Erased

"Look, Marga, I'm not just doing this to keep my promise to Shaina. I do everything I can to make my children's lives better. They lost their mother at a young age, and I may be unable to care for them on my own. You are aware that being a single parent is difficult. I'm not sure if I'll be able to balance fatherhood with my children while working. I might not be able to cope without a companion, without a mother to look after them, which is why I-I want you."

As I stared at him, my lips parted.

I almost smiled at his handsome face, but my heart was filled with resentment every time I remembered our marriage was a shambles. Because he and I just made a promise and we have to keep it. We'll get married just to keep a promise, to keep the intense pretense that you didn't realize was untrue in the eyes of others.

"Marga, we need you,"

As he sighed deeply and spoke, I returned to reality. I was staring at him unknowingly, and thankfully, my saliva didn't drip as my lips parted.

I swallowed slightly and closed my mouth as I adjusted my gaze to avoid making eye contact with him.

So, that's all there is to it? My heart gradually softened again, attempting to harden. I gave a bitter smile. I was aware of it.

That is the sole reason. Marga, there is no other.

Marga, you're not in that section. Self-centeredness. Convenient.

Despite hearing his reasoning over and over, I couldn't help but feel hurt.

Marga, you're not in the picture of his life. It was only a show.

That, supposedly, qualifies as 'family.' Perhaps a trophy for his children. They still have a mother, it can be said. You aren't even on his radar. What happens if I go with him and marry him?

To think about it, my heart is breaking up little by little.

"How about me?" I asked, inevitably resentful. "How about my future? My happiness?" I couldn't help but feel heavy on my chest with the weight of feeling.

But in reality, my obstinacy is dwarfed by the determination I see in his eyes. He was adamant about continuing to marry me. What about my contentment? Honestly, he's one of my joys in addition to his sons, but how can I be so happy that I'll marry the person I like but he won't?

He has no feelings for me; I simply hid my beloved for a long time.

His jaw twitched. "We want to be your family in the future. My two children and I will be your children as well "He responded directly and emphatically, without looking me in the eyes.

My vision gradually deteriorated due to tears once more.

"How come you're such a fucking selfish jerk, Klark?"

I wanted to say something, but I couldn't because I couldn't express myself and I was too frustrated to show how I felt.

A lot happened before we got married. I left quite a few things for it. I resigned from my job because he asked me to, and even though it was against my will, I was able to do so because it was what I needed to do, and I understand that. It's a case for his children, and as a mother, you should be paying attention. There is no other. He told me I didn't need to work anymore because he could provide a good life for us even if he was alone at work.

He can afford it because he is an Architect.

That is also why I frequently have difficulty deciding; I have difficulty marrying him, so my consent took another year. Because I was afraid... the difficulty of letting go of something you wished for solely for him. It's a huge test and a perplexing decision all at the same time.

I wish I had more to do, but perhaps this is my fate. I often wonder what my life will be like when I arrive and am completely dependent on him. Will I be content? Him? All of us?

Is there any chance that we'll be as happy as any other complete family, even though I'm not the real mother and wife? Is there any hope for improvement? That is one of the reasons I hesitate to agree at times. There are so many thoughts racing through my head. But once I agreed, I was able to let go of some of the things I was doing because I didn't want to neglect his children while their mother was alone.

Klark's children have grown on me, and I adore them.

Women used to be expected to stay at home and care for their families, but that is no longer the case! I also have my own business. I'd like to work as well. But I couldn't help myself because I needed to be a mother to his children.

His warm palm suddenly landed on my cheek with each escape of my tears, causing me to stop and be stunned as he wiped away my tears while looking straight into my eyes.

Based on his expression, I can tell he's having trouble as well. I had no idea I was still crying. That's what I see in him: frustration, guilt, sorrow, and pain. I'm not sure why I can see in his eyes that he's in pain or struggling when I shouldn't and he shouldn't.

"Please don't cry, and don't make this difficult for me. Don't be like this child." he licked his lower lips as he spoke breathlessly.

He closed his eyes tightly, but when he awoke, his eyes were glazed and he still didn't let go of my face. As he bowed, I looked up at him.

"Can you put up with Rius and Zeus?"

That's all there is to it. When we both argue, it's always like this. He always mentions my flaws, which he is well aware of. Did he fail to consider the possibilities?

'How come it comes so easily to you, Klark? If it was truly against you, perhaps you quickly tied yourself to me? What is it that you really are? Why don't you find someone else to marry instead of me? Why should I? You don't care about me, do you? So, why?'

I chose to keep my mouth shut despite the fact that I wanted to ask him more questions. I don't want our squabble to worsen in the middle of our wedding, especially since my parents are still here. That's the one I still avoid the most. What my parents did not understand about the truth. The fact that we only recently married is a load of nonsense.

They only know that we are both in love.

I'm also concerned that someone might overhear. I can't do anything, my heart is pounding, and I can't even breathe! I have a lot of ideas. I had a lot of questions, but I just kept it to myself and cried earlier. I have to cry first, and I don't want my parents and other important people to see me crying in the middle of the wedding, or whatever else they might think.

I sighed deeply. After all, I agreed to it, and I can't back out of it. I've already made my decision.

I've made up my mind.

"Let's go back. I... I'm ready now."

His hands were still on my face, caressing me even though I didn't even cry and tears anymore. It was as if an electric current was coursing through my body for no apparent reason.

His lips were parted. "Are you certain now uhm… You are aware that I have already informed you of this " he responded. He can't believe what I've said to him.

I couldn't answer because I couldn't fight the urge to look at him, so I just looked down.

"Hey, listen to me," he said, bringing his face close to mine and his gaze fixed on mine.

I took a big gulp.

"I understand what you're afraid of, and I understand how difficult it is for you to be together with no l-love involved. I accept and concur with what Shaina said. Not because of Rius and Zeus, but because I want her to die with peace and calm in her mind. Don't worry, I'll do my best not to cause you any difficulties. I will be a good husband to you and will never abandon you. Believe me. We both promised Shaina this, didn't we?"

Even though my heart ached a little on one side, I just nodded. With him, my heart softened. I'm carrying what he says.

"Klark, I want to be a good wife to you as well. I'll do my best as well. I don't want to let you down. D-Don't worry, I won't give you any trouble and will do everything for your son."

He softly smiled and shook his head. I couldn't help but beat my heart as soon as he smiled, even if it was just a twitch of his lips with a hidden smile. It seemed like the first time I saw him so happy.

"I know and Shaina knows I can see you, and she chose to be my wife because I know and she knows you can. You will be an excellent mother to our children. B-But... in case the one in your mind changes and you meet someone else. Maybe I'll handle our annulment. That is why only the judge decided to marry so that only we would know."

I thought I could be persuaded by the words he spoke, but it seemed to get worse.

What I heard gradually erased my earlier smile that reached up to my ears.

I didn't expect it, and I hadn't even considered it. That my attachment to him might not last long. Even after all of our efforts, it is possible that we will still part ways for the sake of our foolish pretense.