Inner voice

Maria looked at Steve with widened eyes and after hours of nothing, he had again managed to make her blush and at a loss for words. How was he able to sense her feelings and thoughts so well and so effortlessly. In just a split second, almost immediately after those thoughts had entered her mind, Steve had managed to speak the words she so desperately needed to hear. She did not know how he was able to say his feelings aloud so easily but she was coming to appreciate that quality of Steve more and more as she spent time with him.

She didn't realize it so much until she met Steve. But seeing how open and honest he was with his feelings for her, made Maria realize how important this was to her and how much it was lacking in her previous relationships. She was always the one showing her affections, while she hoped the other felt the same. Unable to ask the question but so anxious for the answer. But with Steve, without her asking a single thing, he gave her the answers she needed to feel at ease, to feel sure that felt the same way she did. So, after hearing Steve's love filled speech, she smiled gently at him and squeezed his hand as she did. In a soft, warm voice she said just two words, "Thank you."

But to Steve those words were enough and her eyes told him all that he needed to hear. His words might have sounded like some cheesy line, intended to woo the girl, but he meant it. For some reason it was like he could hear Maria's inner voice. It had been this way from the first day he met her. That is why even when she said all those mean things to him, he could hear the words behind them as well. In fact, he seemed to hear that voice louder than Maria's actual voice.

The voice inside her was shouting at him. Screaming for him to not take her words the wrong way. Telling him she didn't mean it that way. That she was just being shy. That she had been hurt. That she was trying to protect herself and for him to be patient if he really loved her. So, that is what he did.

From their first meeting, all he did was show Maria he cared about her. That he was there to be her friend and more if she was ready for it. He didn't make it a secret what role he wanted to have in her life but he had sworn to himself that he would be satisfied even if he never got to be that person to her. If she said no, if she let him know in any way that she felt uncomfortable, he would make sure to back off. His only goal had been to make sure that she knew his feelings and it was up to her what she wanted to do with that information. If she wanted to return his feelings or deny him forever. As long as he knew that he was there for her if she needed him, no matter the reason.

In his efforts to woo her, he would send Maria gifts. But where he started off with the typical gifts that he thought any girl would like, the expensive and shimmery kind, after a while he realized that this wasn't the way to go with Maria. In fact, Maria made sure he knew that this wasn't the way to go because she sent each and everyone back to him. Despite him sending those gifts with good intentions and presenting it to her by attaching a note with a teasing message, hoping that her annoyance at him would make her want to keep it as way of 'punishment'. But Maria would not only reject his gift physically, she took things a step further.

She would flip the note he had attached and reject the gift verbally as well. If he wrote, "Maybe these can blind your haters for a little while, so you can keep some energy for me." She would reply by saying, "Haters are gonna hate. So, I don't waste any energy on them to begin with. My lack of energy for you comes for a deeper place. No amount of jewellery will help with that. So, instead you can use these to distract one of your arm candies with as I won't be one of them." How was he supposed to reply to that?

Not one day had he seen her wear any of his gifts. Except for the cashmere scarf he sent. That had been the only one she accepted. But of course she couldn't accept the gift without taking a jab at him. So, what did she do? She sent back the empty box with just the reused note in it, which said, "I might not like you but I do like my neck and my neck just so happens to like your scarf. So, you win this round but I can say with certainty you won't win more."

After his many rejected gifts, one thing became clear to him. What she needed wasn't expensive jewellery or fancy clothes. What she needed were everyday things. Ways to make her life a bit more easy. Something that would allow her to stop working two different jobs just to make ends meet and finish paying off the debt she had gotten for one of the past scumbags she had dated. Something that showed her that he actually knew her and cared.

Once he realized that, he changed his approach. He would send her gift cards for nearby supermarkets. Make an extra payment on her debt. He even changed the way she received the gifts. Instead of presenting her random packages with overly expensive gifts, which might scare her as she might think that he was coming on too strong. He made it seem like she had won something. Like she had been a lucky draw. This was also why he didn't just pay off her entire debt. Instead he made her think that she might have forgotten a payment she had made.

He hadn't had enough time to do all that he had planned for her but now that they were becoming a couple, he would no longer have to hide his kindness. He could spoil her without having to find an elaborate reason for why she deserved his small gestures despite him knowing she deserved much, much more.