Comments of chapter undefined of Different Royal Pony.
Different Royal Pony.
Blacklares
Chapter comments22
The romance in this chapter was poorly executed. When it comes to character development, avoid using bullet points and time skips. You failed to convey his emotions effectively; instead, you simply stated that he's in love. There was no foreshadowing of this development in the story, despite the obvious imagery of the fiction. This aspect was never mentioned or developed before. Besides that I am really enjoying the story.
seriously mate, its becoming quitte annoying how much of a puss he is, i mean i get the whole wanting to keep the friendship safe thing, but its starting to feel more like an excuse to keep the romance off for as long as possible and less like a part of whom he is....that sucks mate, love the story though very interresting.
