Comments of chapter undefined of Chaos' Heir
Chaos' Heir
Eveofchaos
Chapter comments25
I love this story but I think you’r really pushing the believability of the story with fights like this. You had his body literally failing and falling apart and just so destroyed by the time the nele showed up and YET you had him still do a full sprint, 2 spells, one of them FULL POWER, and a full body attack with his knife not once but twice. Bro like I feel like this is so stupid and not even believable. Even if it is a fantasy story it just reads as soo absurd. Like, dude this isn’t the end of The Demonic sword where everyone is a fking god. You’v done great at portraying how real and mortal everyone is because it’s not some super hero god fest right now. Even the most powerful aliens that affected the MC weren’t some beings that could fight standing on the sun. They were still killable and mortal. This whole fight reads like something from the final moments of Demonic Sword. I really disliked this chapter as a whole. It’s like every fight you’re pushing things into insanity when you’v been grounded in reality up to this point. I don’t think the months break you took did any good for this story and I don’t know how you can come back unless you heavily edit this chapter to be more normal and take away some of the damage Khan sustained so that it’s more believable. This chapter sets a saddening precedent. I’m disappointed.
I enjoyed the chapter as you said every chance he got was due to something else, you did mention time and time again how the damage on his body affected his fighting, plus as you said kha has an monster mana reserve since it’ a natural A teir mana core, so the spells are not tht much. Don’ take one persons negative comment to heart keep writing a story that you will like to read!! At the end of the day it’ all about having fun with it and not make it feel like an job Plus it’s fire so khan got burns throughout the whole fight not something tht will be immanent to his death like a stab or slash through vital organs, the vitals were protected just not the skin and muscles on his body. I felt like the battle made sense I’ll end it with tht
Eveofchaos:But the spells aren't heavy on his body? Idk, I feel that I did a decent job at justifying opportunities with damage taken. Khan never hit the Orlats without distractions, and in his slowed state he pulled something off only after the roots arrived.
eh, does it push believability that he'd still be alive and functioning after all that? maybe a little, but he's already been established as someone to whom pain generally matters very little in a fight. I personally enjoy all the choreography, I can very easily see these fights in my head, so I'm having a good time at least
I thought it was a pretty good chapter all, some parts could have been given more thought into but I still enjoyed the chapter overall. Thank you for the chapter 😁✌️ Though I do where some peoples critisicm is regarding how badly he was beaten up, if you do read a bit closer it does say that he really only took a few direct hits while the rest are like near hits but still burns since he’s up against fire. It says that he wasn’t able to fully perform his martial arts or spells completely due to how exhausted his body was. So though I did enjoy the chapter overall, the chapter somewhat threw me off but hey, what do I know, I’m not a writer 😄. Just keep what you have been doing since you’ve been doing a good job so far Eve. I’ll just be putting my opinion here and there and you can literally just take it with a grain of salt. 🫰
The thing is, you need a break brother. botds is a very large point in your life, 3+years of constant writing my guy and the funny thing is, the answer to your issue is something you literally wrote into your story. Take lessons from Noah, sometimes seclusion is necessary to process the changes to your existence.
Thanks eve. I do have to agree with the comment about the fight, I figured it was reaching for just inflicting an injury but something Kahn could clutch. I dont know about the part where he almost passed out then went to proceed and go through several more attacks seemed a little far fetched. I think the distractions could work and that the he could injure his opponent but not in the state he was in before that point 🤷♂️ Just my 2 cents bro, I know you actually care about the thoughts of your readers and seen how well you improve from the criticism/comments of your readers, figured you might wanna know Still my favourite novel yet and is the only chapter iv had a negative thought on :)
