1 "I missed you too"

It was already late when I reached the airport. My flight was at 10 PM and I had only an hour and a half left to finish my boarding. I rushed through the elaborate procedures and walked towards the boarding gate that was only a few yards away from me. I sighed in relief when I saw they hadn't closed the boarding yet and a line waited for the bus to arrive. I quickly scooted over to join the end of the line carrying a small duffle bag.

Within moments, I had already gotten off the bus and started to walk towards the bent staircase leading to the plane's gate. Like cattle following the shepherd, I followed the long line through the steps and into the left aisle. The only good thing that could happen was having seats right up front. I could only be thankful for working in corporates that blew away money on undeservingly expensive flights and hotels. As the crowd kept pouring over me, I moved to a corner to find a break long enough to stuff my bag on the overhead counter.

As I turned to search for my seat, I caught sight of a man dressed in a blue pullover with familiar white headphones around his neck already in the seat next to the one I was supposed to sit. I couldn't get a glimpse of his face but I prayed that he turns out cute. As the crowd thinned, I managed to place the bag and finally turned toward my seat. That is when I got a good look at his face. A wave of shock and realization hit me as I stared at his beautiful familiar jawline and his thick unibrow that made the best of his face. I stood beside him trying to analyze my next possible move. I wonder why I took so long to recognize him.

Suddenly, he realized that someone was standing by him and looked up apologetically and our eyes finally met. His face changed shades within a flick of a finger.

"Wow! The day can't get much better" he murmured under his teeth.

"Hi", I said waving my hands awkwardly. I didn't know what I was feeling and I wasn't going to let him discern it either. I looked around and noticed pairs of old uncles already chattering and ordering drinks. It was a 12-hour flight to London and I had to choose a less annoying company. I was very inclined to ask the flight crew for a change of seat to avoid him but then it felt like cowardice. I didn't want to run away from him because of whatever happened in the past. In retrospect, we seemed better off without each other - being able to afford or at least working in a place that could afford trips to England. I quickly walked past him to my seat and settled down.

"For a moment, I thought you were gonna run", he said.

"Should I?" I stood up holding the edge of my seat and bounced back onto it and turned away.

"You've become sassy these days"

"Umm. Thanks" I cut him off without looking at him.

"I've been looking at your posts and stories all this time. You've changed"

"I know. But, you seem to have disappeared. I've waited so long for a message or a like, but you seemed very quiet and… controlled"

"We broke up for a reason isn't it Anu? Talking to you would only bring back all the things that I've wanted to forget"

I blushed in embarrassment. He was right. Being in touch wouldn't have done anything better for either of us. If not for hope, there was nothing left anyway.

"The last three years have been tough on me but I've moved on from the idea of us. You didn't reach out either so, you know what I'm talking about"

I nodded. "I couldn't dare to. I…"

"It's alright. We don't have to talk about it"

"But now we're stuck for a few hours" I shrugged.

"So, what's your business in London?" he asked shuffling in his seat.

"I'm head of marketing and sales now. I'm going on a one-trip to meet the team there." I smiled. "What about you?"

"I moved to London last year. I work for this gaming company now as a junior exec. I just came to India for my cousin's wedding and the trip got extended… unexpectedly" he pulled up his hands flashing the golden band on his finger.

"Wow!" I thought. "Congratulations!" I blurted trying as much as possible to hide my surprise but it seemed to fail. I sank back into my seat and wished to disappear into it.

The flight took off and we started drifting towards the white foam that surrounded us. Slowly, the lights around us started to dim and we were instructed to shut the windows to avoid the bright light. The darkness was just enough to fall asleep but I wouldn't. I was nervous beyond reason sitting next to him after all these years.

I grabbed the black headphones and inserted them into the port below the little screen in front of me and began searching for a good movie to watch. As I began scrolling through, I felt his eyes on my screen trying to judge my next move. I could remember some of the titles we had watched together. Though I wouldn't mind rewatching them again, I couldn't do that in front of him. I pressed on a random movie I had never heard of and leaned back in my seat.

That is when I heard wheels scraping behind me and a woman walked across us asking if we wanted something to drink. He waited for me to speak and I asked "Red wine, please" and he said "Apple juice, thanks" and smiled at her. I was taken aback. He was the one who taught me to drink. He was the one I had enjoyed drinking with on the little terrace outside his bachelor quarters and now he quit drinking, I wondered.

He grinned. "I still drink. Don't look so stressed. I'll order one later."

I shook my head and took my headphones off completely and hung them on the table in front of me.

"Aren't you unpredictable as always?" I said cocking my head to one side.

"That's who I am" and he flashed his ring again.

"What are you trying to achieve? Make me jealous Noel?"

"What would I do with making you jealous? If that could work, I would have done it a long time ago"

What was he trying to do? I thought it was going to be awkward but why was he acting like a straight jerk? "What do you want me to do with this information, Noel?". I folded my arms across my chest and tilted my head toward him.

"At least pretend to be happy about it"

"I don't even understand why you are expecting that from me. We are exes, all right? Though it didn't work out between us, I have reasons to stay upset"

"Really Anu? If you truly moved on, you would be happy for me"

"I AM happy for you. But that doesn't mean I have to be excited for you and jump up in happy tears"

"Oh. Never mind. I'm sorry to disturb you. Please carry on," he pointed at my screen and turned away.

"What the fuck now! Why are you acting weird?" I raised my hands in exasperation."We haven't met or spoken in so many years and the first thing you want to do is this… drama"

"This...is... drama.. what" he stammered. "Oh. I'm sorry to disappoint you. How did I forget? Isn't that why you left me?"

"Noel! Is that what you have been telling everyone? That I left you" I clutched my hands. "YOU know what happened. We were not right for each other. We would have fought like this every single day"

I sank back into my seat and only silence followed. We simmered in the muffled sounds of the engine. God, I missed yelling. What was I thinking? I wasn't going to let him win over me again.

"I missed you", came a voice just louder than a whisper. I turned to him and noticed his back curved with his chin touching his chest which hid his embarrassment. Those words ran like a jolt through my body lighting up the parts of my brain. I could not believe the words I just heard. Did I hear it right?

"I know this is confusing. Please don't misunderstand me. Honestly, I don't want anything to do with you ever again. But I just wanted to let you know" he said.

"You are just making this difficult for both of us. How do you want me to react, Noel?"

He slowly looked up at me in my eyes. It pierced my soul. "Did you ever miss me?" he asked.

I wondered if that was true. Did I ever miss him? I remember missing him the first 5 months after the breakup. I missed the long hours on phone, the stolen times spent in his room, bike rides to the beach, and secret kisses behind walls. I missed the way he teased me for everything I did. I missed how he made me laugh and cry at the same time. I missed his gentle touch and his whispers when he came closer. I could still remember that spark in his eyes and the slight grin to the left of his lip every time he made me smile. That was what I fell for.

"I missed you too"