athass_prkr
I agree with the others, stop mentioning Hermione and Longbottom unless they are in said scene, cause no offense but its so annoying to read the MC just constantly thinking about them despite how he has a neutral care for them... Please author, this novel is so good but so mid at the same time, I only believe that its kinda mid as canon is kinda going on and the MC is 'young' and dumb... actually idk, tbh maybe im wrong maybe not, maybe im not used to this type of writing still, or maybe im scarred by other novels where stuff like this has happened and the novels have just been the worst on any platform or have gotten better but have been abandoned...
Harry had known with certainty that he was going to be alone with Quirrell during the exam and that he was walking straight into an obvious trap, MC could have taken more proactive steps to prepare and stay safe. He could have made his friends to wait for himnear the exam room, discreetly informed or hinted to Flitwick about the potential danger, left a message for a teacher, or even set up an alarm. He could have even warned Quirrell that he had an appointment and a teacher was waiting for him. Anything to ensure his own safety
Several points I know he has to do the exam, but I don't recall that you have to do it in private. Why wouldn't he be allowed to take it with the rest of his class? He was recovered by then, right . Second thing is his constant concern and thinking about Hermione and Neville makes me believe that everything he's saying right now he's going to backtrack. There's way too much emphasis on on him distancing and self from them for me to believe that he will. If this is going where I think it's going and he's going to be forced to help with the challenges to get the stone then he needs to sue school. I truly believe that in the Harry Potter universe, the government and law-enforcement runs on bribery and self interest and not doing the right thing. I understand that Dumbledore is almost untouchable but in politics there's always an adversary and it doesn't have to be a death eater. He needs to find people who are against Dumbledore. There has to be those even on the light side that would see benefits in Dumbledore being knock down a notch.
Harry needs to check if 1. he can somehow get Emancipated(Doubt it) or 2. Get magically/physically/officially adopted by someone he trusts (i would recommend Andromeda even tho she’s a house wife she’s also one of the Black Sisters even if she was disowned and isn’t Ted a lawyer or is that not canon )
The writing is good but the plot and mcs personality are bad it was ok at first and I was pretty excited about the premise but later on there was no positive developments he just continues to get worse and let himself be forced to follow the plot not attempting to change anything even likening it to “fate” it’s so frustrating and annoying to read. The mc has little to no common sense it’s infuriating
This guy is so paranoid about meeting quirrel but apparently not paranoid enough to take precautionary measures or ask his friends to wait for him Also i agree with everyone that you should stop or reduce having longbottom and hermione get brought up in paragraphs, mc doesn't care for both of them so stop giving thwm screentime. I know that harry and hermione aren't friends anymore so stop bringing it up everytime harry sees her