webnovel

Comments of chapter undefined of Jacob Mornings

Jacob Mornings

chimychimes

Chapter comments9

Author liked the comment.

WyattJaymes54
WyattJaymes54Lv1WyattJaymes54

this is a very good story. however you have problems with missing words in sentences. I suggest reading the sentences out loud to yourself and adding the words that flow into the sentence. Other than that this is a great read. you have exceptional talent. Your characters are really well developed. I really enjoyed reading this. I can't wait to see more from you.

2yr
1

Author liked the comment.

Andry_Reyes
Andry_ReyesLv1Andry_Reyes

I have the same critics with other people. Writing is clean and magnificent but the lack of descriptions prevent me from being fully engaged

2yr
2

Author liked the comment.

Deborah_Pruijmboom
Deborah_PruijmboomLv2Deborah_Pruijmboom

I love how this story starts.

2yr
1

Author liked the comment.

Soun_Phavin
Soun_PhavinLv10Soun_Phavin

I'm not a perfect writer myself but I'm gonna be honest... Your grammar is great The vocabulary is on point but it lack description and it's kind you know confusing. But yeah. the plot is great and interesting. (I still didn't remember all the names yet tho)

2yr
1

Author liked the comment.

CristiaN
CristiaNLv2CristiaN

Well, it is good, but could you add more descriptions I think that will help you.

2yr
1
Rurik_Jenkins
Rurik_JenkinsLv1Rurik_Jenkins

Other than a few grammatical errors and a few improvements needed on sentence structure, it holds up fine. However, the conversation between Jakes and his mother feels a bit stiff and unnatural. And like what the other comments had said, a bit more descriptions about the surroundings could really build the scene. It'd be pretty hard for us to imagine how a scene looks like if we don't have some descriptions to go from.

2yr
Login