_oinkchan
Hmm.... Strange sense after this chapter đ¤ Don't understand why author need to recall part of 8 episode with some extras, when in previous chapter speaking about Balon vs Aemond Write quality good đ Plot development yet weak by this time. To much thoughts and not enough activities Hope in next chapters, would be more)
chapters like these always breaks the flow of the story. I see no reason to not begin the new chapter where the previous left off If you wanted to include this chapter so much though, it wouldâve made sense for it to release before the previous one , in my opinion The flow here just felt weird. I can only hope in the future you donât suddenly shift into the past to mention something that is supposedly already happening in the last chapter Good chapter anyways though
I abhor when authors do this, regardless of whether the information in this chapter will be useful in the future it should NEVER cut off what was previously going on last chapter. You could've done it literally any time after the fight between the MC and his brother, but you instead picked the worst possible time to do it.
Yo i have this crazy storyline for you tell me if you want me to delete this comment So after this whole ordeal baelon goes to dragonstone with rhae to get a dragon and he get cannibal meanwhile aegon is declared the king so baelon goes to stromsend where he fights and kills vhaegar so cannibal drinks his blood. So as baelon get powerful by drinking human blood cannibal get powerfull by drinking dragons blood....
Nice, the story looks good so far. One pitfall I hope the author will avoid is to make the main character too powerful, too quickly. It sounds clichĂŠ but so many authors in this site makes overpowered protagonists and kills the pacing in the process. To avoid that I recommend that certain weaknesses and limitations be introduced that affects Baelon's vampirism. Luckily, there is a whole load of explored vampire weaknesses in other fandoms such as weakness to sunlight or extreme vulnerability to silver weapons. When done correctly limitations can make characters even more compelling and really immerses readers into the story(like Nen abilities in HunterxHunter).
you are switching view points way way to much. view point shifts are ok for interludes having 11 chapters and oer half being view point shifts isnt ok it's like you dont really know how to write with the mc so your crutching . or if you really didnt want to focus on 1st person point of view story you should of wrote the whole thing in third. nust bad story telling and writing imo.