing that gave me hope. I feel so... numb.

I don't know how much time went by, but I do remember every detail on the mud, how my face felt against the dirt, how my chest hurt as if I was ever so slowly soffocating, and the worst of it all, how everything seemed so... dull. I came to the conclusion that I don't care anymore. I died; maybe I am destined to die once again I slipped through the cracks. So closing my eyes and let the darkness take over me. Maybe this is why I'm like this, death found me and I'm bound to die again in loneliness and darkness.

"CINDY!" I heard the matron's voice behind me, but I didn't move, or couldn't move my body felt only pain. I was only able to groan. The rain was deafening as it fell around me. "SUSAN! GET OVER HERE! NOW!" I heard the Matron call for one of the ladies that work here in making the food.

I felt arms around me I groaned out in pain. "Oh my god Cindy. What happened?" There was panic in her voice but she sounded so distant, I got picked up by my armpits, and my head ended up in her shoulder. I can't breathe which ended in me beginning to cough, something rose through my throat it tasted salty and gross.

"Blue- Ar." Were the only things I could say, the matron stopped, I could feel her head turn around, she knelt down and picked up paper and something plastic.

'Maybe she found them. But does it even matter?'

"Jessica what is... Oh god." "Call 911!" 'So that's her name.' I got passed down from one's arms to others. I felt cold and numb; everything that happened was a blur. I felt everything in pain as the distinct sound of an ambulance sounded in my ears. I began coughing I felt bile rise in my throat and something salty came out again

"Mam, step away from the child." I felt like throwing up again and something was placed near my lips I threw up the same salty taste ended up in my lips.

"We need to move her carefully." I got lifted and onto a stretcher. I think... I groaned as the pain became too much and I began to cry as the world seemed to dim around me.

"It's alright sweetheart." Someone moved their hands through my hair. "It's only going to sting a little just stay with us." Those words sounded comforting. But the doubt in my mind kept me from hearing or understanding.

"Sleep-y."

"Don't talk... stay with us." Something pinched my arm but it was extremely light.

"Shit, she's crashing! Starting compressions." As she said that and a small exhale came out of my chest and mouth as everything turned black.

"Clear!" A sharp pain came over me, as my lungs craved for oxygen.

"She's back, check for damages."

The next few days I don't remember clearly, I remember sleeping a lot, a fever, medicine, the hospital room and finally I came back to my senses. I was able to wake up and able to wake up for a reasonable time. "Ugh." I was finally able to move around long enough to move a bit. A woman entered the room; she's dressed in a light blue shirt and pants with a lab coat as well as a stethoscope. I can finally notice that I have a tube near my nose, and that my ribs are in a cast.

"What? What happened?"

"Your name is Cindy, right?" I nodded at the doctor as a small amount of pain rushed through my body.

"My name is Ashier, I am your doctor. It's a pretty cool name, right?"

"Yes." I couldn't help but answer shyly, her smile softened.

"...What happened to me?" I now realize I have a cast and my nose hurts as well as my chest.

"I have been told that you are quite smart for your age."

"I think so, I can understand basic thermodynamics."

"That is not basic." She smiled as she looked at me.

"Says you." I tried to talk more but my strenght faltered as I began to cough, but my cough didn't stop as I tried to breathe.

"Calm down. Here." She gave me a bottle of water and helped me."Small sips. There you go."

"Thank you."

"Don't talk much. I will explain what happened but I think your tutor should be here any time-" The matron walked in. 'Shit.' I feel bad for her being here, she looks tired.

"Hello doctor. Cindy, it's good to see you in good health."

"Good that you are here, I was about to explain what happened to Cindy."

"Just in time, I suppose."

"Well let's start with the worse." I winced. "You had pneumonia from the time in the mud, an infection in you sinuses from the mud that entered the nose. Those things are the most dangerous ones since you could've died if not treated." I tensed up and breathed through my nose but my throat itches to begin coughing again. "Now, your ribs, every rib has a number you had your false ribs, which are the ones in the bottom." She made sure I was paying attention, I nodded. "Those false ribs on your left side two are broken, while ribs eleven and twelve are broken as well, while ten, six, five and four are bruised. You have to make sure you do not move until they heal completely and I'm not sure if in the future you'll be able to do sports properly." 'It's not like it matters.'

"Those are the bad news?" The matron asked.

"Yes, but one more thing is that the police report that was assigned to this case, I had to tell them everything. These wounds, they're clearly from abuse." I felt the air run cold.

"She's no-" I began coughing and my eyes filled with tears from the pain in my body. I took small sips, both looked at me. "She didn't do it!" I say in between baited breaths. 'What the hell is going on? I'm already tired.' I began panting from yelling.

"Cindy, you should not talk, save up your energy." I nodded as I reclined against the pillow that is oddly comfortable.

"No, it wasn't me. I had to make a few errands that day. I found out that a group of kids in anger decided to take their anger out on Cindy. I did notice that they were bothering her. As if it was only children playing... but-. The kids have been punished accordingly, since they regret it after all."

"I hope the punishment wasn't too lenient. This is a few years in jail, hell even a decade in jail if I'm not mistaken." The doctor is angry.

"Not at all, they have to do chores and have been grounded since they hurt a girl their age too greatly."

"Not sure if what was done is something that I can say is right but I won't argue with you the police will be the one dealing with that mess. I am in charge of making Cindy here, feel better." She approached me. "Cindy, right now I will take your temperature. So please just stay calm and if you want you can sleep. The good news is that you will be alright in a few days, as well as we discovered the bacteria that is making you feel this way and you are being treated. Also your nose was broken but we fixed it in time, so it will probably not scar." I felt my eyes tired and my head began to hurt.

"My head hurts."

"That's normal you have a small fever. Your body is removing the bacteria in your body by raising your temperature. But we will keep you in check in case your fever goes any higher." I nodded lightly and felt dizzy.

"Sleep." The matron said as I closed my eyes and I fell asleep slowly after that.

I was released from the hospital 15 days later. With a notice to come back in 2 weeks. The matron took me in her car and I was seated in the backseat looking at the ground. The card I received from the rest of the kids of the orphanage in my hand. Honestly I just can't care about them, about their wishes, about their get wells. They are so filled to the brim with bullshit. I'm angry and worst of all; I can't express a single emotion except for sulking. The doctor recommended for me to go to a psychologist, but the matron said no as it is expensive.

"Cindy... I'm sorry for not intervening sooner." I didn't answer. "It's just hard; you're the prime example of what a good kid should be. You deserve a happy life in a loving family but know that it's hard living in the orphanage." She sighed loudly as the car kept moving. "I want for you to grow up and be smart and prove everyone wrong, that a girl can do anything she can. I want you to become a role model, someone who came from nothing and achieved greatness." Her speech is inspiring and kinda rehearsed in my opinion, but I honestly DONT GIVE A SHIT. She seemed to catch on that I'm not in the mood. "Don't move too much, and you have to tell someone if your bruises hurt in any way. You will be staying in the second floor; I hope you don't go too crazy from being by yourself upstairs." She attempted to joke but I didn't find it funny.

"It's alright..." I trail off. I was not able to do much aside from sitting in my butt all day and read or watch a movie that I wasn't even remotely interested in.

The thing about pneumonia and broken ribs is that I can't move too much since even showering standing up is an accomplishment. I still get tired too easily and it gets harder to breathe as I do stuff that I would do any other day such as dressing myself, which I now need help from one of the big girls who take pity on me. So for the good part of the month laying down on my bed or a small couch that has the direct view of the window from which I could see the days go by. The life I had seemed a thousand times better, questions appeared in my head "Did that really happen?" Even when loneliness surrounded me, it was a better life since I had those commodities; I tried to commit everything to memory as if convincing myself that it really happened.

During my time recovering from my broken ribs and pneumonia, time itself lost meaning, I didn't think, I was not in the mood to do anything at all. I slept through the days and realized how the orphanage and the days had a dull grey color. My eyes dimmed as everything else just lost meaning, I didn't theorise, or try to come up with stuff to do, it was no use. The only word that my mind kept at hand and would be used in every occasion was "useless". That word bounced around in my head. 'Useless, that's what I am.' Data and research stopped being important, life like this is not life. A person from child services was supposed to come and see the resolution of my case, he showed up and I caught the glimpse of the matron handing him a stack of bills. That action made me realize that this place is a shit hole, and maybe this life isn't worth living in.

I think the Matron, became worried after two months, it's my theory since seeing how I just sat in the living room and stood there looking at the distance keeping my mind in silence. I didn't have a book in hand or a lost in my thoughts look. I just felt worthless, everything was dulled out as my ribs no longer hurt by every movement I made and slowly I could move more.

I think that Molly got scolded as well as the other kids after they got ratted out by other kids who saw what happened, but I didn't get the satisfaction, I couldn't feel anything, no joy, no anger, not even sadness. The word depression bounced around my head but it was ignored. A shadow got cast over me stopping my train of thought.

"Frea- ...Cindy." Molly's voice sounded beside me as I was looking out the window as I have done for the last I think 5 days.

"What?" I asked in a monotone voice that seemed to make her flinch.

"I want to say that I'm sorry for what happened. Can you forgive me?" I wanted to say no, but I just don't care.

"I don't care." I replied in a tone that made it clear I didn't care. Molly flinched her eyes scared and filled with regret as I kept looking at the window, admiring the trek of the sun or the rain.

It was until around 15 days later, I was so dulled out that time lost meaning to me. I felt like a waste of space, nothing I could think of mattered. "Cindy… How are you feeling?" The matron announced her presence as I was seated in the same bench looking at the sky as I did for the last weeks.

"I'm fine, thank you, and you?" I replied in a monotone voice.

"I am good, thank you. I actually bought you this." She said in a cautious and low voice, I looked at her and in her hands was a book that looked way too fancy for something to be here.

"What is it?" I asked her she contained her flinch but I could see her shoulder tense and face harden for a second.

"This is a book called Advance research on electrons and its uses for mechanics." She said it slowly for me to get it or her to read it.

"That's nice."

"Here read it, I know you like reading." She placed the big book in my lap, but I only felt the weight but no curiosity whatsoever to open it, so I just placed it beside me.

"I'll do it later." I replied.

"Cindy, you can talk to me. Oh I also brought you this." She said in a cheerful tone that seemed forced, or not I couldn't tell nor did I care. She pulled the blue tube that stored my blueprints that got destroyed, it was clean. She opened the lid and took out a piece of paper that seemed like the blueprints but the paper wasn't that pristine blue and flawless detail. It had crumples that were ironed but they were still there.

The tears seemed to not be pasted with transparent tape that would one day fall. I felt a tinge of sadness. "I tried my best to repair it, I couldn't do much but I was able to-"

"Repair it." I finished as I looked at the design. The notes were illegible, Howards notes were no longer letters or words . The only thing I could see was the picture of the reactor, which still had brown marks.

"Yes... Cindy," Her voice softened. "I'm sorry, for not protecting you. I was so wrong, I thought that the kids were just bantering and you were strong. I didn't think they would hurt you that way. Everyone got a severe punishment for what they did. Eventually everyone confessed that it was Molly, and she got punished for it."

"I don't care, they were mean. They destroyed what I could call mine; they destroyed a gift that was only mine. I loved those blueprints and they destroyed them because it made me happy. I loved them, they were so beautiful and because they thought I was happy destroying them would make them happy. Who enjoys watching others suffer?" I yelled out as I felt tears in my eyes.

"Everything seems like it doesn't matter! They chanted useless to me, they said that I'm a freak and I won't ever find happiness." For the first time in weeks I cried I felt something. "Those blueprints were the only thing that gave me happiness. Now nothing matters, everything is so meaningless, like me I'm just a waste of space! I don't care if I die, I don't want to die but I don't care! Maybe dying is the right thing for me to do!" I yelled out in pain from all the sadness and numbness in my life.

"You're a good kid, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Death is not the answer, you have an entire life ahead of you."

"I'm a good kid? Then why am I not getting adopted..."

"Because people are stupid, now don't cry, make yourself presentable and follow what I say and you might get adopted." I sniffed at her. "Really?"

"Yes, just don't ever change how you are. You can get far one day." I cried for what felt like an hour, I remember falling asleep after that.

I felt a little bit better, not much but my curiosity hasn't even made me open the new book. I feel numb. "Cindy." I heard the matron call out to me. I turned from the window which is raining; I'm trying to process how everything changed.

"Yes." This time I had more emotion on my voice.

"Today is your birthday." that caught me off-guard.

"Really?"

"Yes, I assumed how you weren't happy today."

"I'm sorry, I forgot... I am processing everything, thanks for the wishes."

"Well, I want to cheer you up. Here, this should help." She pulled out a bunny in a blue suit with a pink ribbon and a light blue shirt.

"A... bunny?"

"His name is… uh... Mister Bunny." She placed him on my lap, his white fur and pink smile made me mimic it, his eyes are black dots but to me they're filled with happiness.

"He looks so... happy." I admitted as I admired him, every detail, everything of him made me feel something other than sadness.

"He is! I bet it's because he's now with you." I looked at her ripping my gaze from the bunny that is around half a meter.

"You think he's happy because of me? I'm useless, and he's smiling because of someone useless... why?" I asked in confusion it doesn't make sense, I've forgotten how it was being an adult. My mind is still playing tricks on me.

"I think he doesn't see you as useless, no, I'm sure he's happy because he can tell that you're not useless. It's up to you to prove him right." I looked back at his face, his small pink nose, his thin pink smile, all combined with an expression of happiness. I brought him close to me and hugged it. I felt the matron hand in my back as I held Mister Bunny close to me.

I pulled out of the hug my eyes stung with the tears, but I could swear I saw the Bunny in a fancy suit smiling at me. 'Maybe everything is not so bad. Yeah, maybe I am not useless. I will prove you right Mister Bunny, maybe I'm not so useless I will become someone maybe not iron man but someone.

Molly got adopted a month after my birthday by a family of people who looked nice, she couldn't meet my gaze. I felt anger at her, anger that I will always store away and never forgive or forget. I looked at the blueprints, they're readable-ish. But thankfully I was able to get a notebook and remake the design from memory I gave it a look and it was the same only thing is that, the original is just trash. I kept the blueprints because they still made me happy and filled me with anger since it was destroyed.

I was also careful enough to have a better lock on my trunk and began reading on martial arts and practicing with the help of books in my free. I was able to learn about kicks and punches, hell maybe I could be like taskmaster and learn different styles by looking at videos or people fighting! But life is still kicking my ass and taking my dreams from me; because turns out the doctor was right suffering from pneumonia and broken ribs at an early age I developed a big problem on my lungs. I can't breathe well enough when I'm doing exercise, then my ribs start to hurt and I start getting tired; in addition to my Asian complexion I'm skinny.

Also that wouldn't be possible until 2008 when the internet had YouTube and a much useful Google. I sighed at how at 8 years old, I had many interviews on potential families, but none of them were interested in me. I was saddened by the rejection when they took the previous kid. I made the belief that if I behaved like a good child I would get adopted. Which led to quite a few… undesirable traits that I developed. Almost like trigger words, would get me to act a certain way, because my obsession to behave and get adopted.

As time passed my resentment grew as my mentality stabilized… not too much. When I get older I will never return to this place, long forgotten was my dream of going to a home with someone who could show me love or care. The matron got colder and colder towards me and the other kids as the years pass. The orphanage slowly got worse and worse, food was slowly going scarce each month. Monthly birthdays are no longer a thing, every holiday has been forgotten and punishments got harsher.

I tried to help other kids to not get hurt, but this box, this enclosed space that I got shoved into, this place I would never wish for any kid to be. It's terrifying a small wood square filled with nails and screws, only darkness, not even a small amount of light comes as this box, I tried punching my way out of this but the chains rattle as a lock slams against the wood. My knuckles are bleeding, my back as well from the stains on my skin. The cold is getting to me. I cried and screamed till my lungs hurt, making sure to not lean on any wall or a nail or screw would embed itself on my skin. The matron just threw me here after she removed my clothes leaving me in my underwear locked in here. Where time lost meaning, only this darkness and cold is deteriorating my health. This is… hell, not even anger is able to maintain my focus as the cold is getting to me. But after 24 hours in this box, I can't even look people in the eye boosting my lacking mental health into even lesser mental stability.

The years went by, I saw kids come and go and bit the bullet for some of them. I faced failed interviews, one after the other and ended up with me crying to sleep. But I pressed on, I read on the research that a certain Doctor Bruce Banner published on electromagnetic fields and the overcharge of electrons giving a higher amount of energy, as well as read the innovation that Tony Stark published and they were amazing. Detailing the functions of complicated things, I was able to keep up with them out of sheer dedication. I was not anywhere close to them since they mastered the entirety of different subjects. I was able to keep myself in the field of electronics and mechanics, they were fun and they made sense.

I was able to after 5 years of gathering materials little by little, I created my ARC reactor, it took me this amount of time because I had a lot of failed attempts which ended with them blowing up or causing a ruckus that landed me no dinner or when something broke in that same that I learned it was a piece of the pantry... after all the gathering of materials was hard. Palladium was the hardest one to get, but I made the calculations enough to get the full idea of replacing the palladium with a different material that wasn't radioactive, because... radiation and that is expensive as hell.

So I ended up with melting 2 spoons that I found out one was made of Zinc Silver, and the other was made out sterling Silver and added a copper wire of around a meter.

I was lucky that no one found out because of the smell, I made the base for the perfect conductive metal for the arc reactor base. It wouldn't corrode because of the Zinc Silver, it would make a conductive material because of the copper, and it wouldn't degrade of use because of the sterling Silver.

Following the blueprints I remember, and doubled the cycles like Tony recommended in Iron Man 2 and ended up with a really powerful flashlight that I now use for reading in the dark. As well as making sure I wouldn't get electrocuted. So I had to wrap it in balloons and pieces of old rubber gloves for insulation and waterproofing it.

The energy it produced is off the charts around it produced a billion kilowatts per hour if I were to modify using the overcharged electrons that Doctor Banner theorizes. It could create around 3 billion kilowatts that's like the 5% of what a hydroelectric plant creates to supply the entire city of New York and that's only with this homemade reactor. If I had money this baby could even make a car work for years.

I could power the entire orphanage for the next 500 years using the same plate that I got to call ZCS element. As in Zinc Copper and Silver. But the matriarch wouldn't let me because it would be dangerous and there is no test for it.

I'm 11 and I already have the most powerful battery in my hands, but it's useless. Even if it were to blow up it would cause a small pop sound and sizzle, the explosion wouldn't be big because I created the countermeasure for it to not blow up, because the energy would only glow.

It is really interesting watching the light glow off of it, the humm of energy flowing, the potential of it, I have to sell it or even install it somewhere. But no one wants to give me a shot at it.

Among other things I got called by the principal to see if I'm interested in skipping grades. I said yes in a heartbeat, I'm sure the matron would be happy to say yes. I only hope that I can get out of this hell I call home and move into a dorm in a university where I can stay.

By thirteen I learnt the disadvantages of being a girl. Which brings me to my current issue. "Matron. I think something exploded inside of me. I'm bleeding and I'm in so much pain." I grumbled out as I couldn't really get out of bed as the matron knocked the door.

"Oh Cindy that is... something... normal... well as of right now you are entering the stages of womanhood." Oh... fuck me... or don't... definitely don't.

"Well I don't want womanhood." I replied.

"I'm sure you don't. But... I sure know what you need."

"Let me die?" I groaned as another wave of pain hit me in the lower section of my stomach. She giggles at my expense as I groan in pain bent over.

"As women, we have to be strong. We have to endure this pain every month." I groaned at her statement.

"I don't want to be a girl anymore." I complained as I felt a flare of pain rush over me.

"Suck it up! Don't be so useless!" That word made me flinch and stand upright. "Just keep in mind that mood swings do happen. Give me a minute and I'll be right back." That was my first experience as a "woman." Later I found out that girls develop at this age, which makes some heads turn to my direction making me uncomfortable, and I hate how everything suddenly matters and a second later it doesn't. AND I HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE...I want to be a guy again.

I learnt that no place is safe for me; last time in life I was not bullied, as I didn't stand out and had a little posse myself. But, this school is definitely not on the same level; but this school… I am standing beside my locker, the thing about knowing and reading on new knowledge that was never published in my other world. Now possibilities here are limitless which is great because I understand it, but my mind is kinda strong (not anymore)... my body on the other hand... is not so... great.

"Hey chink!" I turn around to see the girl who hunts me every single day to make sure I suffer. A dark skinned girl who is probably the daughter of a drug dealer due to the way she expresses herself and the fancy clothes she has contrary to the goodwill things I own; she's with her pair of cronies, standing behind her, making her the leader of said bully squad.

"H-h-hi Sh-sh-shawna." I say awkwardly, I have never been too well versed in talking with people. Not after so many failed interviews, I don't bother myself in learning how to talk to people.

"So Chink, I handed in the homework you gave me. For a Chink kid who is supposed to be super smart, you really are dumb." 'Shit she noticed.' "I'll take your silence as a confession. You gave me a C-, and my daddy wasn't too happy about getting a C-. My record should be B+, not this C- shit." I backed away only to collide against the locker.

"W-w-we-well... I-I-I h-had to make it b-be-bel-believable." I stutter from fright trying to answer back.

"W-we-we-well." She stuttered mockingly. Making the rest laugh, my face heated up from embarrassment. "I think you need a reminder as to why Im in charge here. You think you can make me fail if I get only Bs in my homework and do poorly in the exam. You thought I wouldn't notice? Did ya? Fucking orphan, no wonder you got thrown there." That hurt, she grabbed my cheeks with one hand almost crushing them. "Your face looks tired. Why don't we go to the bathroom and clean you up, I think your face needs washing I can help you." I ended up getting waterboarded on used toilet water as my head kept getting shoved in, I struggled to breathe; after that I ended up getting a black eye. That kept happening through the year; I endured... until I have to graduate in... Two years. I've had more shit in my hair than I ever thought I would ever have and I can't wait to get out of this hell.. My life sucks, most of the times I ask myself, is it worth living like this? Would I be missed? Do I get another chance?

During this time, I found something that makes me happy, turns out a few small stores have videogames, literal game consoles plugged in and you have to pay a dollar for a round or 5 for half an hour. Bad thing its thirty minutes away from the orphanage. Its relieving to have this kind of entertainment, I mean I have a way into another reality I mean Halo 3. I played the story in bits and pieces, I was happy for those times, I got to see one of the best games again. Turns out this place became a sanctuary for my loneliness, maybe one day I'll be able to get this. "Kid, times up. You better get going, its late. Your parents will be worried." I nodded and gave him the dollar I got from tutoring other kids that were struggling academically. I discovered this place when I was 10 but until I was eleven I was able to play for a year I was only a backseat gamer. 'God I'm pathetic.' I shook my head and made myself scarce and moved into a pace to get home while light is still in the sky. This place became a fortress to escape the awful existence I have.

Now at fourteen I had to make a research paper on the museum of bioengineering where the greatest bioengineered creations on the planet were. A museum that worked as a laboratory for research. That was an assignment to fill up my curriculum so I could attend college next fall. Which is supposed to be in 8 months, a year and a half of constant belittling, an attempt to kill myself that ended poorly for me... and, constant rejection from potential families, hell even the kids that were sent back into the orphanage never turned to me, hell I asked a guy and he turned me down.

Walking into the museum a light smile came to my face, something that doesn't happen; remembering of how Spider-man got his powers by the bite of a spider. I was to make a research paper on the museum about the laboratory used and how it was possible to maintain it working through the years. I got the info in a pamphlet at the entrance, and took a twenty minute tour.

But after finishing the tour out of morbid fascination went to the section on animals. Where there was a model of the first cloned sheep. I walked through the fish tanks of fish that got engineered to glow in the dark. Some to target specific plants in their diet, among others.

I eventually reached bugs that can be controlled via electrical waves but it only works on certain bugs that and they are not working correctly as everything seemed in chaos. 'Maybe its controlled chaos?'

I kept walking until I reached the place I had an attraction towards it, 'Arachnids'. A billboard read at the top.

There are three rows of glass cases and a detailed explanation about how these spiders are supposed to be the apex of their species. But one is separated from the rest in its own stand display.

The first case with a spider. 'Nephila Asimi' I leaned in towards the first piece if info near the case.

'Nephila Asimi or also named as Silver Silk Orb Weaver Spider is a GENUS from the Araneomorph Spiders. This spider is a descendant from the Nephila or commonly known as Golden Silk Orb Weaver Spider. This spider has been bioengineered to remove the weaknesses that the ancestor had. This spider contrary to its predecessor has a distinct color to the web which is a bright silver web contrary to the regular translucent web we know.'

"That's pretty cool." I mumbled as I move to the side of the case which has more information about it.

'The Nephila Asimi has shown from the test we made a higher ability in weaving as well as jumping, crawling for longer durations, heal after confrontations with prey such as: scratches, poisons and bites, as well as better reflexes than any other spider in the animal kingdom. While this spider seems to be a promising candidate as an apex predator it doesn't have venom contrary to its relative the Nephila Clavipes or Banana Spider.

Research indicates that this is because the spider has the increase in speed, agility, weaving and the ability to heal since it's own body compensates by the color scheme of black, silver and red at the fangs making it easier to camouflage with it's own web and nature itself. The black color in its body is to scare away predators as black is commonly associated with deadly venomous animals.

The Nephila Asimi captures the prey by attracting them to the light reflected from the webs and with its enhanced strength kills the target. The venom inside the spider is little to none existent but victims caught in the webs are stuck as the web is stronger is it common that victims die after their struggle to get free.' I was about to move on going to the other spiders but a word from the next paragraph stopped me as I read it out of the corner of my eye. 'Failure.'

"What?" I couldn't help but say aloud as the three people turned to look at me. Which made me feel my face heat up.

"So-so-sorry." I stuttered as I returned to read the last of the paragraph.

'After constant observation and testing we have determined that test subject designated as 042, is the only one of its kind that will ever live as it seems that the Nephila Asimi is infertile deemed a failure as a species that could've demonstrated that a bioengineered spider could in fact become a queen of its species as no other Niphila Asimi has been able to be produced even after receiving the same process.'

"So you're a female." I muttered as I leaned into the case to try and see the spider I read about. I tapped the glass twice making the familiar Ting sound.

The spider inside didn't seem to like that as it launched itself at me from nowhere. Making me jump back and bump into someone behind me who was moping the floor I tried to regain my balance by taking a step forward into the wet floor making me slip and accidentally crash into the stand that holds the case of the singled out spider case making it fall, I can see the square glass come towards my face, out of instinct I closed my eyes waiting for the pain but the case broke beside my face.

I didn't see the spider as it fell. Groaning in pain as I tried to remove the stand but it's too heavy. The people in the room and the guard seemed to react fast as they moved to help me and the alarm began to blare.

As they removed the case I got up and a hiss escaped my throat as I felt my ankle give in to the pressure making me stumble but the janitor caught me.

"Be more careful missy." 'I know that voice.' Turning my head to see him I immediately recognize him it's THE man of myth a living legend when I was alive. He has the white hair and brown glasses with the same mustache with grey hairs.

"It's you." I say as I turn to him. He smiles; I can see his eyes through his brown glasses they seem like they're glowing with a weird light.

"Of course it's me, who else would it be?" I stood up by myself with one leg.

"B-b-b-b-but..." I don't know what to say.

"Watch the neck." He said as everything around us stopped moving. I felt a sharp pain on my neck, I moved my hand but I felt how something went through my fingers I could feel how it crawled through my arm. My eyes zoomed in following by the grey, black and red spider as it crawled through my arm but the hold HE has on my arm didn't allowed me to move it.

The spider began stumbling as it reached my hand, until it fell on foot and bit me again making me hiss in pain. But it shriveled up and turned on its back landing on the floor. Dead. He picked it up. I can feel everything, the sweat dripping from my chin. I can hear my own heart as if I was beside a bass at its loudest possible volume. I feel so in tune with my body, my heartbeat is like a drum banging to my chest as I feel the blood run from my heart to my hands and feet, each bump makes me feel that; the hair in my arms and legs makes me shiver. As He lets me go and it's as if time resumes itself people moving once again.

"I don't feel so good." I replied, but he has his brown glasses and is dressed in an blue intendancy jacket and pants.

"Don't worry you'll be fine I'll make sure of that." He said in a confident voice which brought me ease.

"You're him..." He smirked as I touched my neck where I was bitten, taking a step forward my foot making the sound as if an explosion went off and I stumbled as my senses overwhelmed me. That seemed to make him grab me again as to not fall.

"I'm sorry, do you know me?" I turned to him but its not him, he has the same glasses and mustache but he is lankier and shorter he's an entire different person, also his voice is not the same.

"Wha..."

AN. just so you guys know. Every thing said in the story, is made based on research EXCEPT for the Sci-Fi stuff. Every detail regarding, health, mental health and emotional stability is based off of research. Such as negative effects of isolation and abuse.

PS. My writing rule is Show DON'T Tell, this isn't a power fantasy. This is about a character going through shitty life.