Please dont apologize. This is not anything remotely easy to deal with. Especially when you lose someone you were close too. I still miss my friend and uncle (not blood related) and its been a few years. You dont need to apologize for being human.
Author, it's okay... everyone makes mistakes. Anyway, I can understand you. I also lost my dear granny... She was really an awesome person~~~ Let her piece in heavens.
What I want to say is, you can get through this! /giving you a hug/ 🌟🌟🌟