GNAR
Hey Gnar. another good chapter, thanks. There are quite a few grammatical mistakes, unfortunately I can't point them out because I'm using a phone. There are alot of mixed up the pronouns, calling the sister he and the brother she. I suggest you start with trying to get a handle on those, as that would make some of the other mistakes a bit easier to spot. there are also a few parts that were a bit incoherent which I think might be a punctuation problem. I'm not a professional but I'll try and edit the chapter for you so can see the mistakes I was talking about. Good job so far and good luck. Don't drop this yet. Use it as an opportunity to see where your english needs to be improved.
Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact leorichard2021*@*outlook.com (please ignore both * when sending email). A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.