My privilege

Jenny was still lying on her back in the bed. She was staring at the ceiling, wondering what had just happened and more importantly what had almost happened! Even after lying there for twenty minutes, she still hadn't figured it out nor what had brought it on. She had teased him before in the past and never had he reacted the way he had done today. She wasn't sure if Jason was just teasing her or if he would have really gone all the way if he hadn't stopped at that point. Jenny turned her head to the side and stared at the door that separated the two rooms. Jason had disappeared through that door and he hadn't come back ever since he left. She asked herself whether Jason was still in that room or if he had left after he had gone through that door. She pulled herself up and sat straight up on the bed for a moment, still looking at the dividing door. 'Maybe Jason is feeling bad about what he did and that is why he hasn't returned yet?' She got up and walked to the door, hesitating whether she should go to the other room.

After a few seconds of contemplating she pushed the door and saw that the room appeared empty. She walked inside and let the door fall back into the hinges. When she looked around the room, she found Jason sitting beside the door, leaning against the closet doors, with his head hanging down. It seemed that her guess was right. Jenny walked up to him and sat down beside him. She looked at him and waited for a moment before saying, "Hey stranger, what happened in there?" Jason didn't look at her, but answered while still facing the floor. "I don't really know either. It's just becoming more and more difficult these days to control myself. It seems like the smallest trigger can push my buttons and make me lose my calm. Especially on days like these, where you are all dolled up and I can't do anything. I'm sorry if I scared you." Jenny felt a bit bad. The reason he was holding back was because of her, but she didn't realize that he was struggling with it so much. "Is there anything I can do to make it easier for you?" Jason though about this question for a moment before he hesitantly replied. "I guess it would help if you could let me blow off steam a little every now and then..." With determined eyes he turned around and added, "I know we can't go all the way, but you could let me go a bit further than what he have done so far."

Now it was Jenny's turn to admire the ground as her cheeks flushed red. "I see." She said softly. Seeing this response Jason averted his eyes and quickly said, "It's okay if you don't want to. It was probably just a moment of weakness. I am sure it won't happen again. No, I won't let it happen again." Jenny wasn't actually rejecting his suggestion. She was simply thinking about it and what it would mean. Thinking back on what had happened earlier and trying to determine whether what she was feeling was something she had liked or disliked. That way it would be easier for her to answer him, but she didn't expect Jason to take her moment of silence as a sign of her unwillingness. So, she looked back up and glanced at Jason sideways. Seeing him avoiding eye contact she placed her hand on top of his and closed it. This caught Jason's attention, who turned back to face her. He was looking up in her direction with a guilty, anxious kind of expression.

Jenny took a deep breath and said, "I wasn't saying no. I might be shy, but I do know that it is part of a normal relationship. Especially one that has marriage involved. That is why I brought it up back during the summer break. I really appreciate you keeping my wishes in consideration, but it doesn't mean you have to carry the burden alone. So, if something like this is what you need every now and again, I am okay with that. I was just caught off guard. It's not just you that wants to grow closer even if the initiative has to come from you most of the time. It's okay to search the limits, as long as you know when to stop."

Jason looked at Jenny with a sense of disbelief before he put his arm around her and pulled her closer till her head was resting on his chest. "How is it that I do something wrong and you are the one comforting me. On your birthday of all days." He let out a soft sigh as he ruffled her hair. "I really am a bad guy." Jenny chuckled. "My birthday was over almost three hours ago. And you aren't that bad. I for one still like you plenty. It is my privilege as your fiance to forgive you every so often for your mistakes and comforting you afterwards is my reward." Jason let out a low soft laughter. "Since when did you become such a smooth talker." Instantly Jenny replied with, "I had a good teacher. Even I will pick up a thing or two after almost a year of being together." Making Jason laugh once more. "Now let's go to bed. I can barely keep my eyes open and if we wait any longer it will be time to get up instead of going to sleep."

"Agreed." Jason said as he hopped on his feet. Suddenly he scooped Jenny off the floor and carried her into the bedroom in his arms. Jenny let out a shriek before quickly covering her mouth as it was almost three in the morning and she was afraid of waking someone up. Despite the room being soundproof and them being in a separate wing from the only other people living in the Westwood mansion. She hit his chest as she said in a muffled voice, "What are you doing?! Let me down. Are you crazy startling me like that in the middle of the night." Jason showed her a flirtatious smile as he had seemingly recovered from his mood from earlier and said, "Carrying you to bed is my privilege and no amount of sweet talking or protest will let you take it away from me!"