Chapter 1 So Damn Tired

In these difficult times of economic crisis, what sort of desperation would drive someone to the point of wanting to die?

There are a lot of reasons, and too many to count, but one of them is definitely this.

To think I would get fired from my job...

Yes, I have become jobless at this moment. My feelings right now are very complicated... Well, of course, I just lost my job; I had some debts I needed to pay, and not to mention I needed to provide food for my elderly mother.

With my abysmal savings or rather, none at all... Things are looking very bad for me.

"Well then... Let's move on from this empty park for now. Staying here any longer would only make me feel more depressed."

Not gonna lie, I'm pretty calm for someone who just lost their job. Anyone would be shitting their pants and panicking, trying to figure out how to make ends meet for next month.

If I'm being honest, yes, I am scared. I don't know what I should do, and I don't have any friends or family who can help me. So, yeah, I'm scared and unsure of what to do, but at the same time, I know that panicking won't change my current situation.

My future has turned dark at this moment. As I walked away from the park, I kept thinking about what I had to do and where I needed to find a new job.

With the money I have left, I have at least two months. It should be enough time to find a new job, right? I'm 26 years old; I can still earn enough money to eat, at least.

Whispering my worries as i walked around with no destination in mind. The evening glow of sunsets is my only destination for now.

What else can I do? Right! I remembered creating a freelance account…I can do some translation work or manage online marketing ads…

Let's do that while I look for a decent job. There's also that new convenience store two blocks away from my house; I'll try going there tomorrow.

"Ugh... I'm so exhausted from this life..."

I let out a tired sigh as I stopped at a vending machine and put some money in. I needed some alcohol right now, but what I chose was just a normal Coke Zero.

This carbonated drink should help me freshen up a little. I opened the cap, took a big drink, and gulped it down in one breath.

The sizzling and bubbling sensation kept attacking my throat as I chugged it down my stomach.

Burp! Burp!

"Ahh... I feel uncomfortable."

I looked around trying to find the trash can, and then I noticed that I was the only person in the vicinity. This place, though not densely populated, should have been quite busy at this hour.

The place where I live is a new complex, so it doesn't have a lot of people living here just yet. But being this empty feels wrong.

I just moved here last month too... I thought I could keep living my life quietly and slowly until I found myself a girlfriend to marry. Well, not to brag but I'm quite successful at my age, so I already have a house of my own; that's why my savings are all gone.

"Haha I just lost my job, what was I thinking? Successful my ass..."

Letting out a snort with a mocking smirk on my face, I crouched down and squeezed the empty can with both hands.

"Those bastards set me up... They want me gone so that they can have all the profits from my hard work."

Working for a shitty company has been truly terrible for me...I should've listened to my mom when she told me that a company claiming to be 'family' was just a bunch of a**holes.

Alas, what has already happened has happened. There's no use crying over spilt milk, as they say.

I can feel some water starting to gather at the edges of my eyes. Aahh... This is just sweat, it's from the long walk.

No matter how hard I tried to clench my teeth, this feeling of hatred and despair caused my eyes to release tears of exhaustion... Yes, these are just the tears of my long days.

"Pathetic… You're so pathetic, Vincent! Don't cry over something like this! Come on, you're stronger than this; you're strong, remember?"

I told myself firmly as I wiped the tears from my face.

After a moment of silence, I took long and deep breaths to calm my raging emotions.

I need to go home; my mother is waiting for me - she should be done cooking dinner by now.

My mother is 54 years old; she's too old to start working again, and will there even be anyone willing to hire her if she does start working again?

You're strong, ME! You can do this Vincent!

With a renewed determination, I stood up while letting go of the can I had been holding in my hands.

But as I was about to turn and walk away, I heard a feminine voice calling out to me.

"Really? You're just going to drop it and walk away?"

The voice sounded clear and pleasant to listen to. It was soft yet soothing at the same time. Knowing that she was complaining to me, I stopped in my tracks and turned around to face her.

And God, how could someone be this beautiful? She has long blonde silver hair, eyes as blue as the deep sea, a high nose bridge but not too high, combined with her thin red lips and milky white skin... She looks absolutely stunning, like a magazine model or supermodel.

She stood at 172 cm, which is quite tall considering she was wearing only sneakers. Despite wearing only a white shirt and jeans, she still looked so damn hot and beautiful.

Her hair swayed as she bent down in front of me, taking the empty can of Coke I had dropped. She then frowned and looked at me with a disapproving expression on her face.

"I know you had a bad day today... But that doesn't mean you can just leave this here!"

She then took the trash to the trash can while grumbling all the while.

Looking at her face, I don't think she looks angry; just annoyed, I think. So I let out a smile and offered her my apology.

"I'm sorry about that; I have a lot on my mind right now, so... Well, I'm really sorry."

She let out a sigh and then shook her head left and right.

"I understand that; just be more careful next time."

"Yes, thank you."

I gave her a short reply with a smile still present on my face. Looking at her made me conscious of my own appearance.

I'm not ugly, but I'm not handsome either. My hair is black and my eyes are dark brown; just an average-looking guy.

Yes, I look average, but I'm quite tall. However 186 cm is considered to be normal in some countries, so I guess I'm just average?

Forget that, just looking at her made my depression fade away a little. That's just how beautiful she is; I can keep my expression on the bright side rather than showing my gloomy and dark one.

"By the way, as I took a closer look at you…aren't you my new neighbor? The one who just moved in, right?"

The woman smiled, probably trying to be polite. And to be honest, I didn't know we were neighbors; well, how could I know when I kept leaving at 5 am and coming home at 8 pm?

So I tilted my head slightly to the right while still giving her the best expression I could pull off right now. Of course, I still held my smile to make sure she didn't feel awkward.

"Really? I'm sorry I didn't notice; I've been pretty busy since moving here and haven't had much time to get out and about. But you'll be seeing me quite often from now on, I guess..."

I let out a small laugh at the end, remembering that I had just lost my job, even though I had worked so hard all this time.

"...You don't have to force yourself...I was watching you from behind that bench over there. Also, don't ask me why I was behind that bench or I'll kill you!"

She pointed to the bench across from where we were standing before looking at me with a threatening gaze.

Her frown didn't diminish her beauty at all; rather, it made her look cute like a hissing cat... I wanna pinch her nose...

It's true that I was forcing myself, but I didn't want others to see my weak side, so I kept my smile and made sure that I didn't slip up and look like it's the end of the world or something; I still have hope right now...

"Haha I'm not forcing myself, I'm alright. But I have to thank you for worrying about me... Thank you."

With the brightest smile I could muster up at this moment, I told her. I don't know how I looked, but I'm sure I didn't look like a loser; not even close.

The blonde-haired woman kept staring into my eyes as her frown became deeper.

"I'm actually a psychologist; I can tell that you're not doing well right now... Well, I won't bother you about it, but if you ever need someone to talk to, you know where to find me - my house is right beside yours, after all."

She smiled and then continued, "I'm so sorry for what happened to you." Her voice sounded worried as she kept looking straight into my eyes.

"Psychologist? I'm sorry if I'm being rude, but how old are you? And thank you for being nice and worry about me."

Raising my eyebrows in surprise, I asked her in disbelief after hearing that she was a psychologist and looked so young. I knew that age didn't matter, but people who dealt with psychological issues were typically a bunch of older people.

Ooh.. her frown and eyes suddenly became more intimidating... I wanted to pinch her nose so bad.. She looked so damn cute right now.

"I'm 28; you can come find me at my workplace if you don't believe me."

"28? I thought you were still 20! You look so young and beautiful; I can't believe you're older than me!"

I spoke in a higher tone than I intended. That just shows how surprised I am; I thought she was younger than me, but she's actually older than me.

Women are a mysterious being; not only is their mind complex, but their aging process is also a mystery.

"What? You're flirting with me now? Looks like you're stronger than you look, huh, tough guy."

A smile graced her sexy lips as her frown disappeared; she then continued.

"By the way, why don't we talk as we walk back home? This beautiful lady will keep you company until you get home… Ah, what's your name? I'm Eliza Claudia, you can call me Liz or Eli."

"Of course, my name is Vincent Alberidge. You can call me whatever you like."

As we walked slowly, we discussed various topics such as our jobs and interests.

She's surprisingly nice to talk to, and maybe it's because she's a psychologist that I was able to open up about myself...

Talking to her made me feel quite relieved… like this pent-up feeling just became lighter or something.

Well, I'm not going to lie, she made me feel better while we were talking about random stuff and mostly myself...

I was so engrossed in talking with her that I didn't even realize that we had already arrived at our homes. Her house is right beside mine, so...

"So you really work as a psychologist, huh? I feel much better after talking with you... So, how much should I pay?"

I said that with a smile that was close to a smirk, rather than a full-blown smile. I was trying to be playful to lighten the mood.

Looking at her expression with a pout and a frown, I am sure that she's annoyed right now... haha, how cute!

"I'm not doing this for the money; you know! You're really ungrateful! But well, I'm glad that you're all right now. Feel free to come to me if you need any help or advice. I live next door, so it's free of charge for you... But I'd prefer if you didn't come too often - I do need my privacy and some time to relax too!"

She said it with a bright and happy smile. I could only feel a good feeling bloom within me after seeing her.

"Hahaha But of course, I don't want to bother you too much. Though, I'll be imposing on you if I do need consulting, so don't give me the cold shoulder at that time, okay?"

"Don't worry, I can be counted on!"

She said it with a wave as she walked to her house. I gave her a small wave of my own as I walked to my home; I'm sure that my mom is cooking right now. I let out a smile with a positive vibe and hope as I opened the door.