the whole revealing your powers looks dumb to me .I mean he could have just formed his own personal champions like Renly's rainbow guard and subtly empowered them.
I can't really say anything but it really feels like it's all just show and no tell, like galladon did this, then he did this, his father talked to him about this, and that, but they don't really have any dialogue with eachother, feels more like it's just a diary than a story.
This is not a story. I feel like I'm reading a Wikipedia page. You're just informing me of a series of events that occurred, not painting a scene, not writing dialog. I guess what I'm trying to say is, is that I'm bored.
