Chapter 2: I hate Everyone

Have you ever entered a point in your life where got you hurt and tramped over by everyone around you so much that nothing maters to you no more?

That's me. Emptiness knocked at my door, I denied it, and then he found his way in. He was now taken over my house and made it his own. Hate had been my adversary. Then, I came to realize that we had so much in common. She became my best friend.

Loneliness was invisible to me until this atrocious world stripped away the sunshine from my life. Then, it began to become more and more apparent in my life The dazzling light to my shadows had vanished from my life, and now I'm trapped in utter darkness. That's alright, I've grown used to it. It won't change anyway. This darkness pervaded my mind, prisoned it, then transformed it to which I am now.

I abhor everyone. I abhor myself. I blamed the Gods above for my existence. The hate in my heart is so intense that if I don't regulate it, it will consume me like a black hole.

They speak of "Letting go of the past!" Hah? Just let go? About swapping lives to see how it is. Do you know how many times I have wanted to let go of my past? You don't just wake up and boom, the traumatic past suddenly vanishes from your life.

Then again they talk about "forgiving and forgetting the past" one of the phrases I hate the most. Forgive and forget, huh? Well, I'm just going to pretend I'm not hurt and broken and forced a fake smile on my face, is that what you want me to do?

It's not easy to forgive and forget when you can't look at yourself in the mirror, because you're afraid of seeing who you really are. When these obnoxious voices repeat inside your head like a replay, can you say "forgive and forget the past."

It's not easy to forgive and forget the past when you countlessly spend of nights dreaming about the same thing. Your past.

Perhaps worst of all is when you've encountered the faces of those who have harmed you in the past. While you're stuck in everlasting agony, they enjoy their comfortable luxury life. When you're too hungry to sleep at night, they feast and rejoice all night.

They and their children wear expensive garments, while you wear filthy clothing. You and your ancestors worked hard. What did you guys earn in exchange? Not a cozy home, but a cemetery.

Where's the reward? Is there a God above who witnesses this? When it's necessary, where is justice?

Justice, of course. That coward! He never shows up on time for me. Revenge is the real deal, and he arrives on time. At least he fights back against injustice. You do not know what's LIKE! You do not know what it's like! So do me a favor and shut-up with your "Forgive and forget!"

Most people can agree that "Love" is a strong word, but hatred is stronger in my judgement.

Love, love, love, it's all that they claim is about love. Love, huh? What is love? What is it capable of? Will it cement a broken heart?

Love huh? Are you pathetic? Are you delusional? What is love? Where is love, when I'm broken? Where is love, when my sunshine was stripped away from me, Where is love when I'm on the verge of ending my life?

Somebody is going to say they love, but they're going to be the same person who betrays you. Someone is going to say they love you, but as soon as they figured out you're seriously ill and they are no cure for it, they vanished.

Somebody's is going to say they love you, but they're going use you. Then, when you're of no use to them, they throw you away.

Love, love, love! Like shut-up already!

My mom loved, and you know what happened to her. She got a shattered heart in return. That wasn't enough, so they placed her into an eternal sleep.

I always see her face in the morning, but it's just my imagination playing with me. Perhaps it seems to you that I am merely a mentally ill person? Only mentally ill? Hah!-Hah! In that sentence, you failed to add heartless and cold-blooded ones. "You're a heartless and cold-blooded person."

Then again the world, the place we called home made me like this, isn't that funny?

I hate Love. I hate everyone, and I will never love or fall in love, because that's only for pathetic people.