Lizbreaker1174
there are a lot more grammar/spelling mistakes in this chapter but I got bored of commenting on them the story seems interesting so far though
I’m sorry to have to say this but, learn some proper grammar and basic spelling. The story sounds like an intresting concept but is so badly written that it’s unreadable. You used the wrong words several times “server” is not the same as “severe” as one refers to computers and the other means the same as ”extremely”. This is just one of so many extreme errors I lost count. Either learn to write intelligible or hire an editor. My mom teaches third graders and they write better sadly.