Comments of chapter undefined of Just Saiyan (DBZ/DC)
Just Saiyan (DBZ/DC)
Draugzel
Chapter comments37
I... honestly just feel disappointed in this chapter. Not that Raven is moving out, but only being able to find an apartment in Jump City did feel obviously forced though. There was such a good opportunity for some interesting interactions between the villain Grod and other apes. I noticed a reoccurring theme of the MC avoiding interactions with the villains or just briefly summarizing what happened which is such a waste. Everything that doesn't have to do with Kara and Raven or any female character takes a back seat and when it comes to a female everything is explained in great detail which is most of the reading material. Some of which is unnecessary. Food too. We get it, he eats a lot. There are times to explain his food habits in detail and times not to. Unless it's gonna lead to an interesting interaction/reaction, don't bother. It's just a waste of reading material. This was a fun read at first but the quality is dropping and I found myself reading this feeling bored, not paying attention much to what I was reading and just skimming through it a bit. Author, you need to mix it up a bit, focus more on interactions, especially with villains when on missions. Also try not to explain things in too much detail and try to shorten it, especially with monologues about a female character. Add some comedy. There was some at the beginning of the fanfic but there a huge lack of it and there were a lot of easy opportunities. It would also help to make your inner monologues feel more like an inner-monologue/the MC's thoughts.
