One step at a time

A tea in hand, nibbling on some pancakes, Laila was feeling a bit hesitant but regardless of her inner feelings, she began to explain to Maria how and why she had not been on her team, even when she had been the owner of a successful company. "Well you see, back then I was married to Jake, as you already know. Just like in this life, you did not like him very much. You two did not get along at all, giving you two a tense relationship. If that is what you can call it even. Since you were my best friend back then as well, I would confide in you whenever me and him were facing problems. This did not help in you approving of him, much less like him." Maria had no argument there and could easily believe that was the case.

"So, when I started my own company and it became more successful, I tried to get you to join me. By that time that brother of yours managed to get himself in a huge debt and threw that on your shoulders as well. I knew you wouldn't accept any money. So, I thought a helping hand in the form of a job with me, might ease that burden on you a bit." With a chuckle she added, "I even made an elaborate plan to make a bonus system just for you and have you earn the money you needed a bit faster."

Then Laila's face turned a bit more sad as she continued the story. "But sadly you rejected my offer before I could even think of a way to make you believe that you had earned that bonus. Maybe you sensed what I was doing, maybe the idea of running into Jake bothered you too much. Either way you decided that you would prefer staying at your then current jobs instead of taking the one that I was willing to give you. I managed to find other ways to give you a helping hand with the money issues and you did well for yourself. But it certainly wasn't the life I wanted for you or how I thought things would go. So, to make a long story short, I did not have you on my team but not for a lack of trying. I am glad to see that in this life you are feeling differently and I hope that the circumstances aren't the same."

Maria continued to smile, though this time her smile appeared to have a touch of sadness. "Well, my idiot brother is still my idiot brother. Apparently that didn't change, regardless of the timeline that he is in. But at least it seems that I have changed somewhat for the better. Plus, I feel that things are okay now, at this point in my life I mean. I am not unhappy. I am no longer really struggling. I have paid off a lot of my debts over the years. I assume some of it has been with your help. But lately there has also been a mysterious person who keeps sending me money and gifts. This has helped me at least pay off his debt and now I only have my scumbag exes debts to go, which have been paid off for a big part as well."

Laila was happy to see that Maria had taken her words well and that she seemed to be doing better in this life. She was also happy to know that she herself hadn't been a full self-absorbed person in this life. At the very least she had continued to help Maria with her debts, despite them no longer being in touch. This showed that through it all, she had continued to care for Maria.

"As for me rejecting your offer in the past, with my personality I can imagine those factors being the reason for me saying no. However, maybe even more so than that, I think the circumstances surrounding the offer itself made me reject it. I think that me realizing your intentions for offering me a job, were enough to cause my protective instincts of you and my own damn pride to start acting up. You know how I have always wanted so solve my own problems. Especially problems I myself helped create. As long as it is somewhat hidden, I can turn a blind eye to things. But when it stares me right in the face, it becomes hard for me to accept a helping hand in those kind of matters." After saying these words as she looked in Laila's eyes, she lowered her gaze as she said some things she had been contemplating to say.

"I probably would be the same in this life as well but you see, in this life I had someone who helped me see things a bit differently. He let me see that it is okay to get some help sometimes and that getting help from time to time from the people you love, makes you feel loved as well. It makes matters not seem so worse and ease that feeling of drowning because things keep stacking up. Even now, the idea of having to pay off so much money gives me stress. It makes me think about all the things I have to do to get that money, all the things I won't be able to do because of the money I owe and I am forced to face the things I might never have. But over the past couple of weeks, months, I have noticed these feelings being a little less overwhelming. They don't come up so often anymore and when they do, they fade away more easily. This is why I feel that things are looking up for me and I am trying to change that fearful and proud side of mine one step at a time."