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Comments of chapter undefined of Just This 0nce

Just This 0nce

AshW0If

Chapter comments5

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Ix_Balam_Taj
Ix_Balam_TajLv11Ix_Balam_Taj

I fell like the 3rd pov really isn't that necessary or the underscore to divide the dialog. As long as the the writing is clear the underscores and pov written aren't needed. Maybe an occasional the "AI explained" or the like if it seems unclear.

6mth
1
AshW0If
AshW0IfAuthorAshW0If

Thank you for the feedback, and I promise that it gets better the further you go

6mth

Author liked the comment.

mythicZed_
mythicZed_Lv4mythicZed_

so what exactly is her unique trait that made her become abandoned? it was explained, kind of, but it is hard to understand when the system doesn't name it along with other skills. ofcourse it's something bound to be explored, but it is kind of hard to anticipate it

8mth
2
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