1

1 Getting kissed.

I was on the way to the hospital, grandpa is still in a coma, I must admit, it was not to visit grandpa, but the college students that were reading stories to him, while he was riding high on some experimental drug. That Daphne was a stunning beauty, Tracey was not far behind in the looks department, Susan and Hannah could be anyone's wet dream. Eluna? Well, she is Eluna, her theories of alternative universes, and fantasy worlds are mind-boggling.

That professor Gotha? In my opinion, he lost a few screws, trying to influence the subconsciousness with some experimental drug, by reading stories next to him, then looking for brain activity. Grandpa had donated his body to science after he is dead. He said the students need something to learn on, so they might as well admire his godlike body while they cut him up. Knowing that, professor Gotha had asked permission to mum for these experiments. Doctors already had giving up on grandpa, there was no way he could survive, or return to normal.

Anyway, we already said our goodbyes to grandpa, and the extra days we have with him are a bonus. Did I mention the college students? They are the extra bonus. We told them he was a Harry Potter fan and wrote several fan fiction's about it. Susan and Hannah jumped on the idea and started to read the Harry Potter books to him. Daphne had a kinky side, she was reading smutty books to him. I found that out when I was listening at the door. Tracey read fan fiction to him from his favorite author Sinyk.

Well if he is somehow conscious, I wonder what he will be dreaming.

My mind was with Daphne and her slutty books, Tracey, Sue, and Han with their very short skirts, and Eluna… her too. Well… that was the last thing on my mind when I crossed the street… I never thought I get hit by Truck Kun. I am pretty sure I did not survive that.

/\

Opening my eyes, I looked at the ugliest thing I ever laid my eyes on. A big black thing was kissing me, it released me, dropping me after that kiss. What the hell? My whole being reacted to that… that… whatever that thing is, I raised my arms in front of me, to push it away. I felt something burning inside of me, I wanted the burning feeling to get out of my body. Unconsciously I pushed the burning feeling to my arms, in one hand I had a piece of wood, the burning feeling rushed through it.

White-hot flames came out of that piece of wood, setting the black whatever on fire. Another one was next to it, I turned to it, still spouting white flames out of that stick.

Now both things were set on fire, shrieking they turned away... floating away? They didn't get far though, after fifty yards they turned into a pile of ash. Walking cautiously over there, I spread the ashes with my foot, I noticed two medallions and some bones. These are monsters? And these are their drops? Am I in a game?

I picked the medallions up, on one side it read: Ministry of Magic, on the other side: Askaban… the stick in my hand looked a lot like a wand. A boy my age was getting up, a big fat boy. In the distance I could see an old batty woman running to me, waving a carpet bag to us.

Alright, that truck did a number on me. How in God's name did I end up here? This is Harry bloody Potter! Worse, it is book five, so snake face is back alive, and I am Harry fucking Potter?

Don't tell me, I am in a coma? Fuck, they put me next to grandpa? Nurse Granger is going to give me sponge baths? Daphne is going to read smutty books to me? Crap, this sucks.

/\

The batty old woman, Mrs. Figg I suppose, came closer yelling to me to keep my wand out. A stupid comment, I was still holding it in my hand. Dudley stood up, shaking on his legs. The medallions went in my pocket, I will hold on to those, some of the bones too. It will serve as evidence for the hearing later.

"Dudley, breath slowly in and out, focus, the bad things are gone, now, gather your fighting spirit, so we can walk home. You are too heavy for me to lift you. " Meanwhile Figg was cursing Mundungus Fletcher for abandoning his post. I was curious though, it always was a hot topic at home between mum and grandpa. Mum supporting Dumbledore is a good guy, grandpa supporting Dumbledore is a criminal and child abuser. Well… there is one way to find out.

"So, you are a witch too? Why didn't you say something?" Mrs. Figg cringed at my question.

Figg: "I am not a witch Harry, I am a squib, I was put here to keep an eye on you, sorry I had to pretend not liking to have you over, or they wouldn't do it again." Points for grandpa on this one.

"So you knew they treated me bad? That they hate me, never allow me a happy moment to myself? Why didn't you tell someone? Who put you here anyway?"

Figg: "I know they are treating you bad Harry, I told Dumbledore numerous times, but he said it was for your own safety to live there." Dumbledore thinks about my safety, half-point to mum.

"So, he knew that I have been sleeping in the cupboard under the stairs? For ten years? Getting table scraps to eat? Beatings at accidental magic?" Dudley was still dazed, but was listening to our conversation.

Figg: "I told him Harry, but he would not listen. He said it was the safest spot for you in Britain."

"Tell him about the attack but not about this conversation Mrs. Figg, it will get you in trouble with him. I will get my own answers from him." The memories from Harry joined with mine along the way, it was making my head pound. At the house, Petunia watched us approaching the door, and opened it, glaring at me she asked: "What have you done to my Dudley you freak? Duddikins? What has he done to you?" Figg was running to her house to warn Dumbledore.

"I saved his life, that is what I did. We were attacked in the park by dementors. I destroyed them both. So you better show some gratitude." The owls from the ministry, Mr. Weasley, Sirius, and Dumbledore gave their messages.

It was strange to see all the conversations happening exactly as in the book. Vernon wanting to slap me around, the owls, and Dumbledore's howler. This got me thinking, how the hell did they get here so fast? We were just a few minutes in the house, the walk home lasted ten minutes tops. So they write a letter, walk to the owlery, tie it to a leg, and send it off to me. Do those birds teleport? There is no way they can get here so fast.

What I do know now, that I am going to screw canon. I am not going to wait like a pig in a slaughterhouse. I followed the discussions between mum and grandpa, so I have several options to chose from. Now I have to mess with their minds.

"Enough! Uncle, I am leaving this place for good. I suggest you move too, on the hearing, my living conditions will be brought up, once they hear about the cupboard under the stairs, they will visit you."

Vernon: "What do you mean boy? Are you threatening me?" Petunia paled at my comment.

"It is not a threat uncle. What you put me through is a crime, in the wizarding world and in yours. Or do you think it is normal to let a child sleep in a cupboard under the stairs? Feed me table scraps? If the wizarding police get their hands on you, I don't think you will survive a year in their prison." I looked at Petunia who was shaking like a leaf.

"Aunt Petunia, I estimate you have a week, maybe two. Make the best of it." Upstairs, I started packing, I released Hedwig and told her to fly to Diagon Ally, and wait there for me. I paused, what am I thinking? Taking the knight bus? Hell no! I will capitalize on my knowledge of the story.

"Dobby? Can you come over?" Dobby popped in: "Master Harry Potter sir called Dobby?"

"Dobby, I was thinking, I need help, can I hire you? Make you my elf?" Dobby had almost steam coming out of his ears.

Dobby: "Master Harry Potter sir wants Dobby?" Of course, I want Dobby, he is loyal and adores me.

"Only if you want to Dobby, or can I hire you for two months. With pay of course." Now I am channeling grandpa. Take all the advantages you can think of, screw canon, only fools wait for that disaster to happen.

Dobby: "Dobby wants to be Master Harry Potter sirs elf sir. Dobby wants it very much."

I smiled: "How do we do this Dobby? Do I have to say something or write a contract?"

Dobby blushed: "Dobby already have bonded with master Harry Potter sir. When master Harry Potter sir freed Dobby from the bad master, Dobby needed another master, or Dobby would die, so Dobby bonded with master Harry Potter sir when Dobby hugged Master Harry Potter sir." Man, that is a lot of masters and sirs.

"Dobby, just call me Harry, or master Harry, Harry sir, or master Potter. Now I remember Winky, how is she? Does she have a new family?"

Dobby's ears dropped: "Master Harry, Winky is feeling bad, the magic from Hogwarts, is been keeping Winky alive, but Winky wants a family, she be dying soon." Alright, advantage number two.

"Dobby can you bring Winky here? I will take her in my family, so you won't be alone." With a pop Dobby was gone, within a minute he was back with Winky in his arms. The poor thing was in a bad shape.

I looked at her and asked: "Winky, do you want to be an elf for House Potter? Do you want to be a proper elf again?" Dazed she made eye contact with me, some of my talks seeped through in her mind.

Winky: "Yous be wanting Winky for House Potter? Yous wanting bad Winky?"

I smiled at her: "Only if you want it too, you will be working alongside Dobby. I will visit Gringotts today and see if I have some buildings to live in. Winky, do you want to be an elf for House Potter?"

Winky straightens up: "Winky wants to be an elf for House Potter."

I laid my hand on her head: "I accept Winky in House Potter, for as long as she wants." There was a flash of light, I wonder how I missed that when Dobby bonded with me.

"Winky, pack my things here, take them along with you. Dobby, now, can you bring me to Diagon Ally at Gringotts doorstep? Rent a room at the leaky cauldron under a fake name, here are some galleons to pay in advance, make the name Clark Kent, see that you can remove all tracking spells from my things. Winky, put the trunk in there, and get cleaned up." Goodbye Privet drive, see you never again. I nicked a hoody from Dudley to hide my scar.

/\

Dobby popped me at the doorstep of Gringotts, I hurried inside and looked for a free goblin. A counter got free, so I approached the teller.

"Good day master teller, is it possible to talk to my account manager? The name is Harry Potter." Yeah like I was going to follow grandpa on his ridiculous greetings.

The Goblin teller kept his cool: "Do you have your vault key?" Crap, it was with the Weasleys.

"No, I don't have my key, it is with the family that I stayed with last year on the holiday."

Teller: "Then I need a drop of blood to confirm your identity." A prick later, I was put in a waiting room. Ten minutes later an old Goblin came in.

Old Goblin: "Mister Potter, why did you wait for years to come in here? We have been sending owls, and you never responded." Grandpa is winning the argument with mum. Evil Dumbledore it is.

"Well account manager who never introduced himself, I never got any mail from here, the first letter that I received was my Hogwarts letter. I suppose you go and talk to Dumbledore."

Old Goblin: "Mister Potter, apologies, my name is Skinscraper, I have been managing Potter accounts for over thirty years. I will have a talk with Dumbledore. Now, what can I do for you?" This will need some thoughts, I have to channel grandpa here.

"First, I want to confirm some things. I am muggle-raised, so I don't know any rules or traditions of the wizarding world and the Goblin nation. They said my name is an old one, what does this mean? Am I a Lord or something? Then, I was forced to compete in the Tri-wizard tournament, a tournament meant for adults. So am I declared an adult by that?"

Skinscraper raised his eyebrow: "That is the duty of the parents, Godfather, or magical guardian to teach you the workings of your house and the wizarding world. House Potter goes back for more than two thousand years, it is a Most Ancient and Most Noble House. It has two votes in the Wizengamot. I believe Dumbledore has the proxy votes now. You are the last of your House, so you can claim emancipation on your fifteenth birthday. Being forced to compete in the Tri-wizard cup does indeed make you an adult.

The rules said that participants under age need permission from their parents or guardians. I looked the rules up when I found out that you had to compete, I send an owl with my findings to you." God dammed, very evil Dumbledore. He better not come too close to me, grandpa taught me karate from age five, I don't need a stick to do damage. I am going to follow grandpa's path here.

"Now, how do I claim my Lordship? And my parents will, I want to know what is in it."

Skinscraper answered: "You need a witness from the ministry and the Goblin nation except me. Wait a moment, I will see if someone is free, at this hour there are always ministry officials in the hall."

"Check if they are death eaters, I don't want them to find out. If possible Madam Bones." He nodded and went to the entrance hall. He knew the department heads came to settle the accounts around this time.

/\

He spotted Madam Bones, she was accompanied by two girls. Skinscraper approached her and with a whispering voice: "Madam Bones, can you be a witness to a claiming of a Lordship? The person in question specifically asked for you. You can bring the young ones along with you, Madam Bones, this is a very important moment, some strange forces are working here, and you are best to deal with it."

Madam Bones: "You made me curious account manager, Susan, Hannah, come with me, we can always come back. This sounds important, and you can learn from this experience." In passing, Skinscraper whispered something in the ear of a messenger and led the three witches to his office. On the way, Madam Bones explained to the girls what was going to happen.

Madam bones: "We are going to be a witness to the claiming of a Lordship. There has to be an official from the Ministry present, and one from the Goblin nation, except for the Lord's account manager, usually it is the supervisor. This surprises me however, there wasn't going to be a claiming this year." The girls were excited about this opportunity, this does not happen every day.

Skinscraper opened the door from his office and let the females in, Susan and Hannah were speechless when they saw Harry Potter. I stood up and gave a bow, already recognizing Susan and Hannah, so this must be Madam Bones. The girls were looking good though, especially Susan grew bigger in the upper body department.

"Good day Madam Bones, Miss Bones, Miss Abbot, thank you for willing to witness my claim."

Madam Bones was surprised: "Mister Potter, I did not know that you were seventeen years old, care to explain it to me?" she could already guess, but the girls need to know why.

"Certainly Madam Bones, I am an adult. Two different things merit that. The Tri-wizard tournament was meant for adults, I was forced into competing by my so-called magical guardian, so he declared me fit to do an adult job. Second, I am the last of my line, so I can claim emancipation at fifteen, which was a couple of days ago. If you have some spare time after the claiming I like for you to witness the reading of my parents' will. A will that was illegally blocked by Dumbledore." She nodded at my request. The doors opened and some big Goblins came inside, I noticed Madam Bones stiffening, these guys were not simple. I better cut back on the funny comments.

Skinscraper: "Mister Potter, Madam Bones, Miss Bones, and Miss Abbot, I am honored to introduce our account director of the London branch, Lord Ragnar. This claiming is important enough to have him witness it. Lord Ragnar, This is Mister Harry Potter, soon Lord Potter. He is here to claim his Lordship, but there are many irregularities on his account and life. He claimed to have never received any letter from us. Last year he was forced to compete in that tournament, I send a letter on how he could get out of it without losing his magic. His magical guardian had just to declare he was not permitted to compete. Dumbledore forced him to compete in that tournament when he knew it took only a few words from him." I thought about that.

"No he could not, he is not my legal magical guardian. That would be Sirius Black, my godfather."

Madam Bones: "That can't be Mister Potter, when you go to Askaban, you lose all rights and positions for the duration of your stay there. You lose it after the conviction."

"Madam Bones, first, My godfather did not betray my parents, that was Peter Pettigrew. And my godfather was never convicted because they never gave him a trial. I witnessed Peter Pettigrew being alive at the end of my third year, I even told minister Fudge, he didn't even listen to us, too eager to have Sirius kissed by a dementor.

Dumbledore knows it too, but he refuses to do anything, if he does, then he loses his grip on me. Sirius is Lord Black, the reason Fudge wants him dead is that Malfoy junior is the next one in line, and Malfoy is greasing the pockets of Fudge for years. But we are going off-topic here, how do I claim my Lordship?" Ragnar grinned, this is turning out better than expected.

Ragnar: "Raise your wand, and claim your lordship in your own words. If the claim is valid, the ring will appear on your finger. If not, there will be one more attempt possible, after that, you lose all claims to the lordship." Now I am going to channel grandpa, and screw the wizarding world a new one.

"I Harry James Potter, Claim the lordship of the Most Ancient and Most Noble House of Potter. I ask to be judged by magic." Tadaa! A ring appeared on my finger, the enchants on it sprung alive, and several flashes went off all over my body. Madam Bones raised her eyebrow, dropping her monocle.

Madam Bones: "The ring removes tracking spells and monitoring charms, Lord potter, that was a lot of them." Meh, let us go grandpa style.

"I have another claim if you allow me, Lord Ragnar?"

§I Lord Harry James Potter, claim hereby the Lordship of the Most Ancient and Most Noble House of Slytherin, by blood and right of conquest. I ask to be judged by magic!§ Some tense seconds and Slytherins ring appeared on my finger. Another set of flashes. I felt my mind cleared of a burden.

"Well, I was the heir of Slytherin after all. Lord Ragnar, I am on a roll now, I have two other claims, do you permit it?" Ragnar's grin became wider and wider: "Go ahead Lord Potter, you are brightening my day already."

We go all out now: "I Lord Harry James Potter-Slytherin, claim hereby the lordship of Griffindor by blood, valor, and achievement. Let Magic be the judge of me!" It took almost a half minute, but the ring went on. Susan and Hannah, stood there slack-jawed, watching me claim Lordship after Lordship.

"Lord Ragnar, I have one left, but I expect there is a curse on it. It is the Gaunt ring. Can you have a curse breaker standby please?" A few commands set everything in motion, ten minutes later, a few old goblins entered the room.

I got an idea: "Lord Ragnar, this scar is a curse scar, can someone examine it? I was attacked by dementor's today and got kissed by one" That got them yelling and screaming. The girls did the screaming. Well, I was channeling grandpa, sorry mum, but in this universe, Dumbledore sucks big time.

Ragnar: "You got kissed by a dementor? How are you alive?"

"I do not know, the bastard stole my first kiss too. I killed that thing for it. I was saving it for someone special." I glanced at the girls, they blushed bright red.

Madam Bones: "Someone special?"

"Yeah, more specifically, female and around my age." Another glance and the color deepened. Buttering up to pretty girls is always a good idea.

Ragnar: "Wait a moment, you killed a dementor? Those are supposed to be impossible to kill."

I smiled, while I took my loot out: "Well, this is what is left from it." and I showed the bones and medallions to Madam Bones and Ragnar.

Madam Bones: "Those are ministry control medallions. Those dementors were sent from the ministry. Only a few have access to them. Lord Potter, can I have these as evidence? Lord Ragnar is witness that you gave it to me."

"Be my guest Madam Bones, you have the reputation of being honest, so I trust you. But we are diverting again, can someone inspect my scar please?" Grandpa told me, always try to over bluff my opponents, with words or actions.

An old Goblin waved his knife over my head, got an angry expression on his face, and started cursing. He was yelling at Ragnar, poking his knife in all directions, to stay safe, I took a few paces back.

Ragnar: "Lord Potter, we are surprised you are even alive, you have the residue of a Horcrux behind your scar. Bonebreaker here said the Horcrux was sucked out by the dementor. I suspect that Horcrux saved your life." I have to play stupid now, knowing what a Horcrux is, will raise suspicion.

"I will be surprised too if I only knew what a Horcrux is. I suspect it is something from Voldemort, I have this scar for as long as I can remember."

Ragnar looked at Madam Bones: "Madam Bones, are the young misses allowed to hear this?" Madam Bones looked at the girls, they straightened up and showed that they wanted to know. She nodded at Ragnar. Brave girls, I like them already.

Ragnar started to explain: "A Horcrux, is the vilest of all evil magic. It is soul magic that tears the soul apart and stores a piece of it in a container. To do that, you have to torture and kill an innocent life, meaning a child under three years, or members of your own family. Not only that, you have to enjoy the act, wanting to do the vile actions. That will tear the soul apart, and with a ritual, that piece will be stored in an enchanted container. I suspect Voldemort wanted you to be the victim for a Horcrux, Lord Potter." I have to build on that.

"I met him when he possessed a teacher in my first year, it was connected to professor Quirrel's head. I killed it when I touched him, he burned to ashes, and the wraith floated away. In my second year, I met Voldemort again, Malfoy senior planted a cursed diary in Ginny Weasley's books, she became possessed too and released the basilisk, the one that was dormant in the chamber of secrets. After I killed the basilisk, I stabbed the diary with a basilisk fang. There came black ooze out the book and a scream from Voldemort. He told me his real name there too." Grandpa was right, piling on the revelations, one after another was lots of fun.

The room was going crazy with my statements. Casually telling them you killed a basilisk in my second year, the knowledge he made another one, was making the old goblins go berserk.

"The last Lordship that I want to claim, is that of House Gaunt, from Voldemort's mothers' side. At the third task, he was bragging that he killed his father and grandparents. His name is Tom Marvolo Riddle, I looked it up, and the Gaunts' last Lord was Marvolo Gaunt, he had a daughter, Merope Gaunt, a squib. I suspect that ring has some nasty curses on it. So by your leave Lord Ragnar? I Harry James Potter-Slytherin-Griffindor, claim hereby the Lordship of the Ancient House of Gaunt by right of blood, and conquest. Let Magic be the judge of me."

I was taking a risk, summoning a Horcrux on my finger is all kinds of crazy. A minute passed, then the ring appeared on my finger, the other three rings were shielding me from the curse, I took the ring off and dropped it on the floor. The old goblins circled around it, waving their daggers over the ring, they began cursing again. After ten minutes a black cloud left the ring with a scream.

Ragnar cursed: "That gets the count on three Lord Potter, that man is completely crazy."

"It can get worse, Lord Ragnar, If Voldemort gives a Horcrux to Malfoy, it means he has more stashed away. I guess Bellatrix has one too, she was his lieutenant, along with Malfoy senior. I would check her houses and vaults."

I picked the ring up, asked it was safe to equip it. After confirmation, I put the ring on. Should I claim Peverell too? Grandpa was using that to do his spin-offs. Nah, I haven't got the wand yet. I would give the memories if I knew how to do it. Now, what do we wreck next? Ahah, the will.

"Skinscraper, can you get the will please? Madam Bones, Lord Ragnar, can you represent your offices with this reading?"

Skinscraper opened the will, and started to read:

Last will of Lord and Lady Potter / Evans 27 October 1980

All previous wills are hereby forfeit.

Well, if this is read, we are both dead, probably killed by Voldemort.

To set things straight, we are going in hiding under a fidelius charm, our secret keeper will be Peter Pettigrew, and we will use Sirius Black as a decoy, under protest of my wife that is.

To our friends we leave:

To Sirius Black 100 000 galleons and 10 000 annually to take care of Harry as sworn Godfather. Keep him save Sirius, let Alice help if it's too much

To Alice Longbottom nee Brown 100 000 and 10 000 annually if Sirius is not able to as sworn Godmother, let Harry and Nevvy be best of friends

To Remus Lupin 50 000 and our cottage at the seaside, you know where it is.

To Peter Pettigrew 50 000 and the apartment you are renting in London, Dumbledore recommended you, and we trust you too. If it is proved you betrayed us, everything is void.

To Andromeda Tonks nee Black, 20 000 for my favorite niece

To Nymphadora Tonks, Harry's favorite babysitter, 10 000 at the age of 17, or marriage

To Amelia Bones 10 000 we heard of the attack, take care of Susan, I hope she can be friends with Harry

To Veronica Greengrass nee Rivers 10 000 I hope Harry and little Daphne can be friends to

The list goes on with friends and shopkeepers and 1 other stand out

To Albus Dumbledore 50 000 and 5 000 annually for the order, for casting the fidelius and keeping us safe.

Now we have the reason Dumbels blocked the will. If he knew I was here, he will be shitting bricks.

The last nail in his coffin followed.

For Harry's magical guardian, we have in descending order:

Sirius Black, Godfather by ritual.

Alice Longbottom nee Brown, Godmother by ritual.

Andromeda Tonks nee Black.

Veronica Greengras nee Rivers.

Amelia Bones.

If nobody above is able or willing, to take care of Harry, he can be adopted into a magical family, only if they swear a magical oath, not to belong or sympathize with Voldemort and his death eaters.

If none is found, a magical or muggle orphanage.

Harry is never ever to be placed with my sister, she hates magic, and after a few pranks from Sirius at our wedding, she and her husband hate us, and all about magic.

For the Guardian on the muggle side, we select Theodore Tonks, our lawyer, and assign 4 000 Annually

At the end

Witnesses :

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore

Griphook

/\

"Well, if I kill that old bastard, will I get arrested? That Griphook was the first goblin I met, he guided me to my vault, I suspect he is working for Dumbledore."

Ragnar fuming: "Not anymore, we have our way to get some answers, and we will get them from him." some guards left the room.

"Madam Bones? I would have loved to live with you and have Miss Susan as a sister. I do not know Miss Greengrass, only from classes, but I never noticed that she had those buttons pinned on. I was dropped on the doorstep of my aunt Petunia, with a letter, that they had to take care of me.

I know, because with every beating I got, after accidental magic, my uncle was raging about that even the freaks didn't want me. At the end of my first year, I asked Dumbledore to stay in the castle, because my relatives don't want me. Every year he sends me back to that place.

Today, I have left that home, and won't be going back. I do not want them arrested, they were victims too, being forced to live with a being that scares them. After the dementor attack, I got an owl telling me that I will get expelled, and my wand will be broken. Then, after an intervention from Dumbledore, there will be a hearing.

I doubt that idiotic minister will listen to reason, I heard that undersecretary of him is worse than a death eater, I won't be surprised she is the one that sent those dementors to me." I looked around and told the last item.

"On the night of the third task, Barty Crouch Junior, sabotaged the portkey of the trophy, and I got transported to Little Hangleton, on a graveyard, where Peter Pettigrew did a necromancer ritual, he used the bones of Voldemort's father, Peter's flesh, freely given, and my blood, forcefully stolen. That ritual gave Voldemort a new body. He gave a speech, waiting for his {imperioused} followers to come. Madam Bones, there are a lot of them. Or very influential or working in the ministry. Fudge didn't want to believe me, he had Barty kissed before any interrogation could be done by Aurors, Dumbledore had questioned him under veritas serum. Well… that is all that I have. What do I do now? I have rented a room in the leaky cauldron under a false name. Skinscraper, do I have houses? Apartments? A cave?"

Madam Bones was the first to snap out of it: "You will be living with me Lord Potter, as in your parents will. Can you provide that memory?"

"How on earth do I do that? It is inside my head!"

Madam Bones: "We can extract a copy of your memory. Concentrate on the memory that you want to extract, put your wand to your temple and think about pulling the memory out." Here goes nothing, I did just as I was told, I concentrated on the memory, from the talk to share the first place, and taking the trophy, until I got back, slowly I pulled some silvery thing out of my ear. Pretty disgusting if you think about it. I put it in a vial and gave it to Madam Bones.

Ragnar commented: "We can look at it here, we have one that can project the images above the pensive." Madam Bones was curious as well. We moved to a bigger room, we gathered a lot of attention, soon the room was filled with spectators.

I sat between Susan and Hannah: "Miss Susan, miss Hannah, it will not be a happy show. In this memory Cedric will get killed, there will be torture and fighting." They nodded and took my hands. The memory started, Cedric's death, so casually dismissed. The ritual, Voldemort's speech, and the death eaters. Madam Bones was watching it like a hawk, imprinting the names to memory. Half of the time, the girls had their faces buried in my arms. After it ended I decided to show the basilisk kill, maybe I get some money out of it. From the fraud Lockhart, until I stabbed the diary, and Ginny woke up. I noticed Bill Weasley in the audience, looking at me with a complicated expression.

I beckoned him closer, when he sat next to Hannah, I told him: "Bill, tell your family to cut ties with Dumbledore, or they will go down with him. I like your family, they were the first that made me feel welcome, even if it was on orders from Dumbledore. I have enough evidence against that old goat to put him in Askaban. He played God with my life, and I bet he has your family in a death grip as well. Let me guess, he is giving scholarships to your brothers and sister, and said it was not exactly above the table? Tell your dad that I will pay for your brothers and sisters' education. If they ever want to pay it back, they can, free of interest."

Bill: "What happened today Harry? The whole order is looking for you. We asked your relatives but they were packing and talking about leaving the country?"

"What order Bill? Why would they care about me? I was in my room for a whole month, without you caring about me, one meal a day, not even enough to fill my stomach. Every night I have nightmares about what happened at the third task. Where were you? Then dementor's attacked me and Dudley, Some Mundungus had some cauldron business while he was supposed to guarding me. Now tell me, Bill, didn't they notice how I was treated? They were sitting on our lawn for a month, are they blind? Stupid? Is it funny to look at me getting abused? That old bastard even had the nerve to tell Hermione and Ron not to write, and if they do, not telling me anything. Tell that order to fuck of and die." I showed my lord ring to Bill: "Tell the old goat his days of playing god are over. His puppet will not dance at his tune anymore." The show was over. I asked loudly if they want another one. The Goblins cheered. So I showed the troll, Quirrel, the spiders, freeing Dobby, the dementor's, the first task.

It was late in the evening when we left Gringotts. Madam Bones, fuming at the teaching staff of that madhouse. I told her about my house-elves, who were waiting for me at the leaky cauldron.

Madam Bones: "We apparate to my house, you can call on your elves there. Then I add you to our ward stone."

"Madam Bones, my presence at your house will put You, miss Susan, and miss Hannah at risk, tomorrow I will see if I have some properties to live in. You are already a target, for being strict and fair. I don't want to bring extra danger to your door." Although picturing Susan and Hannah in their nighties, makes it tempting to stay here.

Madam Bones: "I can't force you Lord Potter, but I prefer that you live with us for now, until September. You can always find a home at the end of your Owl year. Addy, Biddy, can you come, please? Can you bring the girls home, I will take Lord Potter." They nodded and popped away with the girls. Madam Bones grabbed my arm and apparated me to her home. Bloody crap! That was nasty, the feeling that you were pulled through a tube, as in the cartoons, was awful. Susan and Hannah guessed it was my first time and were giggling at my expression.

Madam Bones: "You can call your elves, while I add you to our wards."

"Dobby, Winky? Can you check out the Leaky Cauldron, and bring everything here? We will be staying here for a month. Try to get along with the local elves. They look nice." They nodded, Winky was already looking better. When I was added to the wards, I was led inside.

"Madam Bones, is it possible to get something to eat? I only ate this morning, and am a bit hungry." Getting kissed, and the time I spend in Gringotts made me forget it, but now it was back with a vengeance. Susan and Hannah led me to the kitchen and let their elves prepare some food.

Madam Bones: "apologies about that Lord Potter, I should have realized you were hungry."

"No need to apologize Madam Bones, and please, everyone, call me Harry, I have yet to get used to all that Lord stuff. I only claimed them to get my freedom and keep it." A few sandwiches later I felt a lot better. I introduced Dobby and Winky.

"As I said earlier, I will visit Gringotts tomorrow and see if there are some places to live in. Dobby and Winky can prepare them to live in. they also are allowed to help out here, and assist your house-elves. I don't know much about the wizarding world, the rules and traditions are strange to me, nobody told me anything. So if I do something wrong, tell me about it please." That will cover all my bases.

Susan and Hannah looked at each other, Susan: "Don't worry Harry, we will tutor you on our customs."

I smiled at them: "Thank you both, it will help a lot." Addy showed me my room, Bones manor was big, three floors, with a lot of rooms. My room had a bathroom connected to it, so I was finally away from the Dursleys.

In bed, my mind went over the day's events. Killing a dementor, instead of chasing it away with a Patronus changed the timeline. There are some suspicious similarities with grandpa's fan fiction. Is Tracey reading grandpa's fan fiction to me now? The Lordships, the will, it was almost word for word the same. Evil Dumbledore, although if you think about it, what normal man put a baby on a doorstep, at night in November? Never checking upon him? Letting him abused and starved for ten years? No matter the excuse, the abuse, and malnutrition could be avoided with a few house calls. He deliberately allowed Harry to be abused. Anyway, if he gets in my reach, then his wand will be mine, probably several of his bones will be broken, some nuts will be cracked, and his lemon drops will go the wrong way up.

While thinking about revenge I fell asleep.