webnovel

Comments of chapter undefined of reborn as Aemond Targaryen

Daoist_windfall_69
Daoist_windfall_69Lv4Daoist_windfall_69

You're using summary faaaaar too much. You explain what is happening rather than letting the reader experience it. Show the meetings in more detail, explain the thought process of Aemond, showcase the minutia of the meetings, describe people/locations, while not using a too flowery language. The concept of the story is interesting, but the execution could really need some work.

Rochirush
RochirushLv10Rochirush

Mmh