Comments of chapter undefined of Ben 10: In Pokemon World with Different Omnitrix

Bjols:first off i'm likely to prefer the pokemon story. as for the other i'll try to keep reading it, but i'll admit the first chapter didn't quite hook me, can't quite point out why, but i guess the mc's detatchment to that world might come through to the point it made me detached from the story.. but yeah it is only the first chapter and i've grown used to not being hocked to stories right away so i'm still looking forward to what you will do with it, but yeah the pokemon story got me hooked thanks to the early apearance of pikachu as it provided an attachment to the world. when i read stories i tend to feel what the mc feels so if there is to much suffering without a break i tend to give those stories a miss. still want a full spectrum of emotions though, not nececarily from just one story mind you, i'm fine with fluff stories for instance. well getting to the point that it boils down to, the first chapter of the other story is well written but it has yet to make me feel much more than detachment and some other negative emotions, certanly realistic, but it is not realism that makes me attached to stories. so i guess if you had more chapters and those made me feel something it might be a good first chapter as it is just an introduction, but as a standalone it feels lacking. that being said it is still better than most first chapters i read. the reason i'm pointing the negative stuff out is that you seam like a talented author, so i hope it can help in your development. the pokemon story got my powerstones for the day so i certanly like what you have written so far.