Comments of chapter undefined of Immortality? Nah, I choose to marry instead!
Immortality? Nah, I choose to marry instead!
Sheizzcoldasice
Chapter comments28
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Sheizzcoldasice
It is a very interesting concept, I feel like your objective is to make the caracters personalities and appereances as real as you can and that it’s cool, but a little more backstory can make the caracteres reletable, also I allways think in cultivation novels that the carachter santa to be strong, but what he will do with all that, after he becomes strong then what, i don’t feel related to the objective of the main carachter, at first he wanted to cultivate for protection, cool ok, then he has some strenght and found out he was no good forr that, so he changed to be happy with a wife and have a big family, ok great, but why does he want that, I can’t relate to gis objective, it just feels like he goes with the flow, then he get’s a system and wants women for more power, ok weird, but ok, and my point is he has all this advantages, he wants a big family and gain power, but I feel like he is lost in the objective, it doesn’t feel like he wants a family, it just feels like a pokemon game were you just collect your team, I feel like there is a need for a deeper conection for the carachters besides the “I saved you and you and I are a family now”, I feel that this will add depth at your story, but as allways it’s your story, we’re just with you in the ride you want take us, just make sure where that is going and what is what you want for that ride.
