Comments of chapter undefined of Game of Thrones: Lord of the Seven Seas
Game of Thrones: Lord of the Seven Seas
Axel_wheel
Chapter comments16
PufferdungLv4Pufferdung
Too little information. This chapter only consists of explanations of White Harbour (which was too long, btw), and him, meeting Jory.
Axel_wheelAuthorAxel_wheel
Pufferdung:You could expand more on the dialogue between MC and Jory, and the ending of the chapter is poorly executed. It's a cut off a dialogue, where you could finish it and write a conclusion. It's not a cliffhanger.
Jordon_BLv1Jordon_B
Yeah, it was pretty dumb for him to run away like that. But it was definitely even more stupid to go straight back there a week later. Go back after you've proven successful a bit, and they may reluctantly let you continue. Go back so soon and they punish you, tell you you're not mature enough and clearly can't be trusted not to make stupid decisions, and they have you constantly followed.
