For All The Ones We've Lost

I stare with teary eyes at the little braid of pitch-black hair in my trembling hands. My heart hurts just looking at it. After a week of carrying it around and caressing it every chance I got, the sweet scent of peaches is fading. Her scent is fading. Something that makes my broken and aching heart hurt even more.

The first tears find their way out of my eyes, and not long after, the first sob follows.

After maybe an hour of full-on sobbing, I calm down again. My chest feels tight, my breathing is shallow, and my heart clenches painfully, but I am calm again. I sniff my runny nose and look up from the little braid of black hair to the face of my husband. Today is day hundred eighty-two of him not opening his eyes.

I can't believe it's already been six months since I last stared into his breathtaking onyx eyes. "It is so hard, Therion." My voice is hoarse from the constant screaming and crying. "I just miss you so much. I the both of you so fucking much." The tears find their way down my face again. My trembling lips taste salt because of them. I press myself closer to Therion's comatose form and let my heavy head rest on his bare chest. A chest now decorated with three thick white lines. Scars left by the claws of the manticore.

I sigh deeply and rub the tears out of my face. The steady sound of my mate's heartbeat is the only thing that gives me somewhat reassurance and courage to continue. I feel as empty as I possibly can be. The attack from the manticore six months wasn't the only one. A lot more mythical creature attacks followed. All of them were adjusted with metal. All of them deadlier than they already are without limbs made out of iron.

Kayol became more and more exhausted from disarming them from their metal limbs. Luckily, he isn't the only one of my subjects with the power to control metal. But even though they are with a hand full, they can't hold those things off forever.

A week after the first attack, Kayol and a few others with the ability to control metal, and I went back to that place. We wanted to see if there was any sign of the creature responsible for the chaos that's been our reality for the past six months. But no. They don't want to make themselves known yet. They only sent more and more of those horrible things to terrorize Karmina.

All they do is send more chaos, more death, more fear. They know what they are doing. They're toying with us to the point we will be too scared and too exhausted to face them when they decide to show their face.

I swallow the painful lump in my throat and close my eyes while using my Therion's steady rising and falling chest as my pillow. The warmth of his skin, the feeling of his breath on my hair, the scent of fire and cinnamon form his skin, and the steady and strong beating of his heart are the only things that keep me from giving up. I can't give up. I have to keep going.

For everyone, we have lost.

For Siraye,

For Kayol,

For Clarissa,

For Therion,

For my little treasure,

And lastly for everyone else who is counting on me.

I can't give up. I can't even think about giving in. I can't let everyone down. I am their Queen. I'll make fucking sure that I deserve this title by not giving in. I'll give my life if I have to. I'll do anything for this Kingdom. I'll do anything for the people living in it.

I'll do anything to make them proud of me.

"It is so fucking hard, My Love," I sigh. "I don't know how much more I can take before I completely crumble. I can't do this without you. Please, Therion, please come back to me. I am begging you to wake up. Please." I play with a strand of his long, wavy, night-black hair. I push myself up a bit, so my forehead rests against his jaw. I nuzzle my nose in the crook of his neck and shoulder and wrap my arms and legs around him.

I clutch the little braid in my hand. A single tear slits down my cheek before Darkness lulls me to sleep. I mostly dream about those blood-red eyes belonging to the manticore that haunts me every time I close my eyes.