REALMSINUS
There are a lot of grammatical mistakes, and worse than that, a lot of names are written wrongly, which bothers me a lot more since those can just be copy & pasted, so to fail in even that... The idea itself is interesting, but I'm not quite sure about the execution of said idea, since as I said there are quite a few mistakes and I don't much like the start itself, as it took 8 chapters for something to actually happen. =/