The story is great. the problem is slow release, with slow progression with chapters providing almost no progression. It's a couple of scenes at best per chapter. It would take like 30 chapters to have a single 20min episode. there is just so little content in this.
I find the story interesting, I am grateful to be able to read your story because I know it is difficult to write.
ps: I hope you don't get discouraged by the bad comments, I wish you good luck