Break the silence

The ride to school took them twenty minutes. This was a long time to spend in silence. The car was filled with tension and the air felt suffocating. The driver was glad that the screen in between the two parts of the car had been closed, otherwise he would be unable to breathe. How come they are at odds after just one day? Was the question running through his mind. This was what was the question on Jason and Jenny's mind as well. It started off so good. Why did everything turn so sour after just one day. After a few minutes spent in total silence, Jenny started calming down. During that moment of silence she had some time to think and she knew they were doing this from a good place. Plus it was not just Jason's wish for them to go to school together, but also that of his parents. It wasn't really fair to blame just him. She just hadn't counted on that much resistance and was bummed that this would ruin the plans she had for fitting in at this new school filled with all those privileged people. Slowly she sat straight and glanced over at Jason. He was still in the same position as when they had left the house. With his chin resting on his arm and staring out of the window. The glances hadn't gone unnoticed by Jason, but he wanted to see what Jenny would come up with. Jenny was hesitantly rubbing her thumbs over one another, a habit she had when she was nervous, while thinking of what to say to break the silence. By now she had stolen more than a few glances. Probably deep down hoping Jason would make the first move. This was so awkward. Suddenly she heard Jason's voice "What, finally you are no longer mad at me for trying to protect you?". Jenny's expression was filled with shock. His harsh tone surprised her and his words felt like a knife to the heart.

Jenny lowered her eyes and started staring at her hands, unable to meet Jason's eyes that had turned in her direction after he had said those words. "Do you have any idea how hurt I was. I have been preparing for you arrival the moment you left the villa in the city. I had made all these plans for when we would attend the same school together. I had looked forward to finally showing my lovely fiance to the world. To my world. And what do I get? I get a knife in my back and am asked if she can treat me like I have the plague. Am I really that bad in your eyes? That just being associated with me is something you have to avoid at all cost? Even if that means putting yourself in a possibly dangerous situation?" Each one of Jason's words felt like a new knife plunged in Jenny's heart. Only now did she realize how much her words had hurt Jason. Only now did she realize that she hadn't been clear and Jason's anger was justified. With the words she had spoken, without explaining properly what she had meant, she could not blame him for drawing this conclusion. But even the actual meaning of her words were not fair to Jason. It was a selfish plan where she had disregarded what Jason might have planned or expected. If the roles were reversed she imagined she would be quite hurt as well. She was surprised he wasn't even more angry with her. She could feel tears forming at the back of her eyes and felt the stinging that came with her holding them back. She refused to cry. She refused to make Jason feel guilty for the words he had spoken. He was completely right for being angry and she knew if he saw her tears he would forgive her straight away and probably even try to comfort her. That was not fair to him, so she remained still and kept her eyes focused on her hands. Knowing this would probably keep their current misunderstanding alive. She would talk to him about this later, but right now she was unable to have this conversation, because the driver just announced they had arrived. She hadn't even noticed, because she had been looking down for the second half of the ride.

Jason was still quite upset and Jenny's silence did not help the situation. What does this silence mean. Does she not care? Does she not know what to say? Or does she finally somewhat understand where his anger had come from. At least he had been able to vent a little and speak his mind. There was no more time for them to continue this conversation, so he decided to let it go for now. Class was about to start and they still had to go to the admission's office to get her student ID-card, her locker-key and such. He of course already knew which class she was in and her class-schedule as he had deliberately had her placed in the same class as him. Though he thought this was a perfect plan before, but after this morning he wasn't so sure anymore. Class would only be the start of his second battle of the day as he had consented to keeping their relationship a secret for now. He didn't know how much rejection from her he could handle before losing his temper completely.