Wherever it may take us

Taken off guard by Elizabeth's sudden tears, Julia and Sophia rushed to wrap their arms around her and comfort her. Jenny wasn't as close to Elizabeth and wasn't a very physical person to begin with, so to not appear fake, she stuck to her natural behavior and simply waited for Elizabeth's answer. "The latter..." She said through her tears. "I am afraid... Afraid of how quickly he seems to have captured my heart. Afraid that now that I slept with him, he has all the power in this relationship. I needed to gain some of it back. So I told him that until he was ready to marry me, I wouldn't sleep with him anymore." Elizabeth looked in Jenny's direction to see what she thought about what she had said to Nick. Had she made the right decision?

"If you ask me, that won't get you where you want with him. You see now you have made an engagement the prerequisite for having sex, but that is like putting a price on it or giving him an ultimatum. Though your decision gives you a sense of security, it might provide the wrong incentive. If he feels pressure to propose to you, just so you will sleep with him or feel secure enough in your relationship, would that kind of proposal really make you happy? If he does propose and you don't feel ready yet, are you going to sleep with him just because you are engaged? Or If you do feel secure enough in your relationship after some time and you do want to sleep with him again, are you not going to do that if he hasn't proposed to you yet? For what purpose ...? If not sleeping until you are engaged is something you want, then there is nothing wrong with that. I myself have told Jason that I won't sleep with him until we are married, because that is something important to me. Though he isn't exactly happy with it, he has known that from the beginning and has accepted it. But if you are only saying that to make him commit or out of fear, then I think you might regret it in the end."

"Instead of that, what I think you want is for him to commit to you because he wants to commit and because he loves you. Not because he feels he needs to. If that is what you want, then I advise you to have another talk with him. Tell him that you feel that the vacation atmosphere caused things to go faster than you intended. Tell him that you want the relationship to progress slowly so you can gain some trust first. Tell him that you want to make your relationship last and for that things need to be built up from the start and progress naturally. And whenever you both feel ready to be intimate again, that is when that will happen. Maybe that will be after you are together as boyfriend and girlfriend for some time, maybe its when you are engaged and maybe it won't be until after marriage. That way there won't be a deadline or finish line, but you will be working towards a feeling, a state, in your relationship. I think that will be more lasting. Don't you?"

Elizabeth was amazed at Jenny's answer and so were the others. It all seemed so logical. Why couldn't she think of this herself. She had been so focused on who had the power in this relationship, that she lost sight of what she wanted to achieve. There was one thing she was certain of and that was that she didn't want to lose Nick. She was happy that she had confided in the three of them. If not, would her relationship actually have been able to survive? Out of fear of losing him or getting hurt, she would probably have done something stupid. She would have continued to give him a tough time to make sure she was the one calling the shots and in the end there would come a day where he would think enough is enough. Elizabeth wiped the tears from her face and said "Yeah..You are right. I-I think I need to go talk to Nick. Please excuse me."

Elizabeth got up and walked out of the room, when she realized that she hadn't finished packing yet and there wasn't much time left. She abruptly turned around to finish packing before finding Nick, when she saw from the opening of the door that Sophia, Julia and Jenny were busy packing for her. She stood still for a moment and a gentle smile could be seen on her face. She was feeling so peaceful and so happy in that very moment. The decision to come along on this vacation, had proven to be one of her best decision ever. She had been able to let go of an obsession, had gained a new love, regained some old friends and as it seemed also some good new friends. She hurried to the patio to find Nick and found him sitting with a pensive look by the pool. She walked over to him and woke him from his trance by grabbing his hand. He looked up in surprise. "Come with me for a moment. There is something I need to talk to you about." "Sure. Where do you want to talk?" Elizabeth looked around for a minute and had an idea. She pulled the hand she was holding and Nick got up to follow her. They walked into the house and headed for the front door.

They walked outside and found a spot to sit by the stone fence surrounding the premises. As she held onto his hand she told him what conclusion she had come to. "Nick, I have done some thinking and would like to take some things I have said back. I was flooded with emotions back then and I wasn't able to voice what I was feeling properly, nor what I wanted. I don't need you to propose to me. I know we just started dating and I know that marriage is too big of a step for you right now. Considering where you started, I think you have made great progress. I was just feeling scared, but a part of the reason for that is me. So instead of holding onto engagement as an ultimatum, I would just like to see where this is going. All I need for you is to be true to me and know that your feelings for me are real. If you can promise me that, then we can let things progress naturally. We will take things one step at a time and when we have enough trust between us and we both feel ready, then we can take that step once more. If that is a month from now, it's a month from now. If it is before marriage it's before marriage and if it's after, then it's after. So what do you say, are you willing to ride this out with me. Wherever it may take us?"

Nick smiled and felt a load fall from his shoulders. He grabbed her by the shoulders and pressed her head against his chest, "Of course I am. I might not be able to propose to you right now, but I can say that right now the only person I can see myself walking down the isle with, is you. So have some more faith in yourself and in me, and together we will be able to create something great."