Barion_Trident
Hey author, I really like the novel, but I wanted to point out a weakness in one of your major choices. The twins absence makes them forgettable to the reader. It's like a long distance relationship. In order for it to work well, both parties need to communicate a lot and make time as much as possible. In this instance the reader and the twins have been seperated for so long with so little contact it becomes harder to care and stay invested in the relationship as they have been absent for over 430 chapters, only showing up in the mind space once very briefly. This is more shocking when you consider the twins became star maidens before Lilia or Aria. Speaking of the twins, they are very underdevolped despite being added to the family so early. I could not tell you a single thing about them other than they are sisters and they have the evolution star. I couldn't tell you their personalities or looks as they have interacted with Aster twice. I could tell you a lot about every other woman near Aster as you have developed each one very well! One of the other ways you develop the women really well is by having them interact with eachother, but the twins have not interacted with any of the girls except for Rya the two times Aster did. What I could tell you about the twins, is their star is the evolution star. The twins have no screen time whatsoever, but their star or it's powers gets mentioned about every other chapter. This communicates to the reader that we should care about the star and not about the twins. And how can we care about the twins when we hardly know or see them? Clearly you needed the evolution star for plot progression of all the characters, but why not tie it to someone present in the story. This brings to question why they are star maidens at all? Everyone that is a star maiden has a very powerful and strong relationship with Aster and the twins do not. How can they deserve to be star maidens if Eris and Mylene aren't, when those two actually have a relationship with Aster. If the reason is they aren't lovers, then what about Kana? Kana has one of the strongest relationships with Aster and they both accept they will be lovers in the future which should make her a star maiden, because the twins aren't Aster's lover yet, as the twins became star maidens without any physical relationship other than a kiss. Again, the twins became star maidens before Lilia or Aria. I think the easiest solution is to finally give them bodies, but if you are putting that off for some narrative purpose, then you should have them show up in the mind space more frequently so that the readers can (bare minimum) remember them and get to know them. Actually, looking back to be accurate in typing this, I saw one of the twins is named Alessia and I think she got mentioned during the date with Rya and Lilia one time. However, when I first read those chapters I did not recognize the name and thought it was a typo (since the name never comes up). Just to show how little impact they have and how forgotten they are, atleast for me. I couldn't even tell you their names before looking back for this post. I am really enjoying the story and think you are doing such a good job with all the other girls that the twins stand out for being nonexistent, despite their star being so important and them being added to the family so early.