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Comments of chapter undefined of The Unordinary Case of Whispering Pines

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Bummer
BummerLv2Bummer

Okay... I'm not sure if I can that things have improved. It's definitely something. Something I'm noticing is that the chapters are relatively short. I know the author is defining the chapters' meanings (case files and regular cases) but even then, the pacing and length of these chapters leave much to be desired. Now, I appreciate the growing dynamic between Ace and Ruben. It's nice. I just kinda wish there were more scenes to show that growth. The encounters with the car, the truck, the main hall, and the house aren't enough to demonstrate a growth in their relationship, considering that most of it had them in a annoyed-playful kinship (and, again, were relatively short). Also, the characters themselves are significantly changing at times. Ruben acts now less arrogantly and more considerate towards Ace and Ace loses the calculated touch of her character until the reminder of her personality by the end. While I could say the growth is nice since it adds a layer of depth to the characters, it isn't enough, nor justified from the dearth of events happening. Additionally, not much was added to the plot outside of the end, which honestly spiked my interest for the next chapter. All in all, I could say there's some improvement considering the character's new dynamic and interesting direction. But the thin foundation of it, both gramatically and thematically, isn't really helping anything with it.

Bummer
BummerLv2Bummer

Good observation. I hope these comments aren't degrading or demotivating you. You have an interesting concept and potentially good characters. Some practice and some refinement is keen onto making your story, and even writing in itself, so much better. You got this, though. Don't worry.

Kc787:Yeah honestly with all the details you pointed out, I'm kind of at a stump with this, I'm planning on doing some more research and hopefully finding a way to improve the earlier chapters and take my time, the reason the chapters came out so short is that I was planning on releasing chapters every week but now I can tell that if I want my story to be good, I'm gonna have to slow down on publishing and improve on those first chapters.