5 Chapter 5 - Don't Drink And Duel

Jaden Yuki and Syrus Truesdale watched in confusion as student wearing a mustard-yellow jacket that indicated that he belonged to the Ra Yellow dorm make his way unsteadily to stand before the two of them. For a moment, no one spoke as Jaden and Syrus both tried to remember where they recognized the student from, until the wobbling student gestured towards them with a bottle and began to speak.

"Yooooooooo~ wasssup guys! Just what the fuck are you boys doin' tonight~? Pair o' ladykillerz like yous, gotta be picking up chix~ right?" The student, who Syrus eventually realized was that Phil kid from class earlier, spoke with a thick slur, casually dragging out his words like he was without a care in the world.

Syrus flinched. He was still quite embarrassed, after all, with how easily Jaden found out about the love letter from one of the most beautiful girls in the school, Alexis, that had made its way into his locker.

But with how angry Professor Banner was that someone had entered his office and took something without permission, I had no choice but to get bro to help me hide the letter during the search! Syrus cursed his luck, but before he could hastily deny Phil's words, Jaden spoke up cheerfully.

"I don't know much about that!" Jaden scratched his head with a carefree smile. "I'm just helping out my bud Syrus here! Someone in Obelisk Blue wants to talk to him, and I figured it would be super sweet to check out their pad!"

Phil took another step forwards, teetering and almost falling flat on his face before pointing at him with his free hand – one, Jaden noticed, that still had his duel disk strapped to it.

"Fukin' knew it, Casanova over here's gonna get some ladiesh tonight!" Phil sung out, before striking a drunken pose of victory. "My mannn~, I'm rootin' for you! Come'on, I gots you! I'll, I'll…" Phil stumbled forwards, close enough to Syrus that the shorter boy could smell the reek of alcohol. "I'll be yoursh wingman~." Phil took a moment as Syrus tried to process his words, and then turned to Jaden to continue his drunken rambles.

"Haha jusssttttt~ like your cool monshter!"

Jaden gave off an easy smile, nodding and laughing at Phil's terrible joke, before offering the boy his shoulder to steady himself on.

"Alright! Syrus, Phil, next stop, Obelisk Blue!" Jaden cheered, not even noticing Phil draining the rest of the contents of a strong-smelling bottle.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Unnoticed to Syrus and Jaden, a tanned woman in a white dress stood off to the side, watching Phil's antics with her hand massaging her forehead in frustration.

"Lord Ryko…. Just what did I do to deserve this?" Lumina whimpered to herself before picking up the pamphlet that one of her coworkers, Ehren, was kind enough to fax her by spirit mail after the unfortunate phone call.

How to Support Your Reincarnator and/or Transmigrator!

By Minerva

Director of Lightsworn Resources

Judgment And Punishment LLC

© 5 - ∞ J&P

Greetings and salutations, reader! You have been chosen as an important team member in order to give precious guidance to those souls allowed a second chance! This guide will attempt to arm you with the proper information in order to follow the ACT process that will make you a successful member of the cycle! Now, make sure to pay attention!

A: Accustom! Reincarnators and/or Transmigrators can come from a variety of cultures, worldviews, and ways of life. Sometimes that can even mean that they will not understand what is happening! We at J&P LLC have always strived to close this gap by providing instant translation services free of cost, but even then, you as a support staff member may be called upon to assist the Reincarnator and/or Transmigrator in making the shift from their previous life to their current reality.

C: Coach! Reincarnators and/or Transmigrators may not initially understand the importance of the mission that has been selected by J&P LLC. In that case, it is your responsibility as a support staff member to remind them of their important goals, along with advising them in how best to achieve them!

T: Take Responsibility! If the Reincarnator and/or Transmigrator fails in their given task, it is up to you to report to our special Lightsworn Resources Re-Education Camp™! This process is mandatory in the event of failure!

Now, repeat after me! ACT! ACT! ACT! My life for J&P LLC!

Good fortune to you in your endeavors!

Lumina stared blankly at the pamphlet, looking back and forth between it and the slowly retreating figure of Phil, who hadn't even noticed her in the background, with how drunk he had gotten. She could already feel a migraine forming.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Not even an hour later, Syrus and Jaden found themselves under the stern glare of Alexis, Mindy, and Jasmine near the bath that they had unwittingly blundered into. Beside the two opposing groups, Phil vomited for the third time into a bush.

"You've got some nerve to come spying on us!" Mindy voiced her annoyance at the interruption. "With a phony love letter too!"

Alexis snatched the letter from Jasmine's hands, scoffing as she read the contents. "Really! My name's not even spelled right!" Then, she flinched as the sound of Phil vomiting intensified.

"And you! How irresponsible of a student are you to get drunk!"

Phil glanced back, flipped up his middle finger, and shakily wiped his mouth.

"Fuckin' hell. My tolerance has go-" He groaned, steadying himself with his hands on his knees. "It's gone to shit, I tell ya. Fuck! Back in the day I could do a couple boxish in one night! Then a guy takes a few yeeaarrrsss~ break from it, goesh sober, and here we are." Phil groaned again, before finally appearing to give up and flopped on the ground in defeat. "Sorry broskies," Phil sighed. "Guess I'm no good ash a wingman after all."

Alexis stared at the sorry spectacle, and then refocused onto her hastily improvised plan, one created in order to satisfy her own curiosity – a test of the brown-haired Slifer Red's ability that she had noticed in class earlier that day.

"Anyways," She breezed on, talking over Phil's occasional groans. "It looks like this was a setup, but we can't just let you boys off on trespassing in the girl's dorm without permission! Jaden, I challenge you to a duel! If you win, I'll let you three go and drop the matter. If I win, I'll… lets see… I'll tell Nurse Fontaine about you trespassing and let her ream you boys out for good."

Jaden hesitated once the stakes were introduced, but one look at Syrus shaking in fear and Phil's indifferent drunken state propelled him to look straight into Alexis's eyes and accept the duel.

"Game on!"

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Phil was rapidly switching between having a real, real good time, and having a real, real bad time. It was nostalgic, actually. The last time he could remember the drink hitting him this hard was his first time trying it in college. It didn't take long for Phil at that point in time to get used to the affects, but his period of sworn sobriety after he had graduated, mixed with being in the body of a fucking teenager again was appearing to make his experience null and void.

And that, was why Phil only stared blankly up at Lumina, who was crouched next to Phil, half-heartedly attempting to prod him to attention.

"WAAAaaaasssss up homie!" He slurred back to her after taking a second to recognize the duel spirit, happy to finally feel the effects of the whiskey he had chugged after losing his lunch (and all the vodka he had drank) in the bush when his stomach finally calmed down.

"Phillip, you need-" Lumina started off, before Phil raised his finger to her lips with a lopsided grin to correct her.

"Phillip is whash my ma and pa call me. To the ladies~, and to the homies~, ish Phil. You gotsh that? Nowwww~ can you please let me off tha ride? Much spinny, no likey."

"Ugh…" Lumina groaned, but she forced her dwindling supply of patience to hold. "Phil, you need to get up. Those two girls accompanying Alexis are, as you might have missed due to your over-indulgence in adult beverages, challenging you and Syrus to a duel, with the same odds as your friend Jaden faces. I know you aren't… really in good shape right now, but if you somehow get expelled after that nurse is notified, you lose out on many future chances to face Yubel and the Light of Destruction."

"Ahhh fuck o- waitttttt~" Lumina's face tightened into a frown, and then her expression changed into something more neutral as Phil seemed to realize something and bit off his curse. "You meansh I can fuckin' dab on someone?"

She stared into his cloudy, drunken eyes, biting back another sigh as Syrus rushed to Phil's side, desperately trying to get the drunkard's attention.

"Yes, Phil. You can 'dab' on someone." Whatever that means. Lumina replied, stepping back as Phil surged unsteadily to his feet, and leaving the second part of her sentence unsaid.

Yes, you must duel, Phillip. I cannot see if you will be useful, but perhaps if you antagonize those girls enough, they will focus on you instead of that Truesdale boy. Only Judgement himself can tell if that will be enough, though.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Phil activated his duel disk with shaky fingers, happy enough to have a fun little duel while ignoring whatever bullshit Syrus and those girls were yammering about. It was a pity that Phil couldn't recall just what deck he had slid in there last, but it couldn't be too bad, right?

"Let's duel!" Syrus, Mindy, and Jasmine shouted, officially bringing the tag duel to its start. Their duel disks flashed to a simple 4000 life points each, and all but the Ra Yellow narrowed their eyes. Phil, however, focused instead on draining the last drops of the whiskey he had 'liberated' from Banner's office.

"I'll start us off," Jasmine drew her card to start her turn. "I summon the Queen's Knight (1500/1600) in defense position! And then, I activate the field spell, Sogen, which gives all warrior and beast-warrior types on the field an extra 200 attack and defense! Then, I place one card face down and end my turn!"

Syrus felt a bead of sweat drip down his forehead as he took in the warrior in pink armor that Jasmine had summoned. Its boosted stats of 1700 attack and 1800 defense, thanks to Sogen, were well above the majority of his Roid monsters. A glance at his own hand proved his concern valid.

"Um, I'll go next, I suppose." Syrus stammered. "I-I set one monster in face-down defense position, and then I place one card face down! Turn end!"

Mindy laughed at Syrus's obvious panic as she started her turn, confidently drawing her first card.

"Just like we practice, Jas! I summon Sealmaster Meisei (1100/900) in attack mode! Then, I also place two cards face down!" Mindy swept back her hair with an aura of confidence, and then ended her turn.

What tha' fuck? Phil thought to himself, unsteadily drawing his card for turn as he tried to gather the thoughts of his that were lost in a deep, alcoholic haze. But, before Phil could steady himself, Mindy straightened up.

"Not so fast! In your standby phase, I activate my trap card! Talisman of Spell Sealing! While both it and Sealmaster Meisei remain on the field, spell cards cannot be activated, and the effects of spell cards currently on the field are negated!"

Syrus gasped in shock, blurting the first thing that leapt to his mind. "But won't Jasmine lose out the attack gained from Sogen?"

Mindy nodded to answer Syrus's question. "Yup, but I'm sure her Queen's Knight will be able to handle anything you Slifer's can throw at her." And then, Mindy looked at Phil awkwardly. "Er… I mean what a Slifer and a Ra can throw at her. Sorry."

Phil shrugged, the spinning carousel of his surroundings making him unable to take much offense at her mistake .

"Yeah yeah… whateversh." He mumbled, and then adjusted his grip on his cards to make sure that he wouldn't accidently drop them. Lets seeeee~ Phil thought to himself, peering deeply into the cards in his hand and willing with all his might for the text to stop moving.

Urgh. Shouldn'ta… shouldn'ta made thoshe changes to beastdown. Phil shrugged his shoulders and glanced at Mindy's field. Normally the Sealmaster wouldn't be hard to remove, but he kinda couldn't use spells at the moment.

Which was what most of his hand consisted of at the moment.

"Ahhhh, fuck it." Phil declared, lurching dangerously to the side until Syrus frantically supported him with Phil's shoulder draped over the shorter boy's head.

"I uhhh… I summon the fackin' choo choo train himself, Dekoichi the Battlechanted Locomotive (1400/1000) in attack position! Then, since I'm the lasht turn in the order, I take the first attack. Dekoi-whatever," Phil pointed towards the Sealmaster, a serious-looking man in flowing robes, "facking merc that annoying prick!"

The 'choo choo train', as Phil had put it, revealed a demonic-looking face on the front of the locomotive, leering in anticipation as it thundered towards the Sealmaster on tracks that appeared out of mist. However, Mindy remained unperturbed in the face of impending train violence as she flipped over her other face down.

"It's a shame to waste this so early, but I activate my other trap card! Draining Shield! This'll negate your attack and heal my life points equal to your monster's attack power!" Mindy shouted. On her arm, her duel disk chimed as her life points went from the standard starting point of 4000 to a much greater 5400.

Phil rolled his eyes. Grreaattt… stall. "Fine. I end my turn!"

Jasmine set her face in a stern glare as the tempo of the battle still stood firmly on her and Mindy's side.

"Alright Min! Let's close this out! I summon Amazoness Fighter (1500/1300)! It's a pity that my monsters won't get the boost from Sogen, but looking at your field, I don't need it!"

"Oh no." Syrus mumbled to himself, risking a glance up at the teetering mess of a boy that was using his head like an armrest. It didn't seem like Phil had anything planned, and unfortunately Syrus was in the same position.

"First, lets clear out the trash! Amazoness Fighter, destroy Dekoichi the Battlechanted Locomotive!" While the damage dealt to Phil through the difference it attack points was quite small, the impressively-muscled warrior woman still worried Syrus as it successfully managed to clear his partner's field, bringing Phil's life points down to 3900. However, as Jasmine ordered her Queen's Knight to make an attack at Syrus's monster, he was finally allowed to breathe cleanly.

"Your Queen's Knight may have higher attack points, but unfortunately for you my Gyroid can save itself from destruction by battle one per turn!" Syrus countered as the pink-clad knight shrieked in surprise after her sword bounced off the almost cartoonish helicopter body of Gyroid, his face down monster.

Now I just have to keep alive until I can draw a monster stronger than her Queen's Knight, or better yet, Steamroid. Syrus thought, eyeing the few cards left in his hand. One card in particular, Polymerization, stood out like a beacon to the blue-haired kid, a savior on this night that had gone so wrong. If only he could just draw the right materials to fusion summon with!

Ahhh! If only I hadn't checked my locker! Then bro, Phil, and I wouldn't be in this mess to start with! At least bro should have a good chance at beating Alexis, but I don't even think Phil knows what's going on right now! And even worse, I drew a spell!"

With the Sealmaster still on Mindy's field, every option for the boys was limited. No spells meant almost nonexistent drawing options outside of the draw phase, no real way to power up their monsters to defeat the Queen's Knight, and very limited ways to destroy the trap cards the girls had prepared in order to protect their monsters.

"Ugh. I pass." Syrus shamefully muttered.

"Gyroid wasn't a bad move," Mindy said thoughtfully as her turn started while Syrus was mentally beating himself up. "But, I'm sad to say that it wasn't good enough. Bio-Mage (1150/1000), I summon you!"

A winged angel swooped out of the night to take its place next to the Sealmaster, only on closer inspection Syrus realized that its wings glittered ominously with copper wires and chips. Then, his face paled as he noticed its attack.

"But, that'll be enough!" Syrus panicked as the two monsters were ordered to attack, Bio-Mage wearing out Gyroids protection effect while the Sealmaster Meisei rolled up his sleeves, steadied his conical hat on his head, and decked Gyroid with a thundering left hook to destroy the monster.

Now both of the boy's fields were devoid of monsters, with Syrus only having two cards face down, two cards that he mentally lamented weren't all that useful at the moment as they were, wait for it… spells!

"Erm, Phil, buddy, please say you have something!" Syrus turned to his right to watch his partner draw his card for turn. The taller boy squinted at his card for a few seconds, turned to look Syrus straight in the eyes, and opened his mouth.

"Nope!" Phil responded cheerfully, the lightened tone doing nothing to stave off the feeling of impending doom that Syrus was getting.

"I set a monster! Then… I… I…" Phil frowned, clearly having lost his train of thought. "End turn?"

Mindy turned to look at Jasmine, clearly confused. "Wow, he really is trashed." She muttered as Jasmine drew a card.

"More pointless stalling, hm?" Jasmine mocked before revealing the card she had just drawn. "Fine! I'll turn up the heat a little. I summon Amazoness Archer (1400/1000)!"

Beside the knight in pink armor and the wild-looking muscular woman, another lady appeared out of thin air, holding a bow and looking like she knew how to use it.

"Now! Maybe you'll take this a bit more seriously! Queen's Knight, Amazoness Fighter, and Amazoness Archer, wipe out Phil's remaining life points!"

Syrus flinched, realizing that their combined attacks would equal a solid 3900, enough to finish his partner off. And if he was alone, well, Syrus couldn't even imagine his chances against two opponents at once. However, for once in a duel, he actually felt a little bit useful as he remembered a certain card in his hand.

"Not so fast!" Syrus yelled out, surprising himself at the loudness of his voice, before continuing. "I activate Kiteroid's effect in my hand! If battle damage would be taken from a direct attack, I can discard Kiteroid to make that damage zero! Kiteroid, reduce the damage from Queen's Knight to zero. And, since all three monsters take separate attacks, I activate Kiteroid's graveyard effect! It does the same thing, really! Once per duel, if it's in the graveyard, I can make the battle damage from a direct attack zero!. So, say goodbye to the damage dealt by Amazoness Fighter!"

Jasmine looked irritated by the counter to her finishing attack, but swallowed her words and ended her turn as Phil's life points were only reduced to 2500 instead of the planned zero.

Syrus drew his card to start his turn, noticing that his hands were shaking slightly as he looked over his new card.

Nerves, or adrenaline? He wondered to himself. Strangely enough, the duel wasn't over yet. Somehow, he, Syrus Truesdale, the disappointment of the family, was surviving in what was almost a 2v1 duel.

Well, I might as well bluff a bit. Hopefully they'll think I have something big, like Mirror Force.

I set three cards face down, and I end my turn!"

Mindy shook her head at the play, turning to Jasmine with a snide remark. "A bluff, huh? What do you say Jas, do we call it or no?"

Jasmine tilted her head in thought, before looking towards her tag partner. "You know what, I don't think he has anything. Three cards is a bit much, after he spent so long doing a total of zilch with his other face downs.o Why don't you give it a try, Min?"

"Good idea. However, just in case… I switch Sealmaster Meisei into defense position! Then, I order Bio-Mage to attack Syrus's life points directly!"

Syrus flinched as his life points were reduced from 4000 to 2850 by Bio-Mage's attack. But, he remembered, it's all going to be worth it. I hope, as long as I can draw the last card I need.

Mindy ended her turn with a disappointed frown, leaving no doubt that she regretted switching the Sealmaster to defense position and losing out on the extra damage.

At Syrus's side, Phil perked up a bit as he realized it was finally his turn again.

"Tch, more shit." He muttered, until Phil took a peek at his own face down monster and let out a dopey grin. "Well, whatevsh. Lets draw into the heaaattt~! I flip summon Morphing Jar (700/600)! It'sh effect activates, making us all discard our hands and draw five cards!

Mindy and Jasmine groaned in annoyance, but inwardly Syrus was giddy as the effect of the old jar with a terrifying single eye and a wide, green mouth allowed him a better chance at drawing into what he needed without requiring a spell card. Maybe, just maybe… come'on Steamroid, come'on Steamroid, I need you!

And then, as Syrus looked over his new hand, his surroundings went faint. He had become so focused on the two monsters in his new hand that Syrus didn't even register Phil collapsing into a snoozing puddle of contentment on the ground.

I…

This is it!

I just have to live to my next turn!

However, Syrus could hear a sound, almost like the ticking of a clock, in the back of his mind as Jasmine started her turn. A sound that with every tick Syrus felt closer and closer to what could either be victory or defeat.

He grimaced as the Queen's Knight attacked him directly, dropping Syrus's life points from 2850 to 1350. Another 'tick tock' sounded in Syrus's head as Jasmine decided to switch things up a bit, choosing to have her Amazoness Archer destroy Phil's Morphing Jar, reducing Phil's life points to 1800.

And then, Amazoness Fighter swung her ginormously muscled fists towards Syrus in a bit to finish off the Slifer Red.

But, Syrus was ready. For a voice in the back of his head, a teensy-tiny one that he was usually too nervous or scared to listen to, screamed victory.

"I activate my trap card! Dust Tornado! It allows me to destroy one spell or trap card on the field, and I choose your Talisman of Spell Sealing, Mindy! And after it destroys a spell or trap, it allows me to set one from my hand! Then, I activate the spell card I've been saving from the beginning! Emergency Provisions! I choose to use its effect to send any number of other spell and trap cards I control to the graveyard, giving me 1000 life points for each card sent. Bro, this is for you, for telling me about this card. I send my set spell card, Training Wheels, and my trap card, Wonder Garage in order to gain 2000 life points.

Jasmine raised her eyebrows in surprise. "But you still take the damage from Amazoness Fighter!"

"That I do." Syrus agreed as his life points went from 1350, to 3350, and all the way back down to 1650 as the attack boost from the Sogen field spell was put back into effect.

"My turn!" He shouted, hardly even noticing that Jaden and Alexis had wandered over to watch after their duel had ended.

"Phil may have passed out like a drunk salaryman, but his Morphing Jar gave me the cards I needed! And now, with your Talisman of Spell Sealing out of the way, I activate Polymerization to fuse the Rescueroid and Ambulanceroid in my hand to create my fusion monster, Ambulance Rescueroid (2300/1800)! Then, I'll keep up the pressure by summoning Expressroid (400/1600) in defense position. When it's summoned, it'll allow me to add my Gyroid and my Rescueroid from my graveyard back to my hand."

A low whistle sounded out in the surroundings, and Syrus's ears perked up as he finally realized his bro was watching his duel.

"Now! Turn the tables on them, Ambulance Rescueroid! Destroy the Queen's Knight!

On Syrus's side of the field, a cartoonish, red ambulance stood up on flexible wheels acted as legs, unfolding another set of wheels under its cab and pointing menacingly at the knight. The vehicle took several threatening steps forwards, before plucking off one of its lights and knocking the knight over the head with it. For the first time in the duel, Jasmine's life points dipped below 4000 as Ambulance Rescuroid's attack dropped them to 3400.

Jasmine turned to Mindy, clearly amused at the rapid turn in events.

"Looks like you have some pep in you after all, Syrus." Alexis remarked from the sidelines.

And then, the bushes rustled, causing all six teenagers to freeze and look off to the side. In the distance, a questioning voice sounded out, and Syrus came to the terrifying realization that maybe they had been just a liiitttlllee bit too loud.

"Crap, bro, we gotta get out of here!" He whispered frantically to Jaden, who at least seemed to understand partially the seriousness of the situation.

"What a shame," Mindy pouted. "You boys ought to get out of here, before Ms. Fontaine shows up and sees you."

Jaden and Syrus nodded in relief.

"Thanks Mindy, Jasmine, Alexis. Sorry again!" Jaden called, and then flinched as his voice caused Fontaine's questioning voice to get louder.

Syrus put his palm up to his face, and then looked straight into Jaden's eyes. "Bro…"

Jaden scratched his brown hair sheepishly. "Yeah, yeah I know Sy. I'll get Phil."

And thus, the two boys plus a Phil in a drunken stupor made their escape from the frightening trap that was the girls side of the Obelisk Blue dorm.