Renza_Lo
ok so it would take me forever to go back and address all of the past mistakes but I will do my best to help from here forward. but each mistake will have to be it's own message because I cannot scroll up the page for reference when trying to help.
"Sorry to trouble Mr. Teo" Although Rose wanted to avoid the silver haired man, but she didn't have a good reason to avoid the dragon race king's right hand should go more like this. "Sorry to trouble you Mr. Theo." Although Rose wanted to avoid the silver haired man, she did not have a good enough reason to deny the king's right hand's offer. I'm pretty sure you are trying to use the name Theodore because there are a few times in which you spell it Theodhore instead of Teodhore, and maybe I'm wrong but it just seems as though Theodore is what you are trying to say and it is also a historically common name. I apologize if I am being too forward. I am sincerely trying to help you. but I should be explaining why each error is in fact an error because this method is not teaching you anything:( my goal was to help!!! not pick apart your writing! please forgive my attempt to help, I will just keep my words to myself from here on out! but again, you should honestly look into a volunteer editor! and pick someone who will explain why the changes are being made so that it honestly benefits your growth as an author of stories in English! I commend you because I was lucky and was born in the untied stated where English is the dominant language. supposedly, it is literally the hardest language to learn fluently and also the very hardest to learn to write because there are so many words that have multiple meanings, so many words in general, our grammer guidelines are thar at best, GUIDELINES, because they vary so much you cannot call them rules! you're doing an amazing job and tour story is truly interesting, I can't wait for more!!!! best of luck and sorry again.
number 2) she was surprised because she wasn't usually awake this afternoon. the awake this afternoon makes no sense! I think what you are trying to convey is that she usually does not sleep clear into the afternoon. if I'm right a way to put it would be she wasn't usually one to sleep so late. especially into the afternoon.