Chapter 16 - Longing

Suited up in his brand new Giorgio Armani summer light grey jacket coupled with royal blue inside shirt and white pants slightly folded at the knee, gold Rolex on his wrist and donned in light citrus fragrance of Ralph Laurent Polo Ultra Blue cologne, Haruki was definitely prepared for the special occasion that day. He headed up to his car and started driving on the road. His complexion seemed to slightly brighten up once he navigated his GPS for Lucian's penthouse address.

It was a 'date'. 

Haruki had asked Lucian to go out with him today and Lucian unable to refuse since it was contracted in the pact of being 'sex friend'. As Haruki's sex friend, he had to agree to abide to the young yakuza leader's terms. Haruki chuckled as he could imagine how pissed of Lucian was when he remembered the event that happened at Artermis Cruise trip. Honestly, he did not like the term 'sex friend', deep inside; he wanted more in their relationship. However, Lucian might probably run away again if he forced himself even more. He has to put a lot more patience in his plan to enable Lucian to accept him slowly. It might be a long way to get Lucian back, but at least it did show some progress. He has been longing for him since the unintentional break up them had in the past.

It shouldn't be this way… He murmured inside his mind. 

As he kept thinking about Lucian, without realizing he finally arrived at the penthouse. He was stopped at the security post before he managed to enter the parking basement. Surprisingly, as famous he was, he was still needed to be registered to the security of the building. Lucian hired tighter security that gave no exception to anybody. Hence, to this date, Lucian had never encounter problems with outsiders or cases of breaking into the company. After all, he was an escort as well as working as a spy that definitely would bring upon many enemies. 

After he was done, he drove the car into the basement and parked safely. As he went outside, he halted to take a closer look at the penthouse suite. A five floor building decorated with modern brick architectures, mixed with some contemporary glass windows paired with garden balconies.  

"Hmm...Impressive! Just from the outer look, anyone would ever dream to have this building. I do not think even some celebrities would spend this much to get this kind of suite." 

He rang the door and was greeted by the maid. The maid guided him to the living room and he was inquired to wait there. Few minutes later, Lucian appeared but not in the image Haruki was hoping for. He was not impressed. As usual, Lucian wore a one piece dress which a bit tight and revealing; the kind of dress that he would wear when he met his clients. 

Haruki sighed. He knew at that time that he was treated as just another client by Lucian.

"What's up with that? …. And also, what's with your make up? He questioned in disappointment.

"It's my usual style. Anyway, why don't you look at yourself too? Is that the new Giorgio Armani summer collection? Are you just straight up stealing that from the designer brand runway fashion look last week?" Lucian looked from up to bottom as he could not believe Haruki has his time to suit up immensely for their date.

"Heh sissy would never understand men's fashion taste." Chaos threw some sarcasm to his boss. He was at the pool outside of the living room, sunbathing while playing mobile game.

"Sounds like you're having fun, huh? You better shut your mouth before I end your sunbathing with some cool water right there in front of you." He replied Chaos with some sharp remarks.

"So, you have become somewhat of fashion police now, Yuu-chan? I'm wearing something proper for our special date unlike certain someone," Haruki's tone voice sounds a bit pressuring. 

"I know more about fashion than someone who casually bought the full suit just by looking from the runway," Lucian replied.

Chaos laughter was heard from the pool side. "Fashion for whom I may ask?" It was indeed a direct question to Lucian.

"Chaos, if I heard more shits from you, I'll cut half of your salary and no free gaming wallet anymore." Lucian sounded stricter than before. 

He then looked straight at Haruki. Haruki got up closer to him.

"So, I assume you will change your clothes right?" Haruki insisted.

"This will be my final word. When I told you to abide to all my terms, I hope you'll do it for this one too. The dress you're wearing now is not suitable for the place we're about to go. Haa..I knew this would happen." He then handed a paper bag for Lucian.

"What is this?" Lucian frowned.

"Change your clothes to this. Sorry to disappoint you but we're not going out according to your usual date style. We're doing my way, a normal Japanese couple way." He smiled.

"Do you have any idea how much I spend for this clothes because of this silly date? And you're asking me to change after I spend hours to prepare?" Lucian got annoyed.

"If you care about your image in public, I suggest you to not wear that, especially at the place that I'm about to bring you to. Wear the one that I gave you. Don't worry about that skimpy clothes of yours, I'll pay for it." He moved his hands, making the gesture to get Lucian to change. 

"Ugh fine. I'll go change." Lucian sighed and he stormed back to his room.

"Phew, it's scorching hot today. Why do riches sunbathe anyway?" Chaos went inside the living room, fanned himself as he sweated a lot being under the sun.

Looking at Chaos nonchalantly resting on the couch, he blurted, "Are you seriously guarding him, Mr. Bodyguard? You seemed to neglect your responsibility from what I see here." 

"Hey, of course I've been watching him. Look, I've been nowhere but beside him since day one except today. You see…you don't want me to accompany him during your 'date', right? Since, you guys must have a lot that you want to catch up privately." Chaos made the hand gesture of quoting words, obviously making fun of Haruki.

"Good, I'm glad you get it. Thanks for your understanding." Haruki changes his tone to an agreement with Chaos. It was a fact that he did not want his date to be disturbed by anyone. 

"Stop making unnecessary noises in my penthouse." Lucian scolded both of them. He had just finished changing his clothes. Haruki was sort of gawking in awe when Lucian appeared in the new dress he gave. It was a simple summer flowery piece, an ivory square neck corset dress with pinched balloon skirt from Alexander Mcqueen. He perfected the dress with a simple black lace choker, a leather belt and a pair of black knee boots.

Haruki looked impressed by the overall image of Lucian with the new clothe. Lucian's body suited very well with Mcqueen dress piece. He kept nodding his head.

Yet, for Lucian, it was definitely not his style to dress modest and appropriate. Despite hating his recent look, he had to wear it because he had agreed to Haruki's term and conditions to go for 'date'. Plus he just wanted the date to end quickly.

"Now, it's perfect. You look so beautiful in that. I'm hoping you're alright with the style because it still got some sexiness especially the upper part of the dress." Haruki pointed his finger around the bare area of the chest. Lucian covered it and gave a menacing stare. 

'Rude', he thought.

"Sorry to disturb you two though, if I'm not needed for my job today, can I go back to my home now? I guess it must take days for you guys to be back too, right? Sex and stuff?" The bodyguard already dressed up, ready to leave.

"Owh, I never know that you have home? I thought you're a homeless man just like it shows in your face." Lucian chuckled.

"Haha, funny. Need to work more on that joke Lucian. At least I'm not the one who earns every sweats and tears to buy a house using my own body." He mocked back to the joke causing Lucian to lift his leg ready to kick Chaos. But, the bodyguard was faster than him as he quickly leaving those two together.

"Ugh! When can he stop with his nonsense insults? Now, what are we waiting again?" He turned to look at Haruki behind his back. As the silver haired realized, he quickly followed Lucian. He opened his car door for Lucian, a gentleman gesture to catch more attention of his 'ex-lover'. Later, he drove the car towards the open road.

Both of them remained silent inside the car. Haruki was focusing to drive while Lucian just watched the scenery outside. Sometimes, his eyes were sneakily checking on Haruki. He had not the slightest idea where this guy was going to take him. Was it straight to the hotel? But he did said they're going to do a common Japanese style couple date. Wait? What is Japanese style couple date? He basically could not think of anything of some sort. Though, the silence between them was enough to make him crazy. 

"I hope you don't mind if I smoke inside your car." Lucian took out his cigarette from the pack, ready to light it up. Haruki just nodded, his eyes still glued to the road. 

"So, where are we going anyway?" Lucian asked, blowing the grey ash from his lips. They've already passed on so many luxurious hotels that he knew, Haruki might not want to go to any hotels, he thought. 

"I'm glad you asked. Today we're going to have some fun; we are going to Amagi amusement park." 

Hearing Haruki said that was enough to make Lucian drop his jaw. "…You're not joking, aren't you?"

"No, I'm totally one hundred percent serious. Well honestly, this type of date is refreshing since I have never done it before. I find it as…exciting! Plus, the Amagi amusement park is near a ryokan too. They gave me discount coupon too." He smiled. 

Lucian rolled his eyes, felt a bit cringe looking at how excited Haruki's expression right now. "Whatever, you're better making sure it's not boring or else I'll just go home." He sighed after becoming less interested in knowing the plan.

"Oh, come on, we will definitely have a lot of fun there. Bet that you've also never try it before. Also- ", He stopped the car when they arrived at the destination.

"Oh, by the way, let's make small bet. Reward me if this date turns out to be everything except boring." Haruki slowly move closer to Lucian. Lucian was alarmed with the sudden mood change. They both stared at each other at a close distance.

"We're not even doing anything yet; you dare to ask for rewards? Try your best to entertain me then." Lucian gave a snobbish look. He went out and slammed the door with mild strength. Haruki smiled awkwardly because he did not expect such reaction from Lucian. He went out from the car and grabbed Lucian's hand and walked together to the park. At first, Lucian resisted, but he finally gave up after a few tries as Haruki won't let go his hand.

When is the last time I hold his hand...?

Lucian screamed with all his might when riding the roller coaster that goes up and down very steep slopes and around very sudden bends. Haruki was correct; he thought to himself, he never rides on one of the craziest roller coaster ever! He felt as if he was nearing death, the spins and turns almost gave him series of heart attacks. Meanwhile, beside him, Haruki seemed to be enjoying the ride. The ride lasted for ten minutes and when it finally stopped, Lucian quickly went out. He gasped a lot and almost felt like he lost 10 years of his life. 

"Tired? It's not over yet." Haruki took a glance at him as he giggled.

"Hei, no… There's more..?" Lucian gave a horrified look. 

"Of course. There're more things here that we need to try!" As Haruki said in excitement, he grabbed Lucian's hand and run for their next destination. Lucian was startled. He wanted to pull away his hand but his body would not subconsciously listen. The warm touch slowly connected him to a distant memory he buried inside his deep mind.

"Amusement parks?" Yuu asked.

"Wait? You didn't know anything about amusement parks?" Haruki was shocked.

"It's not that I don't know, but I've never went there. Plus you're forgetting that I've no one to take me there? Was it really fun going there?"

"It's fun. You should go. No, it will be even better if I bring you there for our future dating places."

"Sheeshh…There you go again saying something nonsense. Though, I didn't hate the idea. Once we're out from here, you're going to pay for all our expenses during our future dating."

Both Haruki and Yuu smiled at each other.

Amusement park?

Childish.

Dating?

Cringe. Only teenagers do that.

What am I thinking? Going out with him? When he's the one that leave me behind, neglect me? Then now, he wanted to return back to me? He wanted me back because he was bored. He had no one to play around except me. Me. The filthy me. That's what he thought of me. Nothing else.

Was it fun to leave me after I was raped by a stranger? You said you will be with me no matter what. But they are all lies.

I HATE THAT.

Please, can you just stop? Don't come near me anymore.

I said stop it!

Why won't you listen to me?

Why are you still lingering in my mind?

A drop of rain fell on Lucian's check, waking him up from his dark thought. He looked up the sky, and it was slowly raining. 

"Eh, raining? You can't be serious? The weather forecast didn't even mention about this. Yuu, let's go find some shades first." Haruki swiftly took his jacket off and covered Lucian from the rain. They scurried rapidly, looking for a shelter from the rain. They stopped at an empty gazebo which was near to the amusement park. Their clothes were drenched because of the rain despite them covering themselves with the jacket. It was raining heavily like cats and dogs. They stood there, no word coming out from them. Both were just looking at the rains pouring down. Their fingers touched. Their distance was so closed as it didn't have any space between them. Lucian did not understand why he let it happened. His body acted without his permission, like he was surrendering himself to Haruki. Is he's still had the lingering feeling towards his ex-lover?

He might probably HAVE.

"You're soaked top to bottom." Haruki wiped his face gently with his pocket handkerchief. His eyes glued to Lucian. After he was done, he stared at the drenched blonde haired man. Lucian braced himself and turned to look at Haruki, tried to fight back the gaze. His eyes filled with denial, yet there was a tiny spot that kept saying 'I want you.' Haruki's warm hand touched the Lucian's icy cheek. With no reaction coming from Lucian, Haruki slowly closed the gap between them until their lips touched. As if time was stopped for a moment, they just stayed in that state; Lucian's mind went completely blank when it happened. The screaming inside his head stopped as if they were casted by a spell. Haruki pulled Lucian in his embrace. Lucian was drowned with all the lingering feeling that viciously attacked his heart. He didn't know what to do in this kind of situation. Haruki's lips went closer to Lucian's ear and whispering.

"Tell me, is there's no other way for us to be together again?" A simple question, but it was the hardest to answer for Lucian. How was he supposed to reply to that when he himself unsure of the truth?

Lucian just kept his mouth shut. 

It was not a question that has a definite answer, he thought. He bitted his lips, furious at the thing that happened in just a couple of minutes ago between him and Haruki. He then took a deep breath, try to calm down. After he regained some confidence, he properly faced Haruki. His face showed neither expression nor any basic reaction.

"Mr. Shinoda Haruki, I think you kind of have a misunderstanding right now. I think you're forgetting that we're just sex friend, not more not less. Please don't try to take advantage of the privilege I gave you in this bogus date. Friend for benefit, don't you dare to cross the line! Now, how long are you going to hold me here? Can we move to our true agenda? I do agree that I will follow all of your term, but the main point is only for sex, nothing else. I'm not interested with anything other than that." His words were enough to shattered Haruki's faith.

"One more thing, my name is Lucian, not Yuu. He had been dead a long time ago."