MilkywayAndromeda
it's well written actually. Also I liked the SS of Kei, hoping to see more in the future. And yes, put more emotional emphasis on the characters, make them realistic, their exact feelings when feeling despair, hopelessness etc. I think it adds a certain flavour to the novel. Make it so that you would want to sympathise with Kei or even feel like crying. But next moment pov shifts to Light who is a cold hearted monster and who only think how to make use of her. pov shifts can help us see the story from different angles, but don't overdo it.