Comments of chapter undefined of Atticus’s Odyssey: Reincarnated Into A Playground

i hope the surprise isn't something related to VR But the novel is so far very goodand I enjoy reading it very much

looks interesting 🤔

Don't think it matters and it's probably too late to change it, but shouldn't the title be Atticus' instead of Atticus's since the apostrophe already makes it possessive?

IDKY, but I read this like the summary outro for a DBZ episode. It was only missing this (at the end):

:)

how can he be coolheaded but retaliate every chance he gets provoked?

Hey i really liked the first part of your novel. It was quite good, considering this is your first story! I read the free chapters up to Ch.40 and you probably improved alot since then but there were a few things that came to mind up until that point: 1. You repeated alot of stuff way to much (for my taste). I think that was done to hammer in the importance or impact of whatever you were talking about but in the end it just felt like reading the exact same thing again - with slightly altered phrasing. Doing that might be a good choice for one specific thing/action or character that you want to stand out but if it is used in for example every character introduction, no character will feel espeacially impressive. 2. You also repeated the exact same phrases tons of times to describe things, which will again not make them feel unique or speacial. If everything is a wonder of engeneering and mana technology, well, nothing is. It is just the norm at that point. And i get that the things you described are probably very very impressive in the world at large or for "the common people" but we as the readers never got to experience that contrast and are just hearing the exact same phrase that describes it. 3. Please show and don't tell that much. You very often spelled out the exact intentions of a character through their thought process or an inner monolog and then on top of that explained those from an omnipotent perspecive. I think that alot of times the "natural" thoughts of the character in combination with their actions would be enough to show their resolve/desire or whatever else. Trust your readers to figure stuff out on their own if you write it well. I totally love the world you crafted! It was very entertaining to read and immerse myself into.