Prologue

I guess you could say that it was my fault, that's what I believed anyway. Theres no one else you could really blame, well I guess you could say that it was James's fault, but I don't.

I yawned and stretched, checking the time on my alarm clock, it was almost time. I got dressed putting on a flowy black dress with silver specks, they reminded me of the stars. I looked out side the window to see a bright blue sky and a bright sun, it was as if nature was mocking her. I slowly made my way down stairs, my dad was nowhere to be seen, but that was normal. As I slipped on my shoes I felt a silent tear make it's way down my face.

When I stepped outside I was greeted by a friendly face, the last thing I wanted. He opened the car door for me and I slumped down into the seat. I could vaguely hear him whispering sweet words to me but I didn't care, I didn't want to feel better, I didn't deserve to.

The ceremony was nice, she looked so beautiful and content, it was as if she were trying to tell me that everything would be all right. I gave a short speech but I can't remember what I said, I don't think I want to either. Everyone was so happy, it was sickening, how could they be happy when she was gone, how could anyone be happy.

We left as quick as possible, I couldn't stand being around all of them, smiling as if everything was fine. I cried in his embrace, but couldn't help but feel guilty doing so, it should be her that he was consoling, not me. Still being the selfish person I am, I let him hold me, I let the warm tears roll down my face.

I don't remember falling asleep, but I know i did, I was haunted with the memories of our time together, of her smiling face, of the sound of her laugh. Almost as if God was taunting me her song came on, I cried, I wasn't proud of it but I cried until my voice was hoarse, until my eyes were swollen and red, I cried myself to sleep, the soft lyrics serving as a lullaby.

"Oh, why you look so sad? Tears are in your eyes come on and come to me now don't be ashamed to cry"