Comments of chapter undefined of Game of Thrones: Victor Di Natale

Be nice if ya toned the filler down

Great concept for a story. A suggestion- Info filler might be bothersome to read for most readers. Secondly, I don't know if you're doing an AU on the ages. In this chapter, it's 273 AC. At that time, in cannon, Robert was 11 yrs old (not sure how he can be a military commander at that age). And Renly was born in 277 (so Robert has only one brother at this time). If it's something AU or already mentioned earlier in the story, then my bad.

Nice chapter

Since the narration is in past tense please stick to it. The use present tense when describing a character breaks immersion. Besides it feels more natural to read the narration in past tense. Also the chapter had too much filler. Should have only included who are coming and their present circumstances instead their future. And their descriptions should only be written when they are present in a scene i.e when the MC meets them, or a character we are following meets them. Otherwise everything else was completely unnecessary.

Thanks for chapter more please chapter

Reading