Comments of chapter undefined of Game of Thrones : The Northern Realms
Game of Thrones : The Northern Realms
ElderKwon
Chapter comments113
So I just finished re-reading through this entirely and noticed quite a few things out of place. There are multiple spelling and grammatical errors throughout the story. Nothing big but enough to notice. Also, you have set up things multiple times in the later chapters only to forget about them in the chapters afterwards. For example, the murmurs play performed by the Starks was also to train people ready for the long night and so the north could pre-emptively strike at the night king. You stated Harry and the North didn't want to get involved in the war of five kings, but then had him conquer the Northern Riverlands. The Ironborn attacked the North, but we haven't heard anything more about them. It's like you forgot they existed. You stated in the conversation between Aryan and Jon that the North was united as 1 kingdom, 1 ruler, and 1 religion but have then just had the Whitehills slaughtered for treasonous thoughts and belief in the faith of the 7. It honestly feels like you aren't very committed to a story plot and have lost much of your interest in the fic. Especially with the very slow updates and disjointed chapters
