8 CH 8: Scenarios and incorrects
<I'm going to make these chapters at the end of every ark. Enjoy. By the way, definitely read the last one. I feel like that's the best one đ>
------------------------------------
(How Chaos made Natasha agree to being his host)
Clint, who met Chaos and is leaving :"Alright, you two, goodbye. Take care and please don't bite people at random. Inform me when you make a decision as to whether to keep him or not."
Natasha, from the living room :"Bye, Clint."
Clint :"*Unholy screeching*"
Natasha :"WHAT THE FUCK?!"
Chaos, coming out of her side :"Heh, it worked."
Natasha :"What did you do?!"
Clint :"WHY IS THERE A LEGO PIECE IN MY SHOE?!!??!"
Natasha :"*Fist bumping Chaos* Happy to be working with you from now on, partner."
------------------------------------
(When Chaos got annoyed with Natasha and decided to make her suffer)
Natasha, crying :"Please... PLEASE fucking stop!"
Chaos, who just "learned" what Fortnite dances are :"Never! *Continuous to dance while inside of Natasha's body*"
------------------------------------
(Chaos, doing what should be done #1)
Natasha, watching a house burn :"Why did we just burn this house for no reason?"
Chaos, dead serious :"Spider-Man: No More Home."
------------------------------------
(Chaos, doing what should be done #2)
Steve :"*Sneezes*"
Chaos, with a hand on Steve's shoulder :"*Whispering* God bless America."
Steve :"..."
------------------------------------
(Food #1)
Chaos :"(Natasha, I want a kid's meal!)"
Natasha :"No, you're a grown ass alien."
Chaos :"(But that human got one!)"
Natasha :"Yeah because that's a child, Chaos!
Peter :"Look, Mr Stark my toy is Iron Man!
------------------------------------
(Food #2)
Natasha :"Hey, man what do you wanna eat?"
Chaos :"THE SOULS OF THE INNOCENT!"
Natasha :"A bagel."
Chaos :"NOOOOO!"
Natasha :"Two bagels."
------------------------------------
(Food #3)
Natasha :"I'll have..."
Chaos :"(Human kidneys.)"
Natasha, done with the world :"A pepperoni pizza."
Chaos :"(...)"
Chaos :"(Is that alive?)"
Natasha :"... No."
Chaos :"(THEN PICK SOMETHING ELSE!)"
------------------------------------
(Messing around)
Chaos :"Natasha. Hey, Natasha."
Natasha :"What?"
Chaos :"Look at me."
Natasha :"*Looks*"
Chaos :"..."
Chaos :"Bitch."
------------------------------------
(Can't sleep)
Natasha, lying in bed :"Chaos."
Chaos :"(*Groaning* What...?)"
Natasha :"I can't sleep."
Chaos :"(I can. Goodnight.)"
Natasha :"..."
Natasha :"Listen here, you little shit."
------------------------------------
(Texting)
Chaos, texting :"{Bitch.}"
Natasha :"{*Blocking him*}"
Chaos, speaking :"Wait unblock me. I need to tell you something."
Natasha :"{*Unblocking him*}"
Chaos :"{Bitch.}"
------------------------------------
(The weak should fear the strong)
Chaos :"(Natasha, do the thing.)"
Natasha :"No, Chaos."
Chaos :"(But I read it's a sign of victory!)"
Natasha :"I'm NOT going to T-pose on these headless corpses!"
Chaos :"(Lame ass pussy.)"
------------------------------------
(Argument)
Chaos, yelling at Natasha :"(Dumb little bitch! I've reminded you to get tater tots on our way home 15 fucking times and you still forgot?! Piece of shit! Useless scum of the Earth!)"
Natasha :"..."
Natasha :"Parasite."
Chaos, voice breaking :"(You take that back. You take that back Right Now!)"
------------------------------------
(Comforting)
Natasha :"I'm sad..."
Chaos :"(Don't be sad Natasha. Because sad backwards is das.)"
Natasha :"..."
Chaos :"(And das not good.)"
Natasha :"..."
Natasha :"*Smiling* You really know what to say sometimes."
------------------------------------
(Comforting?)
Natasha :"I'm crying. You made me cry.
Chaos :"Baby..."
Natasha :"Now is not the time for pet names!"
Chaos :"..."
Chaos :"I am calling you a baby."
Chaos :"I am insulting you."
------------------------------------
(What it feels like)
Clint :"So what's it like to have Chaos inside of you all the time?"
Natasha :"Being on your period. Your mind screaming at you that you're hungry all the time. Hot flashes. Vomiting. Inner voice telling you to bite everybody's head off but you know it's wrong. Body parts feel like it's broken then five seconds later you feel fine. Mood swings making you act like you're two different people."
------------------------------------
(Food #4)
Chaos :"*Comes out of Natasha's side. Trails his fingertips across Natasha under her jaw. Leans in, close to her ear.*"
Chaos :"*Whispering* Eat my pizza again and I'll show you why my name is Chaos."
------------------------------------
(Learning)
Text :"If you bite it and you die; it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die; it's venomous.
Chaos :"(What if it bites me and it dies?)"
Natasha :"That means you're poisonous. Jesus christ, Chaos, learn to read."
Chaos :"(What if it bites itself and I die?)"
Natasha :"It's voodoo."
Chaos :"(What if it bites me and someone else dies?)"
Natasha :"That's correlation, not causation."
Chaos :"(What if we bite each other and neither of us die.)"
Natasha :"That's kinky."
Chaos :"(... That's confusing.)"
------------------------------------
(Basically)
Natasha :"What hell are you...?"
Chaos :"I am Chaos, and YOU are MINE."
Natasha :"Well mark me down as concerned and horny!"
<Can you blame her though?>
------------------------------------
(Symbiotes)
Symbiotes be like :"You've heard of wearing your boyfriend's clothes now get ready for... Wearing your boyfriend!"
------------------------------------
(You take that back)
Chaos :"(*Smug* So how it feels to be a loser, huh?)"
Natasha :"Shut the fuck up or I'll buy you pineapple on pizza instead of chicken nuggets."
Chaos :"(For your own safety, I recommend you take that back.)"
------------------------------------
(Open up)
Clint :"Okay, open up."
Chaos :"Well, it all started when I was a tiny blob..."
Clint :"What? No, that's not what I-"
Natasha :"let him finish."
------------------------------------
(You care)
Natasha :"*Smirking* Admit it, you care about me."
Chaos :"(Natasha, I'd sell you to a demon for a single sunflower seed.)"
Natasha :"*Still smirking* Last week, you tore someone's jaw off because he cursed at me.
Chaos :"(THAT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING!)"
Natasha :"*Smirking smugly* Of course. Of course."
------------------------------------
(My time has come)
Chaos :"The time has come for me to return to my homeland. I must come to terms with the fact that I am no longer required here. I have led a good life on earth, but alas, my shattered heart belongs elsewhere. Somewhere where my presence is valued, where I'm not treated like vermin, where I'm actually respected for the fearsome creature I-
Clint :"Nat call you a parasite again?
Chaos, through tears :"TH RE E TIM ES!!"
------------------------------------
(Questions)
Natasha :"So yeah that's pretty much how me and Chaos handle bad guys. Any questions?
Avengers :"*raise their hand*"
Natasha :"Yes I can taste the heads and the taste depends. Some people taste like shit, while some taste like ham, chicken or whatnot."
(Everyone but Tony puts there hand down)
Natasha :"No it's not masturbation when me and Chaos have sex."
Tony :"*puts his hand down and hands Sam $50*"
------------------------------------
(Badass?)
Chaos :"I'm a bad motherfucker, mmkay? I'll eat HER head, I'll eat HIS head, I'll eat MY OWN head. I don't care about anything or anyone so fuck this planet and fuck you in particular you're sushi for the taking
Natasha :"*Walks in, slumps on the couch and looks at the ceiling while just barely not crying*"
Chaos :"
Chaos :"Look I'm the softest bitch you'll ever meet. All I wanna do is eat chocolate, marry this ball of insecurities and trauma of a human over there and have like six kids."
------------------------------------
(Pussy)
A blue whale's vagina is so big and deep that 5-6 men can easily lay down in it, making it the world's next biggest pussy after Natasha not letting Chaos go all tentacle play on her.
------------------------------------
(Divorce)
Natasha :"Listen you gotta stop eating folks.
Chaos :"(We want a divorce!)"
Natasha :"W-we're not even married!"
Chaos :"(AND WHO'S FAULT IS THAT?!)"
------------------------------------
(Let me sleep)
Natasha, trying to sleep at 3am: Chaos, my darling, my love, I beg you, please let me sleep, I have to write a report tomorrow."
Chaos, screaming in Natasha's mind :"(TELL ME WHY!! AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A HEAAARTACHEEEE!! TELL ME WHY!! AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A MIIISTAKEEEE!! TELL ME WHY!! I NEVER WANNA HEAR YOU SAAAYYY!! I! WANT! IT! THAT! WAY!!!)"
------------------------------------
(Back off)
Natasha :"I made this friendship bracelet for you."
Chaos :"(You know, I'm not really a jewelry person.)"
Natasha :"You don't have to wear it."
Chaos :"No, I'm gonna wear it forever. Back off."
------------------------------------
(The origin of the weak should fear the strong)
Chaos :"Children, how do we assert dominance among weaker beings?"
Shuri :"Easy, you T-pose."
Chaos :"What's that?"
Peter :"We'll show you :D."
(Later)
Natasha, pissed off as all hell :"PETER AND SHURI, WHAT DID YOU TWO TEACH CHAOS?!?!!!"
------------------------------------
(Best friends)
Chaos, talking to Venom on the phone :"So how do you piss off your human?"
Venom :"Talk so much in his head that when I don't talk, he starts freaking out."
Chaos :"Lol! That's sick, I'm gonna take notes on that one."
Venom :"How do you piss off yours?"
Chaos :"She HATES it when I take control of her body and force her to dance those cringe dances on the internet!"
Venom :"..."
Venom :"Explain! I feel like that one's going to be funny as hell to watch!"
Chaos :"Hahahaha! You have no fucking idea, bro! I just wheeze while she's cussing me out!"
Venom :"Lol! I bet my human will start crying just 30 seconds in!"
Chaos :"Lmnfao <Laughing My Nonexistent Fucking Ass Off>!! Update me on that when you've done it!"
Eddie, in another room :"*Starts sweating nervously for no reason*"
------------------------------------
(Best friends think alike)
Symbiotes :"Hello, Earth. We're here to eat you all!
Natasha Romanoff :"Hi."
Eddie Brock :"Hey."
Chaos and Venom :"We're actually going to marry these humans and betray our entire race for them."
------------------------------------
(I don't answer to that shit)
Natasha :"Hey, parasite, what do you want to eat tonight?"
Chaos :"(...)"
Natasha :"Sigh... Oh lord of darkness and king of Earth, Universe and Multiverse, Chaos, what would you like to feast upon tonight?
Chaos :"(Choco milky.)"
------------------------------------
(Supportive best friend)
Venom :"The point is, someone hit Eddie and we need to kill them.
Anne :"But that is illegal!"
Venom :"..."
Anne :"I'm fucking with you, I'm in."
Chaos :"Count us the fuck in! I ain't letting the fact that somebody hit the host and chaotic lover of ma best friend slide!"
Natasha :"Well, I guess I don't have much of a choice here."
Dan :"I'm in too, I heard the phrase "someone hit Eddie"." <And people hate the poor guy because Eddie can't move on from his ex>
------------------------------------
(Please)
Chaos :"Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate sometimes."
Natasha :"Please let me sleep it's been three days for fuck's sake."
------------------------------------
(Eat it)
Natasha :"I have a problem."
Chaos :"Eat it."
Natasha :"Can you chill for like, one second?"
------------------------------------
(Just saying) <Personal opinion>
<Real talk Dan was the real mvp of Venom. Girlfriend's ex boyfriend shows up on your doorstep looking for her? Doesn't act like a controlling possessive douche like so many other men in movies. Anne's ex boyfriend shows up AGAIN while they're on a date in a fancy restaurant, makes a scene and then crawls into the lobster tank? He's obviously sick so Dan takes him to the hospital where he can run tests and help him. Okay now Anne's ex boyfriend turns out to have been infected by a sentient alien parasite? He's got questions but all in all he rolls with it and doesn't do something stupid like rat them out like a character like him might have done in a different movie. Dan is the mvp and we stan>
------------------------------------
(Gone) <You had too much fun, time to balance things out>
(In Infinity War, after the snap)
Chaos shrieking in terror as Natasha starts turning into ash seeping out of his hands and tendrils as he desperately tries to wrap him in his embrace to keep him together :"Darling I-I think I'm dying Darling. I'm sorry...I love yo-"
(OR)
Natasha screaming out for Chaos when her body and mind become hollow watching as he fades from around her body as she can feel his fear and confusion as he realizes he is dying "Natasha! Don't let go of me please! Don't want to leave you, Natasha! Don't want to g-"
<Just kidding đ! Chaos is completely immune to Reality Manipulation, which The Snap also counts as one. So he, and his host, who is considered as a part of him, are completely fine>
